The Days of the King

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Authors: Filip Florian
Tags: Fiction, Literary, Humorous, Historical, History, Satire, Europe, Modern, 19th century, Eastern
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Constantinople. He tried a number of times to count the mosques, but would always get mixed up on account of the minarets, with one or more for every place of worship. He visited the all-powerful Abdülaziz twice more, full of gifts and reservations, without confessing his desire to see the bird pavilion or the huge reception hall of the Dolmabahçe Sarayı, with its fifty-six stone columns and its gigantic chandelier, weighing four and a half tons. Following the logic of gestures of goodwill, Carol received a Damascus sword and five Arabian stallions, he was decorated with the Order of Osmania and invited to attend a military parade. During a cold rain, Prince Yusuf, eleven years old, with a reedy voice and two superior officers holding the reins of his horse, presented to him the battalion. The rain began to fall more heavily, allowing the treasurers to dip their quills in their inkpots, put all the expenses down on paper, and tot them up. All in all, and also taking into account bribes, the trip to Istanbul had cost 20,000 ducats, which is to say 240,000 francs. But the price of obtaining the
firman
was much greater, because from that year forward, the one thousand eight hundred and sixty-sixth year since the nativity of Christ, the tribute payable by the Principalities was to increase substantially.
    In the green railroad carriage, on the return journey, Herr Strauss inquired, offhandedly, as if merely to pass the time, whether the cook had heard of a poisonous white-flecked red mushroom,
Fliegenpilz
in German. In Romanian, he discovered, it was called
pălăria şarpelui
(snake's hat). Or
burete şerpesc
(snake mushroom).
Thanks to you, good Otto, who suffered to receive the keys to my house, who fed me and gave me water, who cleansed me of much red blood, who guarded me from the hostile tomcats, praise be to you, O barber, who have comported yourself like an angel and, in your great mercy, have always unbolted this door, and a while after the departure of my beloved master, when for the fifth time the day broke after the night, did once again open the locks and not only bring meat, gristle,
and milk, but also released from your arms as if from under your unseen wings a peerless girl-cat, trembling as though at the beginning of the world and sighing as though at the end of the world, you, O barber, you alone gave me the gift of love, all unawares, when I was hungry, you caused me to shiver and quake, your miracle was real, a maidenly and tender cat, Ritza, as you yourself and other humans call her, Manastamirflorinda by her true name, may you be rewarded, Otto Huer, for your deed, for in fear and wonderment did I approach her at first, her tail stood on end and her back bristled like a hedgehog's, ruddy spots smoldered in her fur, like embers, her scent was more beautiful than fresh fish or pigeons, she gave a start when my nostrils snuffled her, when they imbibed her perfume, I know not why, perhaps out of fear, but I sought to soothe her with my tongue, you understand, O barber, for you have much experience, but that inspection was not to her liking, and I stretched out on the floor, my eyes closed and my ears flattened, at a distance, under the five-drawer dresser, because my wound wracked me once more, the pain shot even from my heart, and know you, dear one, that sometimes time flows briskly and the hours tick merrily, I sensed her breathing between the strokes of the pendulum clock, warm and gentle, like an April breeze, and she, Manastamirflorinda, licked my white ear at length, the ear torn by a cruel and furious tomcat, the ear that you, O benefactor, cleansed with one of my beloved master's potions and stitched with his healing thread, she nestled beside me, the ruddy spots in her fur were glowing, we were silent, then we sang softly, a duet, be not angry, O barber, but never could you have suspected, you would have thought that we cats were purring, but we were singing and we opened our eyes, one

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