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    Mom had gone in to wake my father up when Mr. Kerlin first came to the house, but he hadn’t come out yet, and Mom left the kitchen and went into the bedroom again. I could hear her saying something about Mr. Kerlin’s waiting for him, so I figured he must have been up and almost dressed.
    â€œYou sure are a fine young man.” Mr. Kerlin was speaking to me.
    â€œThank you.”
    â€œMaybe one day you can be the superintendent of a big building, like your father.” Mr. Kerlin put that cigar between his lips and turned it between his fingers.
    â€œMaybe.” He had forgotten about me being a pilot.
    Reuben came out tucking his shirt into his pants. Mr. Kerlin started talking about how he needed him to fix up the rear door, the one that led out to the yard, because he thought someone had tried to break in. I noticed he didn’t smile when he talked to Reuben. Before they left, Mom asked Reuben when he’d be home, and Mr. Kerlin said he would be a while.
    â€œI don’t see how Mr. Kerlin smokes them stinky cigars,” I said after he had left.
    â€œLoren’s mother said that you saw Tyrone today,” Mom said.
    â€œWe saw him down on One hundred forty-first Street.”
    Mom sat down and took a deep breath. “How did he look?” she asked.
    â€œNot too cool,” I said. “That’s probably because he hasn’t been changing his clothes. You know what I mean?”
    â€œYes, I know what you mean.” Mom’s voice got edgy. “Did he say anything about coming home?”
    â€œHe said he’d be by late tonight,” I said.
    â€œIt would have been nice for you to let me know that you saw him,” Mom said. “You knew I was worried about him, didn’t you?”
    â€œYeah, but I didn’t know if I should say anything in case he didn’t come home,” I said. “You’d just be worrying more.”
    Mom took my hand and kissed it, then she pulled me close and hugged me.
    I was right. Ty didn’t come home and he didn’t call. I was awake most of the night, and Mom must have been awake as well. She came to the room twice and looked in, as if she might have missed him. I felt bad for me, but even worse for her.
    When I got up in the morning, Mom was making soft-boiled eggs and toast. She answered good morning when I said it, but she said it low, the way she does when she doesn’t want to talk a lot. I knew she had somethingon her mind, so I just waited for it to come out.
    â€œYou think your brother’s using drugs?” she asked me.
    Mom was holding her tea in front of her face and looking toward the window. She rolled her eyes toward me and asked again.
    â€œI don’t know for sure,” I said, “but I don’t think so.”
    â€œIs that because you don’t see any signs?” she asked. “Or is it just because he’s your brother and you love him so much that…”
    She was crying again and I put my hand on hers. She got out a little smile and took my hand. She was quiet for a long minute, maybe two.
    â€œLord Jesus, give us strength,” she said. “Give us strength.”
    I helped do the dishes and we started downstairs. Mom had to go to the Bronx to take her aunt Mabel to the doctor, and I thought I would go over to Loren’s house. On the way down we met Reuben coming upstairs carrying a brown paper bag. I hadn’t even thought about him not being home.
    â€œCome on up and have some donuts and coffee,” he said. His breath smelled bad. Whiskey.
    Mom told him about having to take Mabel to the doctor, that she had an inner ear infection and was always in danger of falling down. Reuben looked mad. His jaw tightened up and I didn’t know what he was going to do. He told me to come upstairs and have some breakfast with him.
    â€œI’m going to Loren’s house,” I said.
    He grabbed me by the collar and threw me against the