Read Online The Dukes' Christmas Abductions by Doris O'Connor, Raven McAllan - Free Book Online

bollocks chopped off with a rusty pen knife would you say
okay, it’s written?”
    He
moved his hands swiftly to cover his cock and balls and Vicky nodded with
satisfaction.
      “Ha, exactly. Hence if you think I’m going to
lie back, think of England and shell out seven kids like peas popping from a
pod you’ve got another think coming. What do you imagine these are for?” She
upended the supersized box of condoms over his head and threw the now empty box
after them, followed by three tampons and, just because they were handy, her
contact lens case and the wet wipes.
    His
eyes widened as one foil covered condom hit him on the nose, and a tampon
wedged behind his ear. It looked so like a sketch in an anarchical TV program
her parents had raved about, Vicky bit back a giggle.
    “What
in Hades, woman?” His look of rage gave her pause. Vicky took a step away from
him, towards the door. “Ah... I er…” She didn’t get any further. Kit pulled her
back and tipped her chin up.
      “What was that for?” he asked levelly. “Seven
is not excessive. I need some heirs.”
      “Some yes.” She understood that. “Surely not
seven?”
    “Why
not?” He seemed genuinely perplexed. “You’ll have help.”
      Everything was going much too fast. Seven was
six more than she’d ever envisaged having. Grief, she knew enough about either
of her personas to know she was no earth mother.
    “Well,
if you use those,” she waved a condom at him. “I’ll have even more help. And
hopefully less kids.”
    ****
    “Oufft!
What the—”
    “Enough.”
Kit tucked his wife under his arm and dropped her onto the bed before he
followed her and kept her in place by the simple expediency of putting his leg
over her waist. Unfortunately, at the angle he’d landed that put his cock in
line with her cunt.
    Down,
boy, not yet. He willed his wayward pego to behave and concentrate on his
wife.
    Her
cheeks were delicately flushed, her lips were slightly apart, and her skin
slicked with the sheen of arousal. She took a deep breath and he braced himself
for her ire.
    It
didn’t come.
    “You
see that little thing you have in your hand?” she said quietly. “That will
prevent children.”
    He
stared at a tiny square packet made of some material he’d never seen before.
Surely she jested? “How on earth?”
    She
stretched up and plucked it out of his fingers. As Kit watched in amazement she
tugged and the packet fell to bits.
    “See?”
Victoria took out a tiny almost see through… see through what? and shook it.
“Now you put this on and lo and behold no little wrigglies get through and
think aha a nice warm womb to spend some time in. Instead they get caught up
and flushed away, not to live another day.”
    “On
where?” With a bit of luck it would cover his big toe or his thumb, but even he
knew neither digit produced children.
    “On
your cock.”
    Kit
narrowed his eyes. “My cock is not a bantam. That whatever it is wouldn’t even
cover a puppy’s prick and I’m no puppy.”
      Victoria rolled her eyes. She was very good at
conveying so many different emotions in that one small gesture. “Men and their
bits. Take it from me it’s guaranteed to fit. Hot dog eh? From a chipolata to a
Cumberland. Okay neither of those fit the bill.” She chuckled. “Well I don’t
think so. Argh, that sounds as if I’m dissing your attributes and I’m not.
After all who wants a Cumberland in them? A long curly cock’s not much good.”
    What
on earth was she talking about? Kit decided it was high time to wrest the
initiative back from her before she really confused him. He wanted to sink his
cock into her, not discuss its non-human like attributes.
    “My
cock is happy as it is, not squeezed into, well whatever that is.”
    “A
condom. A prophylactic, rubber, Johnny, raincoat, French letter, willy cover,
whatever, take your pick. Birth control other than the slap hazard manner of
pull out and shoot elsewhere.”
      He flicked the