at the end of June or in September. So you do not have to worry.’
‘If I’m out of the hospital in a few days, I’ll be able to read soon.’
‘We will see. We have to find out first about the scar tissue;’ I felt myself frightened again. ‘Will it take long to find out?’
‘A week or two.’
‘I can’t read for two weeks?’
‘We will ask Doctor Snydman when you leave the hospital. But no reading now.’
‘Yes, abba.’
‘Now I have to go,’ my father said. “He put his hat on, folded the newspaper and put it under his arm. He coughed again, briefly this time, and stood up. ‘I have to prepare examinations, and I must finish an article. The journal gave me a deadline.’ He looked down at me and smiled, a little nervously, I thought. He seemed so pale and thin.
‘Please take care of yourself, abba. Don’t get sick.’
‘I will take care of myself. You will rest. And listen to the radio.’
‘Yes, abba.’
He looked at me, and I saw him blink his eyes behind his steelrimmed spectacles. ‘You are not a baby anymore. I hope—’ He broke off. I thought I saw his eyes begin to mist and his lips tremble for a moment.
Billy’s father said something to the boy, and the boy laughed loudly. I saw my father glance at them briefly, then look back at me. Then I saw him turn his head and look at them again. He looked at them a long time. Then he turned back to me. I saw from his face that he knew Billy was blind.
‘I brought you your tefillin and prayer book,’ he said very quietly. His voice was husky, and it trembled. ‘If they tell you it is all right, you should pray with your tefillin. But only if they tell you it is all right and will not be harmful to your head or your eye.’ He stopped for a moment to clear his throat. ‘It is a bad cold, but I will be all right. If you cannot pray with your tefillin, pray anyway. Now I have to go.’ He bent and kissed me on the forehead. As he came close to me, I saw his eyes were red and misty. ‘My baseball player.’ he said, trying to smile. ‘Take care of yourself and rest. I will be back to see you tomorrow.’ He turned and walked quickly away up the aisle, small and thin, but walking with a straight, strong step the way he always walked no matter how he felt. Then he was out of focus and I could no longer see him.
I lay on the pillow and closed my right eye. I found myself crying after a while, and I thought that might be bad for my eye, and I forced myself to stop. I lay still and thought about my eyes. I had always taken them for granted, the way I took for granted all the rest of my body and also my mind. My father had told me many times that health was a gift, but I never really paid much attention to the fact that I was rarely sick or almost never had to go to a doctor. I thought of Billy and Tony Savo. I tried to imagine what my life might be like if I had only one good eye, but I couldn’t. I had just never thought of my eyes before. I had never thought what it might be like to be blind. I felt the wild terror again, and I tried to control it. I lay there a long time, thinking about my eyes.
I heard a stir in the ward, opened my right eye, and saw that Billy’s father had gone. Billy was lying on his pillow with his palms under his head and his elbows jutting outward. His eyes were open and staring at the ceiling. I saw nurses alongside some of the beds, and I realized that everyone was preparing for sleep. I turned my head to look at Mr Savo. He seemed to be asleep. My head was beginning to hurt a little, and my left wrist still felt sore. I lay very still. I saw the nurse come up to my bed and look down at me with a bright smile.
‘Well, now,’ she said. ‘How are we feeling, young man?’
‘My head hurts a little,’ I told her.
‘That’s to be expected.’ She smiled at me. ‘We’ll give you this pill now so you’ll have a fine night’s sleep.’
She went to the night table and filled a glass with water from a
‘If I’m out of the hospital in a few days, I’ll be able to read soon.’
‘We will see. We have to find out first about the scar tissue;’ I felt myself frightened again. ‘Will it take long to find out?’
‘A week or two.’
‘I can’t read for two weeks?’
‘We will ask Doctor Snydman when you leave the hospital. But no reading now.’
‘Yes, abba.’
‘Now I have to go,’ my father said. “He put his hat on, folded the newspaper and put it under his arm. He coughed again, briefly this time, and stood up. ‘I have to prepare examinations, and I must finish an article. The journal gave me a deadline.’ He looked down at me and smiled, a little nervously, I thought. He seemed so pale and thin.
‘Please take care of yourself, abba. Don’t get sick.’
‘I will take care of myself. You will rest. And listen to the radio.’
‘Yes, abba.’
He looked at me, and I saw him blink his eyes behind his steelrimmed spectacles. ‘You are not a baby anymore. I hope—’ He broke off. I thought I saw his eyes begin to mist and his lips tremble for a moment.
Billy’s father said something to the boy, and the boy laughed loudly. I saw my father glance at them briefly, then look back at me. Then I saw him turn his head and look at them again. He looked at them a long time. Then he turned back to me. I saw from his face that he knew Billy was blind.
‘I brought you your tefillin and prayer book,’ he said very quietly. His voice was husky, and it trembled. ‘If they tell you it is all right, you should pray with your tefillin. But only if they tell you it is all right and will not be harmful to your head or your eye.’ He stopped for a moment to clear his throat. ‘It is a bad cold, but I will be all right. If you cannot pray with your tefillin, pray anyway. Now I have to go.’ He bent and kissed me on the forehead. As he came close to me, I saw his eyes were red and misty. ‘My baseball player.’ he said, trying to smile. ‘Take care of yourself and rest. I will be back to see you tomorrow.’ He turned and walked quickly away up the aisle, small and thin, but walking with a straight, strong step the way he always walked no matter how he felt. Then he was out of focus and I could no longer see him.
I lay on the pillow and closed my right eye. I found myself crying after a while, and I thought that might be bad for my eye, and I forced myself to stop. I lay still and thought about my eyes. I had always taken them for granted, the way I took for granted all the rest of my body and also my mind. My father had told me many times that health was a gift, but I never really paid much attention to the fact that I was rarely sick or almost never had to go to a doctor. I thought of Billy and Tony Savo. I tried to imagine what my life might be like if I had only one good eye, but I couldn’t. I had just never thought of my eyes before. I had never thought what it might be like to be blind. I felt the wild terror again, and I tried to control it. I lay there a long time, thinking about my eyes.
I heard a stir in the ward, opened my right eye, and saw that Billy’s father had gone. Billy was lying on his pillow with his palms under his head and his elbows jutting outward. His eyes were open and staring at the ceiling. I saw nurses alongside some of the beds, and I realized that everyone was preparing for sleep. I turned my head to look at Mr Savo. He seemed to be asleep. My head was beginning to hurt a little, and my left wrist still felt sore. I lay very still. I saw the nurse come up to my bed and look down at me with a bright smile.
‘Well, now,’ she said. ‘How are we feeling, young man?’
‘My head hurts a little,’ I told her.
‘That’s to be expected.’ She smiled at me. ‘We’ll give you this pill now so you’ll have a fine night’s sleep.’
She went to the night table and filled a glass with water from a
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