Read Online The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted by Elizabeth Berg - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Elizabeth Berg
Ads: Link
they say together, and her mother is smiling that smile again.
Janey looks out the window while she eats her pie. It tastes wonderful; her mother knows how to keep mince pie from being too sweet. She puts in apples and lemon juice.
She puts in butter and salt. Janey rubs her tongue against 58
t h e d a y i a t e w h a t e v e r i w a n t e d the roof of her mouth to squeeze out all the flavor she can.
She sits up straighter and puts her knees together. Good food makes her do that. Dogs do it, too, begging for a bite.
They sit up very straight and still. Janey takes small bites, so that the pie lasts longer, so that it seems like there is more. She has heard you should chew at least seventeen times, but if you do that, all you’re doing is chewing spit.
Janey has observed that she chews mostly four times and usually begins swallowing at three and a half.
When Janey has finished her pie, she checks the rearview to see if her father is watching. As he is not, she licks the plate. She considers asking if she can have more.
No. She’ll ask later. When they stop for gas. She throws her dirty dishes in the trash bag her mother has put on the floor of the backseat. Janey’s thirsty now, but to make up for asking for more pie later, she won’t ask for a drink now.
She stretches out along the backseat and closes her eyes and thinks of her grandfather, called Bampo, from the first grandchild’s mispronunciation. She’d never tell her parents, but she loves him more than she loves them. He wears cardigan sweaters and suspenders. He makes gravy beyond compare, and he gives Janey mashed potato and gravy sandwiches and eats one right along with her so that she doesn’t look stupid. He slides his lower denture plate out with his tongue, then bites it back in like a snapping turtle. (When he first showed Janey this, she didn’t know his teeth were false, and she thought he was an awfully talented man.)
When Bampo greets you, he shakes your hand really fast in a way that undulates your whole arm and says,
“Howdohowdohowdo!” until you are helpless with laughter. You always laugh around Bampo, he makes everybody laugh. He talks to strangers and they talk back to him. He F u l l C o u n t
59
is the star of the whole extended family. Janey thinks sometimes it must be hard for her grandmother, but her grandmother is a good sport about it. She has her role. She stands in front of Bampo to be the first to welcome those who come to visit. She answers the phone and she makes the coffee and toast in the morning. She cleans the bird-cage and vacuums the rugs, she decorates the bathroom with fluffy pink toilet tank covers and toilet seat covers and rugs. There are also pink ruffled curtains, and a doll wearing a pink crocheted hat and a wide skirt that hides the extra toilet paper. The doll has a pink parasol, which Janey longs for, though she has no idea why—what would she do with such a thing? Her grandmother is the only one allowed to touch the porcelain poodles on the end table, a white poodle dog and two puppies, all linked together with fine gold chain. She sits at the kitchen table with her daughters and talks to them about how to manage husbands and children, and sometimes she reads their fortunes in tea leaves, oh, she can be vibrant in her usefulness.
But Bampo is the star, and he loves Janey the best of all his grandchildren. He lets her sit on his lap no matter what, even if he’s listening to baseball on his transistor radio; he loves his baseball and will not suffer interruptions during a game. Janey does not love baseball except when she’s with him. Then, she listens to the game, too.
She likes when the announcer says, “Annnnd it’s three and two, full count.” Janey likes a full count, because then something is forced to happen—the guy’s safe or he’s not.
There are other reasons Janey knows she’s her grandfather’s favorite. If she gets a cut or a scrape, he’s the one to put on a Band-Aid. If
Janey looks out the window while she eats her pie. It tastes wonderful; her mother knows how to keep mince pie from being too sweet. She puts in apples and lemon juice.
She puts in butter and salt. Janey rubs her tongue against 58
t h e d a y i a t e w h a t e v e r i w a n t e d the roof of her mouth to squeeze out all the flavor she can.
She sits up straighter and puts her knees together. Good food makes her do that. Dogs do it, too, begging for a bite.
They sit up very straight and still. Janey takes small bites, so that the pie lasts longer, so that it seems like there is more. She has heard you should chew at least seventeen times, but if you do that, all you’re doing is chewing spit.
Janey has observed that she chews mostly four times and usually begins swallowing at three and a half.
When Janey has finished her pie, she checks the rearview to see if her father is watching. As he is not, she licks the plate. She considers asking if she can have more.
No. She’ll ask later. When they stop for gas. She throws her dirty dishes in the trash bag her mother has put on the floor of the backseat. Janey’s thirsty now, but to make up for asking for more pie later, she won’t ask for a drink now.
She stretches out along the backseat and closes her eyes and thinks of her grandfather, called Bampo, from the first grandchild’s mispronunciation. She’d never tell her parents, but she loves him more than she loves them. He wears cardigan sweaters and suspenders. He makes gravy beyond compare, and he gives Janey mashed potato and gravy sandwiches and eats one right along with her so that she doesn’t look stupid. He slides his lower denture plate out with his tongue, then bites it back in like a snapping turtle. (When he first showed Janey this, she didn’t know his teeth were false, and she thought he was an awfully talented man.)
When Bampo greets you, he shakes your hand really fast in a way that undulates your whole arm and says,
“Howdohowdohowdo!” until you are helpless with laughter. You always laugh around Bampo, he makes everybody laugh. He talks to strangers and they talk back to him. He F u l l C o u n t
59
is the star of the whole extended family. Janey thinks sometimes it must be hard for her grandmother, but her grandmother is a good sport about it. She has her role. She stands in front of Bampo to be the first to welcome those who come to visit. She answers the phone and she makes the coffee and toast in the morning. She cleans the bird-cage and vacuums the rugs, she decorates the bathroom with fluffy pink toilet tank covers and toilet seat covers and rugs. There are also pink ruffled curtains, and a doll wearing a pink crocheted hat and a wide skirt that hides the extra toilet paper. The doll has a pink parasol, which Janey longs for, though she has no idea why—what would she do with such a thing? Her grandmother is the only one allowed to touch the porcelain poodles on the end table, a white poodle dog and two puppies, all linked together with fine gold chain. She sits at the kitchen table with her daughters and talks to them about how to manage husbands and children, and sometimes she reads their fortunes in tea leaves, oh, she can be vibrant in her usefulness.
But Bampo is the star, and he loves Janey the best of all his grandchildren. He lets her sit on his lap no matter what, even if he’s listening to baseball on his transistor radio; he loves his baseball and will not suffer interruptions during a game. Janey does not love baseball except when she’s with him. Then, she listens to the game, too.
She likes when the announcer says, “Annnnd it’s three and two, full count.” Janey likes a full count, because then something is forced to happen—the guy’s safe or he’s not.
There are other reasons Janey knows she’s her grandfather’s favorite. If she gets a cut or a scrape, he’s the one to put on a Band-Aid. If
Similar Books
