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your good neighbour’s castle?’
    â€˜Not sure, it was just after breakfast, about six hours.’
    â€˜Six hours then,’ said Sergycal.
    â€˜So you just made it all up?’
    â€˜No, my lord. I created the Knights Intolerant for you,’ Sergycal explained. ‘Let us speak plainly, not beat about the peasant as they are doing say. You, my lord, as we both know, are a pretty nasty piece of work and pretty.’
    â€˜Thank you,’ said Mordred.
    â€˜Indeeds. So I was doing thinking an organisation such as the Knights Intolerant would be tailor-made to your special talents. I am also knowing you do feeling, as I indeed doing am, that you should be the rulers of Avalon. So I was doing thinking a thought that an organisation such as this would allowing you to gatherlike-minded souls to aiding you in this quest.’
    â€˜My good Sergycal, you are the best retainer a master could have. No, I declare that you are no longer a mere retainer, from henceforth you shall be my squire and have a retainer of your own,’ said Mordred. ‘Oh, and I’m sorry I killed your two cousins on the road back there.’
    â€˜Oh, think nothing of it, my lord. There’s being plenty more where they came from.’
    This was true. As the party reached the castle four more huge second cousins stood on the drawbridge. When they saw Sergycal, they knelt low before him and fell into the moat.
    â€˜They are beings all like that,’ Sergycal explained. ‘Useless, but if you do laying them on the floor by the door they are first-class top things at keeping the draughts out. They are also very usefully to do standing on when you need to reach for things on the top shelf, though I have to say roast cousin is not as goodly tasty as roast chicken.’
    â€˜In my experience,’ said Mordred, ‘it is probably best to let wild seagulls eat your dead cousins, then eat the seagull.’
    â€˜My lord, you do impressings of me more and more,’ said Sergycal. ‘Who would have guessed one as young as you would do being such a connoisseur of fine food.’
    â€˜He’s right,’ said Captain Shortbread Silver. ‘I can vouch for it. We ate the seagulls that had eaten young Mordred’s parents and right delicious they were, though I must add that the young lordship did vomit an enormous amount.’
    â€˜That was the rough sea, not the seagulls,’ said Mordred, though no one believed him, and as we know, they were right.
    Once inside the castle, they all sat down to a splendid banquet prepared and served by several more of Sergycal’s very large second cousins, who were reputedly women, though it was impossible to be sure except for the one who had shaved her beard off.
    They dined on a small mountain of roast seagulls, who themselves dined on an assortment of dead things, ranging from other seagulls to walruses and tax collectors.
    Sergycal stood up and made a speech, thanking some weird, obscure spirits for the safe return ofMordred. They were to celebrate this day as the first official day of the Knights Intolerant and the start of their quest to rid the world of witches and wizards and anyone else they took a dislike to.
    â€˜Let the world do knowing,’ he ended, ‘that the Knights Intolerant are here and there and everywheres and all shall do the bowings before us or end up in a pie.’
    Everyone cheered, for they did all like pie.

    FAMOUS DRAGONS OF THE WORLD
GERMANY
COUNTESS KRAKEN VON BLIXEN

‘This pie is the best pie I have ever eaten,’ said Princess Floridian.
    Whether this was true or it just seemed like it after being locked up in a prison cell with nothing but turnips, there was no way of telling.
    â€˜Indeed,’ said Rampart. ‘It’s my latest creation, seagull stuffed with turnip that has been marinated in fermented goldfish.’
    Since they had been released from the prison, Princess Floridian and Brassica