I’m not that kind of girl. And actually,” she paused and blushed, “I haven’t been with anyone else all year.”
I opened my mouth, ready to tell her that I needed to be sure, but I stopped myself. I knew she was right. I’ve known Des for over 11 years, and she may have been a lot of things, but she wasn’t someone who slept around. In fact, since we’ve broken up, I wished she would get out there and start dating—and sleeping around. I wished she would somehow move forward with her life.
“ I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. So, what … what are you planning to do?”
“What I’m planning on doing? You mean what we’re planning on doing. Brandon, this isn’t just my child. And in case you’re even considering it, I’m not having an abortion,” she said hotly, her voice was now loud enough for the neighboring tables to hear her. I knew she did that on purpose. She wanted others to hear this part of the conversation. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care what these strangers thought about me.
I was at a loss for words as I tried to process all this. Des was pregnant. I’m going to be a father. How could this have happened? I closed my eyes in agony as dread hit me like a ton of bricks as my thoughts went to the one person I truly cared about, the one person I swore I would never hurt again—Emma.
Chapter Five
Desiree
I watched the agony and fear flash through his eyes, and a part of me felt guilty for breaking this news on him. But I needed to do this. I loved him, and I knew he loved me, even if he didn’t think he did.
I looked over at h im. He looked pale and in shock, and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about her? I felt a stab of jealousy and felt sick to my stomach. I could not bear the idea that I lost the love of my life to that girl. I pushed the thought of them together out of my mind.
I touched the tiny bump on my stomach beneath my dress and I smiled to myself as my thoughts went to Brandon. I pictured our future together, the future I had always imaged for us, the future we have always talked about since we were 16. This was the right thing to do. I just knew it.
“Brandon?” I asked tentatively. I knew I needed to tread lightly.
He looked up from his thoughts. His eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions. He took a sharp intake of breath and shifted in his chair. “Des, I’m not sure what to say right now. I think I need time to digest all this.”
“Will you be there for me at least?” I kept my voice soft.
“Of course, Des. I’ll be there for you and the baby. I’ll own up to my responsibilities here. I’m just in shock right now and need to figure out what this all means.” I could hear the panic in his voice and my heart went out to him.
“Do you want to hear about my plans?” I smiled at him.
“Plans?” He looked confused. “I thought you just said you’re keeping it.”
“Yes, I am. I meant my plans generally. Since I have family here in SF and you’re here …” I paused and looked into his warm, brown eyes—those eyes that I feel in love with so many years ago. “Well, I decided that I’m going to move back to SF. Los Angeles is not a great place to raise a child, and I want the child to be close to you and my family,” I paused before I continued, “Will you help me move?” I braced myself for his answer. After so many years with him in my life, I knew Brandon better than I knew myself. I was pretty sure of his answer, but the anticipation still made me uneasy.
“Moving back? ” I could hear the terror in his voice. “When?”
“Next week,” I said softly.
“When did you decide all this?” His eyes were wild with confusion and shock.
“Actually, just this weekend. After talking to my family about it, I decided that it was the right decision, and I wanted to move now when I’m still able to. Plus, one of my friends just closed on a condo, so she’s going to sign over the lease to her apartment to
I opened my mouth, ready to tell her that I needed to be sure, but I stopped myself. I knew she was right. I’ve known Des for over 11 years, and she may have been a lot of things, but she wasn’t someone who slept around. In fact, since we’ve broken up, I wished she would get out there and start dating—and sleeping around. I wished she would somehow move forward with her life.
“ I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. So, what … what are you planning to do?”
“What I’m planning on doing? You mean what we’re planning on doing. Brandon, this isn’t just my child. And in case you’re even considering it, I’m not having an abortion,” she said hotly, her voice was now loud enough for the neighboring tables to hear her. I knew she did that on purpose. She wanted others to hear this part of the conversation. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care what these strangers thought about me.
I was at a loss for words as I tried to process all this. Des was pregnant. I’m going to be a father. How could this have happened? I closed my eyes in agony as dread hit me like a ton of bricks as my thoughts went to the one person I truly cared about, the one person I swore I would never hurt again—Emma.
Chapter Five
Desiree
I watched the agony and fear flash through his eyes, and a part of me felt guilty for breaking this news on him. But I needed to do this. I loved him, and I knew he loved me, even if he didn’t think he did.
I looked over at h im. He looked pale and in shock, and I wondered what he was thinking. Was he thinking about her? I felt a stab of jealousy and felt sick to my stomach. I could not bear the idea that I lost the love of my life to that girl. I pushed the thought of them together out of my mind.
I touched the tiny bump on my stomach beneath my dress and I smiled to myself as my thoughts went to Brandon. I pictured our future together, the future I had always imaged for us, the future we have always talked about since we were 16. This was the right thing to do. I just knew it.
“Brandon?” I asked tentatively. I knew I needed to tread lightly.
He looked up from his thoughts. His eyes were filled with a mixture of emotions. He took a sharp intake of breath and shifted in his chair. “Des, I’m not sure what to say right now. I think I need time to digest all this.”
“Will you be there for me at least?” I kept my voice soft.
“Of course, Des. I’ll be there for you and the baby. I’ll own up to my responsibilities here. I’m just in shock right now and need to figure out what this all means.” I could hear the panic in his voice and my heart went out to him.
“Do you want to hear about my plans?” I smiled at him.
“Plans?” He looked confused. “I thought you just said you’re keeping it.”
“Yes, I am. I meant my plans generally. Since I have family here in SF and you’re here …” I paused and looked into his warm, brown eyes—those eyes that I feel in love with so many years ago. “Well, I decided that I’m going to move back to SF. Los Angeles is not a great place to raise a child, and I want the child to be close to you and my family,” I paused before I continued, “Will you help me move?” I braced myself for his answer. After so many years with him in my life, I knew Brandon better than I knew myself. I was pretty sure of his answer, but the anticipation still made me uneasy.
“Moving back? ” I could hear the terror in his voice. “When?”
“Next week,” I said softly.
“When did you decide all this?” His eyes were wild with confusion and shock.
“Actually, just this weekend. After talking to my family about it, I decided that it was the right decision, and I wanted to move now when I’m still able to. Plus, one of my friends just closed on a condo, so she’s going to sign over the lease to her apartment to
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