Read Online The Debutante by Kathleen Tessaro - Free Book Online
Authors: Kathleen Tessaro
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life; that bright, hard sureness about who he was and where he was going. It existed. There was a time when he was first married that he felt in charge of his destiny; young, smart, capable of great things. He had only to conceive of a desire and he could achieve it. It was a wonderful, glorious feeling.
And then Fate intervened. This vast, self-determining power turned on him, without warning, and suddenly the godlike ability to steer his own course in life, free of any lasting obstacles or opposition, evaporated. Worst of all, he no longer possessed an inner compass. He was off, like a man suffering from vertigo. Instead he hesitated, floundered, fell. The tide that had pushed him so firmly towards achievement ebbed and he was compelled, by increments, to accept a life dictated instead by his limitations.
The accident had taken away so much; things that couldn’t be retrieved; pieces of himself that he hadn’t even realised existed until they were gone.
Most of all he missed that grandiose, cocky version of himself, striding boldly into the future. The truth was, he had liked himself for a while, and enjoyed his effect upon life. Now he preferred not to think of himself at all.
He and this old house had something in common: both were frozen in a time they thought would last forever; clinging to the memory of a past that was already faded, already gone.
Turning out the hall light, he climbed the stairs, groping through the darkness to his room.
The Bristol Hotel
Paris
12 August 1926
My dear Irene,
I am sorry, my darling, to have given you such a fright. You must believe me when I say I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble. Anne and I simply wanted a little holiday and to meet with Pinky for a day or two and Madame Galliot took it all the wrong way, as usual. Of course there is no way she would’ve allowed us to go had she’d known, so we simply HAD to come up with a lie — only a little one. We told her we were visiting relatives of Anne’s for the weekend and then, really quite cleverly, composed the nicest little note in shaky old-lady handwriting asking for us to come which Pinky had posted from Monte Carlo the week before. It could only have been Eleanor who told her it wasn’t true. And then of course it all went horribly wrong. I am sorry, as I understand now that the papers picked it up — ‘Peers’ Daughters Go Missing in Monte Carlo’. And before we knew it there was a full-scale search on! All the while we were completely oblivious, wandering around Villefranche with Pinky, eating ice cream.
What devastates is the thought that I’ve caused you harm, my love. Muv has already written a very stern letter, saying my actions have compromised your engagement prospects — can that really be true? Please know that I am silly, and stupid and selfish, but that I would never willingly hurt you — not for all the money in the world! I am too, too crushed! And now Madame Galliot refuses to have either Anne or me and Muv has drafted the Consort’s son, Nick Warburton, to bring me home like some defective goods. So now I’m waiting in the Bristol Hotel for him to arrive, under the beady eye of the concierge. I don’t even know what he looks like so shan’t recognise him and have cried so much my face is swollen and none of the waiters will serve me.
Please forgive me, darling! Please send me one small line to say you are still my sister and are still speaking to me! Surely your lovely Baronet will not abandon you just because you have an idiot in the family.
Oh dear. Some dreadful fat man has just walked in looking cross. That’s probably him. I think I shall cry again.
Yours, in floods,
The Prodigal D
Mrs Williams was not the gentle, grey-haired local woman Cate imagined. Coming downstairs in the morning to put the coffee on, she encountered a buxom bleach-blonde in her sixties, wearing jeans and a form-fitting pink T-shirt with the slogan ‘Big Spender’ spelled out in rhinestones. The
And then Fate intervened. This vast, self-determining power turned on him, without warning, and suddenly the godlike ability to steer his own course in life, free of any lasting obstacles or opposition, evaporated. Worst of all, he no longer possessed an inner compass. He was off, like a man suffering from vertigo. Instead he hesitated, floundered, fell. The tide that had pushed him so firmly towards achievement ebbed and he was compelled, by increments, to accept a life dictated instead by his limitations.
The accident had taken away so much; things that couldn’t be retrieved; pieces of himself that he hadn’t even realised existed until they were gone.
Most of all he missed that grandiose, cocky version of himself, striding boldly into the future. The truth was, he had liked himself for a while, and enjoyed his effect upon life. Now he preferred not to think of himself at all.
He and this old house had something in common: both were frozen in a time they thought would last forever; clinging to the memory of a past that was already faded, already gone.
Turning out the hall light, he climbed the stairs, groping through the darkness to his room.
The Bristol Hotel
Paris
12 August 1926
My dear Irene,
I am sorry, my darling, to have given you such a fright. You must believe me when I say I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble. Anne and I simply wanted a little holiday and to meet with Pinky for a day or two and Madame Galliot took it all the wrong way, as usual. Of course there is no way she would’ve allowed us to go had she’d known, so we simply HAD to come up with a lie — only a little one. We told her we were visiting relatives of Anne’s for the weekend and then, really quite cleverly, composed the nicest little note in shaky old-lady handwriting asking for us to come which Pinky had posted from Monte Carlo the week before. It could only have been Eleanor who told her it wasn’t true. And then of course it all went horribly wrong. I am sorry, as I understand now that the papers picked it up — ‘Peers’ Daughters Go Missing in Monte Carlo’. And before we knew it there was a full-scale search on! All the while we were completely oblivious, wandering around Villefranche with Pinky, eating ice cream.
What devastates is the thought that I’ve caused you harm, my love. Muv has already written a very stern letter, saying my actions have compromised your engagement prospects — can that really be true? Please know that I am silly, and stupid and selfish, but that I would never willingly hurt you — not for all the money in the world! I am too, too crushed! And now Madame Galliot refuses to have either Anne or me and Muv has drafted the Consort’s son, Nick Warburton, to bring me home like some defective goods. So now I’m waiting in the Bristol Hotel for him to arrive, under the beady eye of the concierge. I don’t even know what he looks like so shan’t recognise him and have cried so much my face is swollen and none of the waiters will serve me.
Please forgive me, darling! Please send me one small line to say you are still my sister and are still speaking to me! Surely your lovely Baronet will not abandon you just because you have an idiot in the family.
Oh dear. Some dreadful fat man has just walked in looking cross. That’s probably him. I think I shall cry again.
Yours, in floods,
The Prodigal D
Mrs Williams was not the gentle, grey-haired local woman Cate imagined. Coming downstairs in the morning to put the coffee on, she encountered a buxom bleach-blonde in her sixties, wearing jeans and a form-fitting pink T-shirt with the slogan ‘Big Spender’ spelled out in rhinestones. The
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