Read Online The Forever of Ella and Micha by Jessica Sorensen - Free Book Online Page A

the chair so my back is to Dylan and Chase. “What’s wrong? You sound upset.”
    “I’m fine.” She breathes into the phone loudly. “My dad just ran out of rehab and I had to drive up to Star Grove and take him back.”
    “Why didn’t you call me?” My voice echoes through the room so I lower it. “I would have come over and helped you.”
    “That’s why I didn’t call you.” Her tone is strained. “You didn’t need to come out. Ethan helped me and it’s all good. I’m taking my dad back to the rehab right now and then I’m heading back to school.”
    “Do you need me to fly out there?” I stand up and pick up my guitar, ready to go.
    “No, I’m fine, Micha,” she assures me. “I need to start taking care of myself a little bit more, but I promise I’m not having a meltdown.”
    I should be happy, but I’m not. “When are you heading out to the wedding?”
    She pauses and the phone statics. “In, like, a week, but you don’t need to come. I know you’re busy with stuff.”
    “What the fuck is going on?” I’m getting pissed. “Why are you blowing me off?”
    She sighs heavily. “I’m not blowing you off. I’m trying to let you live your life without my burdens… Look, I have to go. I just pulled up to the rehab center.” She hangs up before I can say anything else.
    I rake my hands through my hair and then kick the brick wall behind the stage. “God damn it.”
    Everyone in the club looks at me with terror in their eyes and I jump off the platform, storming for the door.
    “Where are you going?” Naomi calls out, turning away from the bartender, ready to head after me. I ignore her and walk outside to the busy street.
    Things aren’t going the way I planned. I haven’t even told Ella how I’m feeling—what I want from her—and she’s already pushing me away. Maybe I need to figure something else out.
    Or maybe it might be time to move on.

Ella
    “Do you want me to walk you in?” I say to my dad, putting the car into park. We’re out in front of the rehab center, a small tan brick building with a narrow bench area in front of it where people are smoking. The sky is cloudy and leaves fall from the trees onto the hood of the car.
    He shakes his head as he unbuckles his seatbelt. “I’ll be fine, Ella. And you should probably be getting on the road before it gets too late.”
    “Are you sure?” I check. “Because like I said back at the house, you can talk to me if you need to.”
    He gazes at the entrance door. “I didn’t mean what I said… I don’t blame you. I know it wasn’t your fault.” My gaze meets his eyes, which have cleared of alcohol but still carry so much pain and hatred. “I know it’s probably hard for you to remember, but I didn’t used to be like this. Things used to be good, and then your mother started taking a turn for the worse and everything went downhill. It was hard to deal with, and I handled it wrong.”
    I’m stunned. He’s never talked to me like this before, but he also hasn’t been sober for more than five minutes.
    “Dad, do you regret things…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “Do you wish that sometimes you would have just left and had a normal life?”
    He lets out a shaky breath. “Honestly, yes, sometimes I look back and wish I would have run out. I probably would have been a lot happier. I’ll always hate myself for feeling that way, but it’s the truth.” He opens the door and climbs out, ducking his head back into the cab. “Thanks for bringing me back.”
    He shuts the door and walks up the sidewalk, putting a cigarette into his mouth as he joins the people in the smoking area. A woman with red hair hands him a Zippo and he lights up, taking a drag. I sit in the car for a while and let his words replay in my mind with a heavy feeling weighing on my shoulders. Is this Micha’s and my future? The therapist already wants to check me for depression, which was how my mother started. What if it ends up that I am