Read Online The Dark Side of the Rainbow by Rita Hogan - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Rita Hogan
Ads: Link
gaze to his niece.
“Does the thought of having children scare you because you’re afraid of taking your life someday? Do you continue to struggle at times, Landon?”
It was difficult for him to say what was in his heart, yet he didn’t want his sister to worry. “I do struggle with the thoughts on occasion.” A flash of concern crossed Natasha’s face. “Please don’t worry; I’ll never go through with it again. You have to believe me,” he pleaded.
Nodding, she pressed further. “Why do you hold back, Landon? I’m not talking about with me, but others. You have much to offer. You would make someone truly happy.”
“I can’t forget.” The reply was simple and haunting.
At the puzzled look on his sister’s face, he shared with her for the first time about Olivia Nelson.
He told her about the moment between Celeste Peters and Shannon Able that had caused his very character to change. Landon described Olivia’s friendship with the awkward girl and the summer he fell in love with the kind and beautiful Olivia Nelson. Then he told Natasha about the conversation he had with Jacob, two weeks before he died.
“Jacob had been right about me. If the roles had been reversed and it had been you, I would have done the same thing. I wasn’t mature enough to accept what he said and prove him wrong. Instead, I let my anger get the best of me.” Unable to look at his sister any longer because of the emotions he felt, he turned his eyes upon his niece. “I lost everything and I have nothing left to give.”
Natasha stood up from the couch and perched herself on the arm of Landon’s chair, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Do you still love Olivia?”
He kept his head down, gazing at Isabella. “Part of me will always love her. I’m forever connected to her in such a tragic way. Part of my love for her is the ache I feel because of the irrevocable pain I have caused her. It’s bonded me to her, in a way that can never fully be severed.”
Touching her brother’s cheek so that he would look at her, she admonished. “I never thought much about it until I had Isabel. I see you with her and I know what you desire. Don’t shortchange yourself because of something you can never undo. You are too gracious for your own good, Landon Gray. I want to meet my own nieces and nephews someday. You know I will bug you about it until I get what I want, don’t you?”
Landon laughed at his sister’s words. She always managed to get what she wanted. Her wants were the good and selfless kind.
* * *
N atasha had seen a flash of hope in her brother’s eyes that day. But four years later, the hope had dimmed and was barely detectable except when he was with her children. Only then did she see a glimmer of it.
Gaston sat beside his wife, reaching for her hand. “You are deep in thought, mon amour.”
A sense of melancholy filled her spirit. She moved to rest her head against her husband’s chest to hear his strong beating heart. The smell of his freshly showered skin filled her senses. With his arms around her, he gently caressed her.
“I have been thinking about the first time we kissed.” She sighed.
Natasha felt Gaston’s hand go still. “And that has made you sad?”
She laughed. “Of course not. Thinking about us has made me sad for Landon. I’ve been worried about him all week. Something hasn’t been right with him since I saw him on Monday. I never told you about a conversation I had with him not too long after Isabella was born. I never knew until then that he had fallen in love with Jacob Nelson’s sister the summer before the accident.”
She told her husband the words Landon had spoken that day.
“His love for Olivia and the pain he feels because of what happened has held him prisoner all these years. He wants very much to be a father and to love someone, but he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy. I almost feel as if he’s punishing himself.”
“That is exactly what he’s doing,
“Does the thought of having children scare you because you’re afraid of taking your life someday? Do you continue to struggle at times, Landon?”
It was difficult for him to say what was in his heart, yet he didn’t want his sister to worry. “I do struggle with the thoughts on occasion.” A flash of concern crossed Natasha’s face. “Please don’t worry; I’ll never go through with it again. You have to believe me,” he pleaded.
Nodding, she pressed further. “Why do you hold back, Landon? I’m not talking about with me, but others. You have much to offer. You would make someone truly happy.”
“I can’t forget.” The reply was simple and haunting.
At the puzzled look on his sister’s face, he shared with her for the first time about Olivia Nelson.
He told her about the moment between Celeste Peters and Shannon Able that had caused his very character to change. Landon described Olivia’s friendship with the awkward girl and the summer he fell in love with the kind and beautiful Olivia Nelson. Then he told Natasha about the conversation he had with Jacob, two weeks before he died.
“Jacob had been right about me. If the roles had been reversed and it had been you, I would have done the same thing. I wasn’t mature enough to accept what he said and prove him wrong. Instead, I let my anger get the best of me.” Unable to look at his sister any longer because of the emotions he felt, he turned his eyes upon his niece. “I lost everything and I have nothing left to give.”
Natasha stood up from the couch and perched herself on the arm of Landon’s chair, placing her hand on his shoulder. “Do you still love Olivia?”
He kept his head down, gazing at Isabella. “Part of me will always love her. I’m forever connected to her in such a tragic way. Part of my love for her is the ache I feel because of the irrevocable pain I have caused her. It’s bonded me to her, in a way that can never fully be severed.”
Touching her brother’s cheek so that he would look at her, she admonished. “I never thought much about it until I had Isabel. I see you with her and I know what you desire. Don’t shortchange yourself because of something you can never undo. You are too gracious for your own good, Landon Gray. I want to meet my own nieces and nephews someday. You know I will bug you about it until I get what I want, don’t you?”
Landon laughed at his sister’s words. She always managed to get what she wanted. Her wants were the good and selfless kind.
* * *
N atasha had seen a flash of hope in her brother’s eyes that day. But four years later, the hope had dimmed and was barely detectable except when he was with her children. Only then did she see a glimmer of it.
Gaston sat beside his wife, reaching for her hand. “You are deep in thought, mon amour.”
A sense of melancholy filled her spirit. She moved to rest her head against her husband’s chest to hear his strong beating heart. The smell of his freshly showered skin filled her senses. With his arms around her, he gently caressed her.
“I have been thinking about the first time we kissed.” She sighed.
Natasha felt Gaston’s hand go still. “And that has made you sad?”
She laughed. “Of course not. Thinking about us has made me sad for Landon. I’ve been worried about him all week. Something hasn’t been right with him since I saw him on Monday. I never told you about a conversation I had with him not too long after Isabella was born. I never knew until then that he had fallen in love with Jacob Nelson’s sister the summer before the accident.”
She told her husband the words Landon had spoken that day.
“His love for Olivia and the pain he feels because of what happened has held him prisoner all these years. He wants very much to be a father and to love someone, but he doesn’t feel like he’s worthy. I almost feel as if he’s punishing himself.”
“That is exactly what he’s doing,
Similar Books
