The Feud
said curtly.
    Joyce scowled at her mother. She saw very little of her parents, which suited Joyce just fine. They hadn’t seen eye to eye for years and Joyce would never forgive her mum for forcing her to marry Stanley.
    ‘No, he’s not too good to be true, mother. He’s a respectable gentleman, a lovely chap. In fact, he’s the total opposite of what you made me end up with.’
    Ivy knew when to shut up. There was nothing whatsoever wrong with Stanley. Joyce had always had a high opinion of herself. Acted like Lady Dunabunk, she did, full of her own self-importance.
    ‘Where is everybody?’ Jessica asked.
    Joyce looked at the clock and felt the first stirrings of annoyance. She’d been so wrapped up talking about the wedding, she’d forgotten Stanley had been due back ages ago.
    ‘Christ knows where your father’s got to. He was ready at ten o’clock this morning, had a bath and put his suit straight on, he did. Then he dragged your grandad and Raymond down the bookie’s, said they’d only be half-hour. If he’s in that pub, getting half-sozzled, I’ll bleedin’ well kill the bastard.’
    Jessica felt her heart beating at double its usual pace. She was already nervous about the day ahead and the last thing she needed was her parents at one another’s throats. Please God, not today, she prayed silently.
    * * *
    Stanley Smith stood in the betting shop and watched in dismay as trap six came stone bollock last.
    ‘Stupid fucking mutt, wants putting down,’ he cursed, as he made the short walk back to his local. ‘Give us another three bitters, three whisky chasers, and a lager for Raymond,’ he told Anna, the barmaid.
    Anna smiled. ‘You’re going for it today, Stanley. Who’s that older man you’re with? And why are yous all dressed up?’
    Not in the mood for polite conversation, Stanley mumbled the words, ‘Father-in-law, going to a wedding,’ and walked away.
    Stanley was dreading the day ahead of him. The thought of handing his beautiful daughter over to a bastard like Eddie Mitchell filled him with hatred and anger.
    ‘What’s the time, Stan? Hadn’t we better be getting back soon?’ asked Bill, his father-in-law.
    ‘Mum’ll have her broom out if you’re late,’ Raymond joked.
    ‘It’s OK, we’ve got time to drink these,’ Stan replied confidently.
    Jock, Stan’s best mate, necked his whisky chaser and smiled. ‘Well, did you have any luck with that dog you had the tip on?’
    Stanley shook his head. ‘I think the bastard mutt’s still running. My luck’s fucked at the moment, in every way you could think of.’
    Seconds later, Stanley’s luck got even worse as he spotted an angry-looking Joyce stomping into the pub. ‘Shit, tell her I’ve already left,’ he said, as he threw himself under the table.
    Knowing her husband’s cowardly behaviour of old, Joyce crouched down and immediately found him. ‘Stanley,get up from under that table and get your arse home this minute!’ she screamed.
    Aware of the whole of the pub laughing at him, Stanley crawled out like a naughty schoolboy.
    ‘I’m sorry, Joycie. Me, Ray and Bill lost track of time. We were just gonna –’
    Joyce lifted her umbrella and repeatedly whacked him on the backside. ‘Home, Stanley, now, and I mean now.’
    With Joyce and her brolly on his tail, Stanley ran out of the pub, twice as fast as the mutt he’d lost his money on.
    Eddie stood in Barking register office and glanced at his watch.
    ‘Don’t worry, she will be here,’ his brother Ronny assured him.
    Eddie smiled. Paulie had been his best man at his first wedding to Bev, so he’d felt it only right to even things up by asking Ronny this time round.
    Ronny had been thrilled to be asked. He’d hugged him, with tears in his eyes. ‘I’d be honoured, bruv, fucking honoured.’
    Eddie wiped the palms of his hands on his smart grey suit. ‘Get someone to open that door, I’m sweating me cobs off in here,’ he ordered Ronny.
    ‘She’s arrived.

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