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father should have done! Quit before he even started.”
    â€œI’ll help you in any way I can.”
    â€œThank you,” he gushed. “Bless you. Please, follow me.”
    â€œWhere to?”
    He pointed toward the wall of stone rising up in front of us. “My humble abode. Inside, I have a direct connection to Kroll’s castle. You will help me speak the words I fear I may not be able to say without your assistance.”
    â€œThis is a very noble thing you’re about to do.”
    â€œI know. Quickly then. Let’s get this over with!”
    He led me down a hard-packed footpath to the face of the rocky outcropping and rapped lightly on a crack in the schist. The split widened, creating a slender doorway into the darkness.
    â€œThis way,” said Loki.
    Flickering light illuminated the passageway up ahead as the stone door slid shut behind us.
    â€œFollow me,” said Loki, sounding much cheerier than he had outside.
    We walked down a narrow, lantern-lit tunnel. I had to duck so I didn’t scrape my head against the ceiling. Judging from the pits and dimples scarring the walls, this passageway had been chiseled through the rock with very crude troll tools. It wasn’t much wider than an old-fashioned phone booth.
    â€œUh, where exactly are we?”
    â€œThis is the Stone Palace, given to Lord Lorkus and his descendants as a consolation prize for losing the crown, which, by the way, comes with a very nice castle. I have lived here in gloomy obscurity for decades. First with my father, who took to drowning his sorrows with hogsheads of beer and ale.”
    I could relate.
    â€œNow, in my insulting position as High Commissioner of Sewers and Drainpipes.”
    We stepped into a murky chamber. I couldn’t make out much, but it appeared to be a circular room with a domed ceiling. Loki clapped his hands.
    Torches flared to life.
    A dozen blubbery kabouters encircled us.
    I recognized one: Globbo. The lawn-mowing maniac. A lumpy burlap sack was resting on the ground near his muddy shoes.
    â€œLook what I just found, lads,” Loki proclaimed. “One of the late king’s tiresome spies!”

Chapter 18
    Twelve grubby little men with filthy beards grunted at me with glee.
    â€œWait a second,” I said. “I’m not a spy!”
    â€œI stand corrected,” said Loki. “Miss Van Wyck is not a spy, she is a despicable liar!”
    â€œWhat? You’re the liar!”
    â€œWell, of course I am, dearie. Lying is a prerequisite for any king.”
    â€œWhat? You said you didn’t want to be king.”
    â€œI know. See how good I am at telling fibs?”
    â€œBut …”
    â€œA true leader must possess a certain talent for misleading his subjects, child. When times are bad, he must smile and pretend they are actually good. When there is nothing to fear, he must manufacture a threat to unite his kingdom behind a common, if artificially contrived, cause!” He gestured at my slopped-over ski cap. “Kindly straighten your hat in my home.”
    I ignored his request.
    â€œYou heard him, sister,” snapped Globbo. “Fix your freaking hat!”
    I didn’t budge.
    Loki seethed. Rage roiled up into his cheeks and crinkled the corners of his eyes.
    Then he smiled.
    â€œOf course, a king must also be willing to compromise. Negotiate.” He snapped his fingers.
    Globbo pulled a jagged-edged blade from his belt and stabbed it into the burlap sack nestled near his feet.
    A mountain of gold coins cascaded out.
    â€œThat is for you and your father, Nikki. All of it.”
    â€œWhat for?”
    â€œWell, I suppose your father would use his share to purchase more beer. You could use yours to buy all the things you can’t currently afford. Fashionable clothes. A cell phone. Even a very thick milkshake at the Shake Shack, whenever you want one.”
    â€œNo. I mean, why are you offering me money? What do you