mermaid, especially, with all the detail. But modern. With all the little pictures. I really, really liked the rocket . . .â
All of a sudden he was looking at me like I was
un cafard.
I shut up, fast, but too late.
âThose are private.â
âRight.â It started, that quiet rushing sound in my ears. The one that would turn into a roar, the Niagara Falls of humiliation.
Something there is that doesnât love . . . doesnât love . . .
âI didnâtââ
âWhat the hell? You went through my stuff?â
It didnât matter that I hadnât, that the papers had fallen out of the book and that it would have been almost impossible not to see them. I canât handle it when people go angry-flat like that, closing up like oysters or freezer doors. It makes me want to curl up and disappear.
âIâm sorry,â I whispered. âI didnât meanââ
âRight. Whatever. I have to go.â
Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry, Iâm sorry, Iâm . . .
It was the worst moment imaginable. Until it got even worse.
âHey, Romeo. Iâve been calling you for, like, five minutes. Did you lose your phone again?â
Amanda Alstead was catwalking down the hall, hips and hair swinging. A half step behind her were, as always, Anna and Hannah. They all glided to a swishy stop next to Alex. I could tell the instant Amanda saw me. Her smile wavered for a nanosecond, then went sharp.
âOh. You. Did you fall down?â she asked, so sweet.
âIâm sitting.â
Someone, either Anna or Hannah, like it mattered, stifled a giggle.
âSitting. Okaaay.â Hannah, angelic in a fuzzy white sweater, looked down her button nose at me. âThings a little . . . challenging for you these days?â
Alexâs feet were still so close that I could have bumped his toes with mine. He didnât say anything. When I darted a glance up, I saw that he wasnât even looking at me. He was staring at the wall. He looked bored.
Amanda tossed her hair back, displaying a column of perfect pale skin. âYou know, if you need to talk about . . . problems, Iâve worked on the school crisis line since freshman year.â
I could almost see the graphic bubble over her evil goddess head:
Knowledge is power, and I know everything.
I couldnât think of a single person I would be less likely to confide in. With the Hannandas of the world, it was no wonder I talked to Edward.
âItâs all completely confidential.â Another hair toss, more perfect skin.
If I decide to use what I hear,
the bubble read
, believe me, I will, and Iâll still come out smelling like a rose.
âIâm fine,â I managed, the two words coming painfully through my tight throat.
âBecause mistakes like drugs and alcohol,â she went on, as if I hadnât spoken, â. . . whatever . . . can have even more damaging consequences than just loss of memory and motor functions. I mean, you can seriously screw up your whole life with a few bad choices.â
Like talking to my boyfriend.
I got it already.
âIâm fine,â I repeated.
âWhatever. Iâm just trying to help.â She exchanged looks with her attendant duo.
What did I expect, trying to be nice to a loser?
âCome on. I hate this hallway. Itâs like something out of a bad horror movie.â
They went, Alex and the Hannandas.
Anna hadnât said a single word. That wasnât surprising. Anna hadnât talked to me in more than two years, since our first day at Willing. That wouldnât be surprising to anyone at the school, either, unless they learned that Annamaria Flavia Lombardi and I had known each other since infancy and had, through our Sacred Heart middle-school years, even been pretty good friends, part of a group of a half-dozen girls who moved as a happy, woolly pack. Even
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