Read Online The Crimes and Punishments of Miss Payne by Barry Jonsberg - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Barry Jonsberg
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don't?
Calma:
Why is everything you say a question?
Mrs. Mills:
Do questions worry you, Calma?
Calma:
You see what I mean?
Mrs. Mills:
Why do you think you feel the need to get aggressive when questions are being put to you?
Calma:
I'M NOT GETTING AGGRESSIVE.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you feel upset, Calma?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Let's get back to the original question, shall we? Do you have any idea why you were asked to see me?
Calma:
Well… I could have a guess, I suppose. Anything to do with Miss Payne, by any chance?
Mrs. Mills:
Now, why did you think that?
Calma:
Because… oh, never mind.
Mrs. Mills:
You think about Miss Payne a lot, do you, Calma?
Calma:
No! Well, I mean, yes. But not for the reason you're thinking.
Mrs. Mills:
And what do you think I'm thinking?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Tell me about your home life, Calma. Your father left when you were in Year 6. Is that right?
Calma:
Yes.
Mrs. Mills:
And how do you feel about that?
Calma:
What do you mean how do I feel? How do you think I feel?
Mrs. Mills:
It's not how I think you feel that's important, Calma. It's how
you
think you feel. How do you think you feel?
Calma:
I feel deliriously happy, Mrs. Mills. I haven't stopped laughing since he walked out on us and went to Sydney with the twenty-year-old barmaid from the Blarney Stone Irish pub.
Mrs. Mills:
Is that right, Calma?
Calma:
No, of course it's not right! I was being ironic!
Mrs. Mills:
Do you often hide your true feelings by telling … untruths?
Calma:
It was bloody irony!
Mrs. Mills:
I can see you're getting upset again. Does the mention of your father always get you upset?
Calma:
No.
Mrs. Mills:
Would you say that you are resentful toward men as a result of your childhood experiences?
Calma:
No. I resent my father, that's all. Why are we talking about my father?
Mrs. Mills:
Are you uncomfortable talking about men?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Is your mother a strong woman?
Calma:
Absolutely. Solid steel and enamel. Rusting a bit on the bottom, but that's to be expected. She's not exactly young anymore, let's face it. Well past her warranty.
Mrs. Mills:
What do you mean by that, Calma?
Calma:
My mother is a refrigerator.
Mrs. Mills:
What do you mean, a refrigerator?
Calma:
It's just a joke, Mrs. Mills. I see more of the fridge, that's all. Forget it.
Mrs. Mills:
Your mother works two jobs, doesn't she? I imagine you don't see too much of her. Do you resent that, Calma?
Calma:
I don't know about “resent.” I'd like to see more of her, naturally, but she works hard to provide for me. She's brought me up by herself, doing two jobs and nothing in the way of child support. It's been really hard for her.
Mrs. Mills:
You admire strong women, then?
Calma:
I admire my mother, even if it's at a distance. She's a strong woman. That doesn't mean I admire all strong women.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you think Miss Payne is a strong woman?
Calma:
I'm not convinced she is a woman!
Mrs. Mills:
That is very interesting. Why do you say that?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you often think about Miss Payne's femininity?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
You told Miss Payne that you loved her, didn't you, Calma?
Calma:
No. Yes. No. Well, I did, but I didn't mean it.
Mrs. Mills:
And you followed her to her house, didn't you?
Calma:
No, I didn't follow her. I just knew where she lived, that's all.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you make it a habit to know where your teachers live?
Calma:
No.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you know where any of your other teachers live, Calma?
Calma:
No.
Mrs. Mills:
Miss Payne said that you were behaving strangely when you came to her house. That you were talking in a disjointed fashion, quite out of character with your normal level of sophistication. That you were nervous. Would you say that was an accurate description?
Calma:
I suppose. But I know what you're thinking. I was nervous, but not because I am madly in love with her. I was nervous because …
Mrs. Mills:
Yes?
Calma:
Nothing.
