Read Online The Forbidden Touch of Sanguardo by Julia James - Free Book Online
Authors: Julia James
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met anyone as...as wary ...as you are. I’m truly astonished that I’ve actually finally got you sitting here, of your own free will, having dinner with me.’ His eyes rested on her. ‘Can it be that you’ve finally decided I’m safe?’
Celeste blinked, her eyes flaring. Safe? Rafael Sanguardo sat there and called himself safe? A man who was getting past every defence she possessed? Defences she had never even needed till now!
She pulled herself together. He was giving her the perfect opportunity she was looking for. To inform him, as clearly as was needed, that this was not the start of something—it was the end of it.
‘Mr Sanguardo—’ she began.
‘Rafael,’ he corrected.
She couldn’t bring herself to say his given name. It would create a level of familiarity that was exactly what she was trying to distance herself from.
‘I really do have to make something clear to you,’ she went on. She fiddled with the stem of her wine glass, steeling herself. Why was it so hard to say what she had to say? It wouldn’t be the first time. Usually it never came to this, because men who were keen on her had backed off long before now—frozen out by her lack of response to their overtures—but from time to time she’d had to spell it out with capital letters. This was definitely one of them.
But it wasn’t like any of the earlier times. Because then, she knew, with a hollowing of her insides, it had been no effort at all to say no to what was on offer. Whereas now...
I don’t want to say no to him...
The words were in her head before she could stop them, forcing themselves into her consciousness. For the first time she had finally encountered a man to whom her customary rejection to all males was not easy and effortless to make. For the first time she had encountered a man to whom she did not want to say no.
She wanted to give a completely different answer...an answer that was singing in her blood, that had leapt in her eyes the very first moment she had seen him, that was making her want to do nothing more than let her eyes gaze at him, soak him up. Her nerves were tingling in every limb, her heart was beating that much faster, her breathing was unsteady...
Then harsh reality sounded in her head.
But it’s no good! I have to say no! I have to say no to Rafael Sanguardo. Because I always have to say no.
How could she ever say anything else when that clinging trail of slime still left its fetid trace across her skin...would always do so...?
I can’t escape the past—what I did. And I can never be free of it—never! So what else can I say to any man except no...
And that was exactly what she was going to do now. Make herself do.
‘I have to be completely honest with you,’ she ploughed on. She was looking at him full in the face and he sat back, a veiled look in his eyes. ‘This isn’t personal, I assure you, but it wouldn’t be fair of me to let you think that having dinner like this is in any way...um...well, a date—because it isn’t.’
‘Why not?’ The question cut across her hesitant explication. It was asked with an air of casual curiosity. The veiled look was still in his eyes.
‘Well, because—’ She stopped.
‘Yes?’ One dark eyebrow quirked. He picked up his wine glass, holding it in long fingers but not drinking from it. He looked relaxed, unfazed by what she was saying.
‘Because I just don’t do this stuff, that’s why,’ she said bluntly.
‘Ah, “stuff”,’ he repeated with an air of discovery. ‘That’s very enlightening. Do, please, elaborate.’
She took a breath. ‘Like I said, it isn’t personal, but I’ve made it a rule not to...to... Well, to do what I’m doing now, I guess. Or,’ she added pointedly, ‘anything else!’
‘Such as champagne breakfasts in bed?’
‘Yes!’
Rafael responded ruminatively. ‘Well, I can understand why, if you move in a world populated by the likes of Karl Reiner, you have that rule, and I regard it as
Celeste blinked, her eyes flaring. Safe? Rafael Sanguardo sat there and called himself safe? A man who was getting past every defence she possessed? Defences she had never even needed till now!
She pulled herself together. He was giving her the perfect opportunity she was looking for. To inform him, as clearly as was needed, that this was not the start of something—it was the end of it.
‘Mr Sanguardo—’ she began.
‘Rafael,’ he corrected.
She couldn’t bring herself to say his given name. It would create a level of familiarity that was exactly what she was trying to distance herself from.
‘I really do have to make something clear to you,’ she went on. She fiddled with the stem of her wine glass, steeling herself. Why was it so hard to say what she had to say? It wouldn’t be the first time. Usually it never came to this, because men who were keen on her had backed off long before now—frozen out by her lack of response to their overtures—but from time to time she’d had to spell it out with capital letters. This was definitely one of them.
But it wasn’t like any of the earlier times. Because then, she knew, with a hollowing of her insides, it had been no effort at all to say no to what was on offer. Whereas now...
I don’t want to say no to him...
The words were in her head before she could stop them, forcing themselves into her consciousness. For the first time she had finally encountered a man to whom her customary rejection to all males was not easy and effortless to make. For the first time she had encountered a man to whom she did not want to say no.
She wanted to give a completely different answer...an answer that was singing in her blood, that had leapt in her eyes the very first moment she had seen him, that was making her want to do nothing more than let her eyes gaze at him, soak him up. Her nerves were tingling in every limb, her heart was beating that much faster, her breathing was unsteady...
Then harsh reality sounded in her head.
But it’s no good! I have to say no! I have to say no to Rafael Sanguardo. Because I always have to say no.
How could she ever say anything else when that clinging trail of slime still left its fetid trace across her skin...would always do so...?
I can’t escape the past—what I did. And I can never be free of it—never! So what else can I say to any man except no...
And that was exactly what she was going to do now. Make herself do.
‘I have to be completely honest with you,’ she ploughed on. She was looking at him full in the face and he sat back, a veiled look in his eyes. ‘This isn’t personal, I assure you, but it wouldn’t be fair of me to let you think that having dinner like this is in any way...um...well, a date—because it isn’t.’
‘Why not?’ The question cut across her hesitant explication. It was asked with an air of casual curiosity. The veiled look was still in his eyes.
‘Well, because—’ She stopped.
‘Yes?’ One dark eyebrow quirked. He picked up his wine glass, holding it in long fingers but not drinking from it. He looked relaxed, unfazed by what she was saying.
‘Because I just don’t do this stuff, that’s why,’ she said bluntly.
‘Ah, “stuff”,’ he repeated with an air of discovery. ‘That’s very enlightening. Do, please, elaborate.’
She took a breath. ‘Like I said, it isn’t personal, but I’ve made it a rule not to...to... Well, to do what I’m doing now, I guess. Or,’ she added pointedly, ‘anything else!’
‘Such as champagne breakfasts in bed?’
‘Yes!’
Rafael responded ruminatively. ‘Well, I can understand why, if you move in a world populated by the likes of Karl Reiner, you have that rule, and I regard it as
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