Read Online The Doors Of The Universe by Sylvia Engdahl - Free Book Online

yourself. Eventually, yes; we both knew you’d choose it eventually—you’re too much like him not to want awareness of all he went through. But no wish of mine led you to suggest it now, not—not unless you can read my mind.”
    “You do think it may help me, then.”
    “I don’t presume to judge; you’ve taken the decision into your own hands.” At Noren’s look he added, “I guess that sounded sarcastic. Forgive me; I’m slow tonight. As you said, we’re both under strain. I honestly don’t know if it will help you. My thought was—elsewhere.”
    On Lianne, yes, as it should be. “I’d better go,” Noren said.
    As he reached the door, Stefred stood up. “Noren… wait,” he said softly.
    “I’ve already said more than enough I’m sorry for.”
    “You’ve changed your mind?”
    “About the full version of the dreams? No, of course not, but I shouldn’t have bothered you with it. I’ll sign up for the first open time slot on the regular schedule sheet.”
    “They’re not like library recordings. They have to be monitored.”
    “Oh, come on, Stefred—they won’t send me into physical shock or anything. Not at this stage.”
    “I trust not. Nevertheless monitoring’s standard procedure. Does that alter your enthusiasm?” Restlessly, Stefred paced back and forth between the desk and the window, his indecision more evident than ever.
    “What it alters,” said Noren sharply, “is my optimism about how soon my theoretical right of access is going to take effect. You can always give me a medical disqualification, and since you’re the only one in the City qualified to monitor controlled dreaming—”
    “Don’t reproach me for a circumstance I’ve spent the past two nights regretting,” said Stefred wearily. “Just sit down again and listen.”
    Noren sat. “Since I can’t read your mind,” he said, “I think it’s time you told me what’s going on in it.”
    With resignation, as if conceding defeat in some inner battle, Stefred said, “There’s one way I could help Lianne, a way I’ve not let myself consider. If I could use the full recording—”
    “You’d waive the requirement that she can’t know in advance what recantation will lead to?” exclaimed Noren, astonished. Stefred wasn’t one to go by the rule book, but to violate that particular policy would be unthinkable. The key to the succession was that Scholar rank could be attained only by those who did not want it, who most certainly would not accept it as payment for submission to necessary evils. “It would be self-defeating, if you want my opinion,” he went on. “She’ll never recant if she knows what she stands to gain; none of the rest of us would have.”
    “The recording could be re-edited, the secret parts taken out.”
    “If that’s feasible, why haven’t you done it?” asked Noren in bewilderment.
    “Because as you say, I’m the only person in the City qualified to monitor controlled dreaming at all, let alone the form of monitoring used in the editing process.” He met Noren’s eyes for the first time since the dreams had been mentioned. “Did you think I could sit down at a computer console and push keys, as if I were editing a study disc? The computers can’t read thought recordings, you know—they’ve got to be processed by sleeping human minds.”
    Abruptly, Noren understood. “You need a volunteer to work with.”
    “Unfortunately, yes. I’d prefer to take the dreamer’s role myself.”
    “That would be a waste of machine time,” said Noren, keeping his voice light, “consideringthat I’m going through those dreams as soon as possible anyway.”
    “I suppose you are,” Stefred said, his voice low, “and I can’t deny that I’m tempted to take advantage of that. I—I did manipulate you, perhaps. Not purposely, and not by plan, yet I won’t pretend I didn’t know underneath that you’d force my hand if I argued.”
    “You also knew all that argument wasn’t