The Forever of Ella and Micha

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Book: The Forever of Ella and Micha by Jessica Sorensen Read Free Book Online
Authors: Jessica Sorensen
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depressed? What if Micha and I stay together and I start to go downhill? What if I ruin his life?
    By the time I leave the parking space, all I want to do is go home, climb into bed, and shut down my mind.

    “Ella, get your butt out of bed,” Lila demands, jerking the blankets off me. “Or I swear to God, I’m going to dump a cup of ice water on you.”
    The sunlight trickling through the window stings my eyes. I curl up in a ball, cradle my knees to my chest, and cover my head with my arms. “Leave me alone and close the curtain. The light is giving me a headache.”
    She turns down the song playing on the stereo, “The Tide” by Spill Canvas, and sits down on the edge of the bed. She’s wearing a white shirt, jeans, and a pair of high-heeled boots. Her hair is curled up and her lips are stained pink, along with her cheeks.
    “Are you going out?” I bury my face to the pillow and my voice muffles. “If you are, can you pick up some milk? I drank it all last night.”
    She tugs on my shoulder, kind of roughly, and forces me to look at her. “You have to stop this. You’ve been in bed for almost three days… What the heck happened back in Star Grove?”
    “Nothing,” I mutter. “I dropped my dad off at rehab and then drove back here.”
    “What did your dad say to you?” She says it with accusation.
    “Nothing.” I roll onto my stomach and smash my face into the pillow. “Look, Lila, you can sit here and dig into this all you want, but there’s nothing there. I just feel like shit and want to be alone.”
    She dithers and then gets up from the bed. “I’ll be back later tonight with some milk.”
    “Thank you.” I shut my eyes. “And can you turn the music back up?”
    A few seconds later, Spill Canvas fills the room again and I drift off to sleep, happy to let my mind enter sleep mode.

    “How long has she been like this?” Fingers lightly trace up and down my back.
    “Since she came back from dealing with her dad,” Lila says with worry in her tone. “So, like, four days. She barely gets out bed and she won’t eat anything.”
    “What the hell happened?” Micha sounds equally as concerned.
    I rotate onto my side, blinking my exhausted eyes against the sunlight spilling through the window. Micha is sitting on the edge of my bed with his hand on my back and his hair has a little wave to it, which means he’s recently been sleeping.
    “Nothing happened,” I say and they both jump.
    “That’s a lie.” Lila paces the floor with her hands on her hips. Her blonde hair is twisted up and she’s got on a purple lacy dress. “We know something happened.”
    Micha’s is wearing all black, with his chain hooked to the belt loops. His eyes search mine and my insides quiver. “What did your dad say to you?”
    I sit up and his hand falls off my back to the bed. “He didn’t say anything.”
    “Ella May”—he reaches for my face—“don’t feed me bullshit.”
    “I’m not feeding you bullshit, Micha Scott.” I climb out of the bed and drag my feet toward the bathroom. “Did you ever consider that this is who I am? That maybe you can’t save me because you’d have to save me from my own head?” I lock the door and collapse onto the floor, hugging my knees to my chest as thoughts race through my head.
    I wish he wasn’t here.
    I wish he would just let me go.
    I wish I didn’t have to wake up anymore and deal with life, because it hurts. It all hurts.
    Seconds later, someone knocks on the door. “Ella, open the God damn door before I break it down.”
    “I want to be left alone,” I snap. “I never asked you to come here, Micha.”
    “I know you didn’t,” he says softly through the door. “Lila called me because she was worried about you. And so am I. You act like you might be going back to that dark place again.”
    “I’m not. I promise.” I feel too drained to deal with anything else, so I crawl over to the shower and turn it on, letting the sound of the running water

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