Read Online The Drowning by Valerie Mendes - Free Book Online Page A

day of your life, now, while you’re young, you won’t be able to change your mind. Your body will have done it for you.”
    “ You changed your mind.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “You used to dance. For the last twelve years you’ve been a teacher. At some point in your career, you decided dancing wasn’t for you.”
    Leah pulled Jenna into the chair beside her. “I didn’t. The decision was made for me.”
    “How?”
    Leah grimaced. “I was living in London, dancing the Sugar Plum Fairy in The Nutcracker. It was Christmas. I’d been shopping. I got delayed by the crowds. I was rushing like a maniac to get to the theatre. The lift in my block of flats was on the blink. I stabbed at the button but nothing happened. I was cross and late. I fell down the stairs.”
    “Were you badly—”
    “It could have been worse. I damaged a tendon in my left knee. The pain was excruciating. I was told to ‘rest’for three months, but even when I did, that knee never healed properly. I was thirty-two and I knew I’d given my last professional performance.”
    “I don’t see—”
    “The thing is, I’d given it my best shot. For fourteen years I had the career I loved and wanted. Every dancer dreads physical injury. When and if it happens, you move on to another career path: teaching or choreography or management.”
    “So?” Jenna knew she was being absurd, but something in her wanted to be so rude that it would make Leah leave her alone. “I’m moving on to waiting on tables.”
    Leah flushed. “ Really, Jenna! If you can’t take this seriously, I’m obviously wasting my time.”
    Jenna stood up. “Yes,you are,”she hissed. “ Totally wasting it. When you fell down the stairs, the only person you hurt was yourself. When I fell asleep, I killed my little brother.”
    Leah bent her head. “You didn’t kill Benjie and you know it.”
    “Then you tell me what happened on the beach that afternoon.”
    Leah grabbed her bag. She stood up, looked Jenna in the eyes. “I can’t. Maybe nobody can. Maybe nobody will ever know. But I can tell you one thing.”
    “Which is?”
    “That by ruining your own life, you’re simply making everything a whole lot worse – for yourself and everyone around you.”
    She pushed her way to the door. Jenna followed.
    In a way, I know Leah’s right. But it’s easier to keep her at arm’s length than to let her know how I really feel.
    They stood for a moment in the doorway.
    “When was the last time you danced?”
    “I can’t remember,”Jenna said. “I . . . I go into the studio and I can’t move. I’m rooted to the spot, like a piece of furniture . . . Anyway, there’s no point now, is there? I can stop torturing myself.”
    Leah reached up and kissed Jenna’s cheek. “And I’ll have to respect your decision. This has been very hard for me, Jenn. When you have a star pupil, you want to show the world . . .” She half turned away. “I’ll let you know the results.”
    Jenna’s mind felt cloudy and blank.
    All she could remember was standing together with Benjie in this doorway. What was it he had said? That he was scared of something. Or somebody.
    Of not being able to see properly.
    Where were his glasses when he was found? Has anyone thought to ask? Were they washed into the sea before they winched his body into the sky?
    She echoed Leah. “The results . . . Sorry, Leah. The results of what?”
    “Your Advanced One exam.” Leah turned back to her and frowned. “Don’t tell me you’d forgotten!”
    “No,” Jenna said. “Course I hadn’t.”
    “Are you all right? ” Leah’s worried eyes scanned her face.
    “I’m fine . . . Really.”
    “You’ve lost a lot of weight. Are you eating properly?”
    “Yeah, sure,” Jenna lied. She gave Leah a brief hug. Through the tearoom window, Dad beckoned to her wildly. “Look, people are waiting to be served . . . I must go.”
    They were laying the tables for breakfast a week later.
    Dad said, “Tamsyn’s