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Authors: Adrienne Wilder
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can take for the pain? Anything stronger would be a risk.”
Ellis picked at a spot on his jeans with his thumb. “You never did answer me.”
“About what?”
“Why are you here?”
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do but Jon pushed Ellis’s bangs back. The shaggy length suggested he’d been putting off a haircut for a while. Ellis dropped his shoulders and some of the tension in his features smoothed out.
Why was he here? The only reason Jon could think of was because he had to be. He didn’t know why, but he wanted this man in his life. There was strength in his heart Jon needed. “I guess because I need a friend.”
********
Ellis didn’t think it was possible to hurt so much. He suspected it was more than the cuts and bruises, but his broken pride.
He didn’t even get in a decent punch. Lenny simply put him on the ground and whipped his ass. If Rudy hadn’t honked the horn and customers hadn’t gotten curious, he probably would be in the hospital right now instead of sitting in the bathroom waiting for Jon to bring him a clean shirt.
Jon.
Around Jon everything was louder, brighter, and smelled stronger. And the way Jon looked at him made meeting him in the eye almost impossible.
The phantom heat of Jon’s fingers moved across Ellis’s side.
Jon said he was here because he needed a friend, but the heat in his eyes suggested he wanted more than that. Or maybe Ellis had read too many trashy books and was seeing things that weren’t there.
But what would it be like to have a relationship? It couldn’t last. Someone like Jon would get tired of the life Ellis lived. Who wouldn’t?
Could he do that? Have a fling, knowing it was temporary and he’d be left all alone again? How long would he have to indulge in it? A week? A month? When it was over, could he survive the loss?
More importantly, how would it affect Rudy?
Jon returned with two shirts in his hand. A flannel button up and a t-shirt. He held up the flannel. “I brought this one in case you were chilled.”
Ellis was. Right down to the bone. But the cold was an internal storm spawned from the confusion and fear he experienced whenever Jon was around.
“Thanks.” He took the shirts. “Have you checked on Rudy?”
“Yeah, he’s stuffed on pizza and in his room coloring.”
“I guess I should thank you.”
“For what?”
“For all this. For coming early. For watching over Rudy.”
“It was nothing. And I was just a few minutes early.
“You showed up right after we got here and you weren’t supposed to get here until dinner. That’s not a few minutes. More like hours.”
Jon’s brow furrowed. “I got here at a quarter till five.”
“That’s impossible.”
“I thought you said you didn’t black out.”
“I didn’t.” He was sure he didn’t. But something happened to those hours between getting home and Jon showing up. “What time is it?”
“Quarter till seven.”
The room tipped.
“You okay?” Jon put a hand on Ellis’s shoulder.
“If you got here at five that means I was in here for…three hours?” What if Rudy had turned on the stove or fallen or dropped a glass and walked through it? He was barefoot all the time and never looked where he stepped.
Ellis staggered to his feet. Jon caught him by the elbow. “Easy or you’ll fall.”
“I can’t believe I left him alone that long.”
“Rudy?”
Ellis nodded. “I have to watch him or he gets into things. He forgets. I tell him to stay out of stuff, but he always forgets. And you can’t hide anything from him. He always finds it. Always.”
“He’s fine.”
“But what if he hadn’t been?” Every dangerous scenario ran through Ellis’s head. His stomach rolled.
“Ellis?”
Rudy was his responsibility.
“Ellis, look at me.” Jon cupped Ellis’s chin and forced his head up. His dark brown eyes were filled with worry. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I’m supposed to
Ellis picked at a spot on his jeans with his thumb. “You never did answer me.”
“About what?”
“Why are you here?”
Maybe it was the wrong thing to do but Jon pushed Ellis’s bangs back. The shaggy length suggested he’d been putting off a haircut for a while. Ellis dropped his shoulders and some of the tension in his features smoothed out.
Why was he here? The only reason Jon could think of was because he had to be. He didn’t know why, but he wanted this man in his life. There was strength in his heart Jon needed. “I guess because I need a friend.”
********
Ellis didn’t think it was possible to hurt so much. He suspected it was more than the cuts and bruises, but his broken pride.
He didn’t even get in a decent punch. Lenny simply put him on the ground and whipped his ass. If Rudy hadn’t honked the horn and customers hadn’t gotten curious, he probably would be in the hospital right now instead of sitting in the bathroom waiting for Jon to bring him a clean shirt.
Jon.
Around Jon everything was louder, brighter, and smelled stronger. And the way Jon looked at him made meeting him in the eye almost impossible.
The phantom heat of Jon’s fingers moved across Ellis’s side.
Jon said he was here because he needed a friend, but the heat in his eyes suggested he wanted more than that. Or maybe Ellis had read too many trashy books and was seeing things that weren’t there.
But what would it be like to have a relationship? It couldn’t last. Someone like Jon would get tired of the life Ellis lived. Who wouldn’t?
Could he do that? Have a fling, knowing it was temporary and he’d be left all alone again? How long would he have to indulge in it? A week? A month? When it was over, could he survive the loss?
More importantly, how would it affect Rudy?
Jon returned with two shirts in his hand. A flannel button up and a t-shirt. He held up the flannel. “I brought this one in case you were chilled.”
Ellis was. Right down to the bone. But the cold was an internal storm spawned from the confusion and fear he experienced whenever Jon was around.
“Thanks.” He took the shirts. “Have you checked on Rudy?”
“Yeah, he’s stuffed on pizza and in his room coloring.”
“I guess I should thank you.”
“For what?”
“For all this. For coming early. For watching over Rudy.”
“It was nothing. And I was just a few minutes early.
“You showed up right after we got here and you weren’t supposed to get here until dinner. That’s not a few minutes. More like hours.”
Jon’s brow furrowed. “I got here at a quarter till five.”
“That’s impossible.”
“I thought you said you didn’t black out.”
“I didn’t.” He was sure he didn’t. But something happened to those hours between getting home and Jon showing up. “What time is it?”
“Quarter till seven.”
The room tipped.
“You okay?” Jon put a hand on Ellis’s shoulder.
“If you got here at five that means I was in here for…three hours?” What if Rudy had turned on the stove or fallen or dropped a glass and walked through it? He was barefoot all the time and never looked where he stepped.
Ellis staggered to his feet. Jon caught him by the elbow. “Easy or you’ll fall.”
“I can’t believe I left him alone that long.”
“Rudy?”
Ellis nodded. “I have to watch him or he gets into things. He forgets. I tell him to stay out of stuff, but he always forgets. And you can’t hide anything from him. He always finds it. Always.”
“He’s fine.”
“But what if he hadn’t been?” Every dangerous scenario ran through Ellis’s head. His stomach rolled.
“Ellis?”
Rudy was his responsibility.
“Ellis, look at me.” Jon cupped Ellis’s chin and forced his head up. His dark brown eyes were filled with worry. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t believe I did that.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay. I’m supposed to
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