Read Online The Ghost in Love by Jonathan Carroll - Free Book Online
Authors: Jonathan Carroll
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at that! But he knew German hated blood or gore and theyâd already witnessed a stabbing tonight. Narrowing his eyes for better focus, he continued staring at the TV.
At the same time that he was looking at the television set over the bar, Danielle Voyles was looking at a TV set in her living room. Both of them saw exactly the same thing: an oral surgery videotape. Danielle was a dental assistant who prided herself on being up on the very latest developments in the field. While recuperating from her operation, she spent a lot of time studying videotapes of oral procedures that her boss, Dr. Franz, had made.
While Ben watched in disgust, Danielle watched, ate cheese popcorn, and sipped from a can of Dr Pepper. Ben had been drinking vodka but suddenly his mouth filled with the distinctive tang of cheese popcorn. Which was then flooded away by the thick sweetness and bubbles of the soft drink.
The entire occurrence lasted only seconds. When it was over he thought some part of his frazzled brain was playing tricks on him after the shock of the stabbing incident earlier. But in fact it was just the beginning.
In the days that followed, Ben Gould experienced more and more snatches of Danielle Voylesâs life. Each time it happened, it was as if he literally
was
her for short periods of time. He saw through hereyes, tasted whatever she put in her mouth, and knew her every thought during the seconds he was inside her. Danielle was never aware of any of this. It was completely one-sided.
Frightening, fascinating, but always frightening again, he learned who she was, what had happened to her, what she believed, dreamed, and feared. He could not stop the experience from happening again and again. He would be standing at the kitchen sink in his apartment, drinking a glass of water. With no warning heâd suddenly be standing in front of a mirror looking at the reflection of Danielleâs face, seeing it through her eyes. While she applied lipstick and stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, thinking about what to do that day, he experienced all of Danielle: what she saw, what she perceived, what she thought. At the same time, he remained separate and apart and always Ben Gould too. Just as suddenly the experience would stop and he would be back in his life. It had happened to him many times since the night of the stabbing. He told German Landis all of this while sitting with her on a bench in the park across the street from Danielleâs apartment building.
This was what had made him increasingly odd and remote when they lived together. Of course, the freakiness of the experience impacted on his behavior toward German. Finally it became unbearable for her and she confronted him about it. But by then Ben was so afraid he was going insane that her alarm only exacerbated things and made him pull further away from her. A short while later she told him she couldnât stand their situation anymore and moved out.
Soon afterward, Ben went to Danielle Voylesâs apartment for the first time. He knew her name and address because she had taken out her driverâs license one day to prove her identity when cashing a check. He rang the bell and she answered but saw no one there on opening the door. She shrugged and closed it. He rang the bell againand she opened again, this time frowning. Seeing an empty hallway, she took three steps out into it to hopefully catch a glimpse of the prankster. When she did, Ben slipped around her and entered her apartment.
It did not surprise him that he was invisible to her. Previously he had tried every way he could imagine to communicate with Danielle while inside her. He had talked, whistled, and sung, but nothing worked.
âHello,â he said to her now in a normal voice from two feet away.
She closed the front door, shook her head, and went back to the program she had been watching on television.
âCan you hear me? Can you see me?â
Oblivious, she picked up the
At the same time that he was looking at the television set over the bar, Danielle Voyles was looking at a TV set in her living room. Both of them saw exactly the same thing: an oral surgery videotape. Danielle was a dental assistant who prided herself on being up on the very latest developments in the field. While recuperating from her operation, she spent a lot of time studying videotapes of oral procedures that her boss, Dr. Franz, had made.
While Ben watched in disgust, Danielle watched, ate cheese popcorn, and sipped from a can of Dr Pepper. Ben had been drinking vodka but suddenly his mouth filled with the distinctive tang of cheese popcorn. Which was then flooded away by the thick sweetness and bubbles of the soft drink.
The entire occurrence lasted only seconds. When it was over he thought some part of his frazzled brain was playing tricks on him after the shock of the stabbing incident earlier. But in fact it was just the beginning.
In the days that followed, Ben Gould experienced more and more snatches of Danielle Voylesâs life. Each time it happened, it was as if he literally
was
her for short periods of time. He saw through hereyes, tasted whatever she put in her mouth, and knew her every thought during the seconds he was inside her. Danielle was never aware of any of this. It was completely one-sided.
Frightening, fascinating, but always frightening again, he learned who she was, what had happened to her, what she believed, dreamed, and feared. He could not stop the experience from happening again and again. He would be standing at the kitchen sink in his apartment, drinking a glass of water. With no warning heâd suddenly be standing in front of a mirror looking at the reflection of Danielleâs face, seeing it through her eyes. While she applied lipstick and stared at herself in the bathroom mirror, thinking about what to do that day, he experienced all of Danielle: what she saw, what she perceived, what she thought. At the same time, he remained separate and apart and always Ben Gould too. Just as suddenly the experience would stop and he would be back in his life. It had happened to him many times since the night of the stabbing. He told German Landis all of this while sitting with her on a bench in the park across the street from Danielleâs apartment building.
This was what had made him increasingly odd and remote when they lived together. Of course, the freakiness of the experience impacted on his behavior toward German. Finally it became unbearable for her and she confronted him about it. But by then Ben was so afraid he was going insane that her alarm only exacerbated things and made him pull further away from her. A short while later she told him she couldnât stand their situation anymore and moved out.
Soon afterward, Ben went to Danielle Voylesâs apartment for the first time. He knew her name and address because she had taken out her driverâs license one day to prove her identity when cashing a check. He rang the bell and she answered but saw no one there on opening the door. She shrugged and closed it. He rang the bell againand she opened again, this time frowning. Seeing an empty hallway, she took three steps out into it to hopefully catch a glimpse of the prankster. When she did, Ben slipped around her and entered her apartment.
It did not surprise him that he was invisible to her. Previously he had tried every way he could imagine to communicate with Danielle while inside her. He had talked, whistled, and sung, but nothing worked.
âHello,â he said to her now in a normal voice from two feet away.
She closed the front door, shook her head, and went back to the program she had been watching on television.
âCan you hear me? Can you see me?â
Oblivious, she picked up the
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