article, or something."
"Nah." He
sighs. "I'll figure it out."
"Okay." I stand
on tiptoe to accept the usual hugs. They're warm, solid boys, and
their friendly embraces should be comforting. I wish I could find
that in them; that I could feel something beyond the incredulity
flesh inspires. Instead I wince, and pray that they never notice.
"Catch you later."
After a browse
around the supermarket, I head home through the old main town, past
the library and the majestic crash of the water mill. Our block
sits four storeys high on a new-build estate not far outside the
Saxon town gates. We picked our flat for the size of the bedrooms,
and subsequently, the built-in wardrobes; it meant we ended up with
a tiny kitchen-slash-sitting room, but for overall space, it's
worth it.
I keep
everything white in my room, from the shiny Ikea furniture to the
bed linen I launder each weekend with fabric softener more
expensive than wine. Colours litter my windowsill in the form of my
Yankee graveyard; as Vicky says, it's where good candles go to die.
My current favourite is a sweet pea one that smells like my late
grandma's garden.
White is my
logic. My safeword, of a sort. When I decorated this room at the
beginning of last term, it felt like a clean slate–I was finally
free of Dominic. I replaced photos of us with my candles, and the
bright sheets he soiled with fresh, pure white. Dominic was the
politics to my business; he was the last push-up, but without the
adrenaline to cheer me up after. And when we– he –decided it
was over, I needed to remind myself that I wasn't transparent
without him, though it felt like all the colour had been drained
from me. I was just a clean slate, just white. I was still
beautiful.
Even when he
said I wasn't beautiful at all.
Books by Lucy V.
Morgan
Breaking
Leila
Breaking
Joseph
*
Tainted
Touch
Twisted
Summer
Beautiful
Mess
The Gentleman
Has Left The Building
VIOLETTA
(coming
August 2014)
*
A Cliché Too
Far
new adult
parody series
Tousle
Me
Quest for You
(coming 2014)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
[email protected] Lucy V. Morgan
writes sharp contemporary fiction, usually with a liberal splatter
of filth. She lives in England, where she also works as an editor.
She spends her spare time consuming lebkuchen, working through her
TBR pile, and pretending she's an urban fantasy heroine in body
combat classes.
She shares lots
of teasers on Facebook, so you should look her up right this
minute, really, shouldn’t you?
Visit my website
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