Mrs. Mills:
So you were
Calma:
Why is everything you say a question?
Mrs. Mills:
Do questions worry you, Calma?
Calma:
You see what I mean?
Mrs. Mills:
Why do you think you feel the need to get aggressive when questions are being put to you?
Calma:
I'M NOT GETTING AGGRESSIVE.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you feel upset, Calma?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Let's get back to the original question, shall we? Do you have any idea why you were asked to see me?
Calma:
Well… I could have a guess, I suppose. Anything to do with Miss Payne, by any chance?
Mrs. Mills:
Now, why did you think that?
Calma:
Because… oh, never mind.
Mrs. Mills:
You think about Miss Payne a lot, do you, Calma?
Calma:
No! Well, I mean, yes. But not for the reason you're thinking.
Mrs. Mills:
And what do you think I'm thinking?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Tell me about your home life, Calma. Your father left when you were in Year 6. Is that right?
Calma:
Yes.
Mrs. Mills:
And how do you feel about that?
Calma:
What do you mean how do I feel? How do you think I feel?
Mrs. Mills:
It's not how I think you feel that's important, Calma. It's how
you
think you feel. How do you think you feel?
Calma:
I feel deliriously happy, Mrs. Mills. I haven't stopped laughing since he walked out on us and went to Sydney with the twenty-year-old barmaid from the Blarney Stone Irish pub.
Mrs. Mills:
Is that right, Calma?
Calma:
No, of course it's not right! I was being ironic!
Mrs. Mills:
Do you often hide your true feelings by telling … untruths?
Calma:
It was bloody irony!
Mrs. Mills:
I can see you're getting upset again. Does the mention of your father always get you upset?
Calma:
No.
Mrs. Mills:
Would you say that you are resentful toward men as a result of your childhood experiences?
Calma:
No. I resent my father, that's all. Why are we talking about my father?
Mrs. Mills:
Are you uncomfortable talking about men?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Is your mother a strong woman?
Calma:
Absolutely. Solid steel and enamel. Rusting a bit on the bottom, but that's to be expected. She's not exactly young anymore, let's face it. Well past her warranty.
Mrs. Mills:
What do you mean by that, Calma?
Calma:
My mother is a refrigerator.
Mrs. Mills:
What do you mean, a refrigerator?
Calma:
It's just a joke, Mrs. Mills. I see more of the fridge, that's all. Forget it.
Mrs. Mills:
Your mother works two jobs, doesn't she? I imagine you don't see too much of her. Do you resent that, Calma?
Calma:
I don't know about “resent.” I'd like to see more of her, naturally, but she works hard to provide for me. She's brought me up by herself, doing two jobs and nothing in the way of child support. It's been really hard for her.
Mrs. Mills:
You admire strong women, then?
Calma:
I admire my mother, even if it's at a distance. She's a strong woman. That doesn't mean I admire all strong women.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you think Miss Payne is a strong woman?
Calma:
I'm not convinced she is a woman!
Mrs. Mills:
That is very interesting. Why do you say that?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you often think about Miss Payne's femininity?
Silence.
Mrs. Mills:
You told Miss Payne that you loved her, didn't you, Calma?
Calma:
No. Yes. No. Well, I did, but I didn't mean it.
Mrs. Mills:
And you followed her to her house, didn't you?
Calma:
No, I didn't follow her. I just knew where she lived, that's all.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you make it a habit to know where your teachers live?
Calma:
No.
Mrs. Mills:
Do you know where any of your other teachers live, Calma?
Calma:
No.
Mrs. Mills:
Miss Payne said that you were behaving strangely when you came to her house. That you were talking in a disjointed fashion, quite out of character with your normal level of sophistication. That you were nervous. Would you say that was an accurate description?
Calma:
I suppose. But I know what you're thinking. I was nervous, but not because I am madly in love with her. I was nervous because …
Mrs. Mills:
Yes?
Calma:
Nothing.
Mrs. Mills:
So you were
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