Read Online The Crimes and Punishments of Miss Payne by Barry Jonsberg - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Barry Jonsberg
Ads: Link
nervous, breathing heavily, and then you told her that you loved her. Is that right?
Calma:
YES! But I didn't tell her I loved her because I love her! I hate her!
Mrs. Mills:
It's often said that love and hate are two sides of the same coin, Calma, that there is very little difference between them. What do you say to that?
Calma:
Yes, I've heard that, Mrs. Mills, and I'd say that it is the single biggest heap of crap ever. It's like saying that there is no difference between heaven and hell, or light and dark, or youth and age, or fish and kangaroos. These things are oppo-sites, Mrs. Mills… well, fish and kangaroos are not exactly opposites, but you know what I mean. Saying that opposite things are really the same is just lazy. And wrong. A philosophy that only the feebleminded could accept. When I saidthat I don't love Miss Payne, I meant that I don't love her. When I said that I hated her, I meant that too. No confusion, no possibility of misinterpretation. I hate her!
Mrs. Mills:
Do you not think that you might be in denial, Calma?
Calma:
Yes, I am in denial. I deny that I love her.
Mrs. Mills:
So you admit that you're in denial. That's a start, Calma. A very promising start. We haven't time right now to continue this discussion. Under normal circumstances, we would remove you from Miss Payne's class immediately, for reasons that you will probably understand. Don't panic. I'm not going to do that. Mainly because we are so understaffed at the moment that there actually isn't another class I could put you into….
Calma:
Please put me into another class, Mrs. Mills!
Mrs. Mills:
I know that you are worried, but you'll just have to be strong, Calma. You have to understand that what you are going through is a very common experience for girls of your age. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn't mean that you are abnormal or anything. Now, back to class with you. We'll probably have a little chat once or twice a week, just to make sure everything is under control, if you know what I mean. You can tell me anything, Calma. Anything at all. And it goes without saying that anything that is said within this room remains entirely confidential. Just between us and these four walls. When you let yourself out, dear, could you tell Rachael Smith to step right on in?
Calma:
Yes, Mrs. Mills.
“Rachael Smith says you're gay, Calma. She says you've got the hots for Miss Payne.”
“Rachael Smith is a lying pig!”
“Calma's got the hots for the Pitbull, Calma's got the hots for the Pitbull….”
Chapter 8
A reflection upon circumstances,
after mature consideration
Bugger.
Chapter 9
The cutting edge of
educational practice
If you want to know the truth, there is one thing that really drives me insane: diaries. I hate them. Now, just before you start to think, “Hang on, has this person only got one oar in the water or what?” I should explain that I don't mean the physical diary itself. I have nothing against someone publishing a whole series of books with blank pages. That's business. I don't even object to people buying them. I mean, it's not my money. In fact, for about sixty years my aunt Gillian has bought me one every Christmas and I've always smiled, thanked her very much and stuck the damn thing in the bin the moment I've had the chance. But it's not the sight, the touch or the smell of a diary that is liable to start me foaming at the mouth. Hey, I'm not unreasonable.
No. What I hate is the way teachers think that diaries are, in some mysterious fashion, the cutting edge of educationalpractice. What is it about diaries that excites them so? Do they really think that by setting a diary entry for homework they are somehow tapping into genuine adolescent interests? That we are all going to go, Wow, that was one really dull lesson, but now that I've got the chance to write a diary entry on it, the adrenaline is really pumping. This is fantastic, inspiring, brilliant … oops, I've wet myself with excitement!?
Calma:
YES! But I didn't tell her I loved her because I love her! I hate her!
Mrs. Mills:
It's often said that love and hate are two sides of the same coin, Calma, that there is very little difference between them. What do you say to that?
Calma:
Yes, I've heard that, Mrs. Mills, and I'd say that it is the single biggest heap of crap ever. It's like saying that there is no difference between heaven and hell, or light and dark, or youth and age, or fish and kangaroos. These things are oppo-sites, Mrs. Mills… well, fish and kangaroos are not exactly opposites, but you know what I mean. Saying that opposite things are really the same is just lazy. And wrong. A philosophy that only the feebleminded could accept. When I saidthat I don't love Miss Payne, I meant that I don't love her. When I said that I hated her, I meant that too. No confusion, no possibility of misinterpretation. I hate her!
Mrs. Mills:
Do you not think that you might be in denial, Calma?
Calma:
Yes, I am in denial. I deny that I love her.
Mrs. Mills:
So you admit that you're in denial. That's a start, Calma. A very promising start. We haven't time right now to continue this discussion. Under normal circumstances, we would remove you from Miss Payne's class immediately, for reasons that you will probably understand. Don't panic. I'm not going to do that. Mainly because we are so understaffed at the moment that there actually isn't another class I could put you into….
Calma:
Please put me into another class, Mrs. Mills!
Mrs. Mills:
I know that you are worried, but you'll just have to be strong, Calma. You have to understand that what you are going through is a very common experience for girls of your age. It's nothing to be ashamed of and it doesn't mean that you are abnormal or anything. Now, back to class with you. We'll probably have a little chat once or twice a week, just to make sure everything is under control, if you know what I mean. You can tell me anything, Calma. Anything at all. And it goes without saying that anything that is said within this room remains entirely confidential. Just between us and these four walls. When you let yourself out, dear, could you tell Rachael Smith to step right on in?
Calma:
Yes, Mrs. Mills.
“Rachael Smith says you're gay, Calma. She says you've got the hots for Miss Payne.”
“Rachael Smith is a lying pig!”
“Calma's got the hots for the Pitbull, Calma's got the hots for the Pitbull….”
Chapter 8
A reflection upon circumstances,
after mature consideration
Bugger.
Chapter 9
The cutting edge of
educational practice
If you want to know the truth, there is one thing that really drives me insane: diaries. I hate them. Now, just before you start to think, “Hang on, has this person only got one oar in the water or what?” I should explain that I don't mean the physical diary itself. I have nothing against someone publishing a whole series of books with blank pages. That's business. I don't even object to people buying them. I mean, it's not my money. In fact, for about sixty years my aunt Gillian has bought me one every Christmas and I've always smiled, thanked her very much and stuck the damn thing in the bin the moment I've had the chance. But it's not the sight, the touch or the smell of a diary that is liable to start me foaming at the mouth. Hey, I'm not unreasonable.
No. What I hate is the way teachers think that diaries are, in some mysterious fashion, the cutting edge of educationalpractice. What is it about diaries that excites them so? Do they really think that by setting a diary entry for homework they are somehow tapping into genuine adolescent interests? That we are all going to go, Wow, that was one really dull lesson, but now that I've got the chance to write a diary entry on it, the adrenaline is really pumping. This is fantastic, inspiring, brilliant … oops, I've wet myself with excitement!?
Similar Books
