Read Online The Case of the Exploding Brains by Rachel Hamilton - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Rachel Hamilton
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Policeman a chance to catch him.
“Great,” I stop to tell him. “I managed to . . .”
PC Eric covers his ears. “I don’t think I want to hear what you managed to do. Just keep moving. Your sister seems keen to leave and I can’t say I blame her.”
Smokin’ Joe waggles his tongue at Holly. Ugh. Double Ugh. He only stops when Aggressive Policeman slaps a hand on his collar.
“Gotcha, scumbag.”
“Come on, girls,” PC Eric says. “I’ll take you home.”
14
No Nee Nah
“Can we put the siren on?”
“No.”
“Oh go on, PC Eric. Just for a minute? Pleeeeease?”
“Can I save time by explaining that ‘no’ means ‘no’. ‘No’ does not mean ‘if you beg and whine and whinge and wail I’ll make it a
yes’.”
“But—”
“But nothing.” PC Eric checks his mirror and indicates left. “One more word about sirens and you can get out and walk – making all the siren noises you like.”
“No siren,” Holly murmurs sorrowfully.
“No siren,” PC Eric agrees. His words are hard but his eyes are smiling, so I risk another question.
“What will happen to Smokin’ Joe now?”
“I’ve entered his iPod into evidence,” PC Eric replies, changing gear to turn the corner. “So, I imagine they’ll speak to Alexander West and decide how to proceed
after that.”
“Remarkable Student Alexander is a snake,” I say. “You should have seen what he was like in the museum. The police believed everything he said.”
“We need to get to him first,” Holly says.
“I didn’t hear that.” PC Eric puts his foot on the brake as we reach our road.
“We need to scare him into telling us the truth.”
“Definitely didn’t hear that.”
“Dad’s chainsaw’s still in the garage,” Holly adds.
“I’ve suddenly gone completely deaf.” PC Eric pulls into the kerb. “Just don’t do anything stupid. You won’t be able to solve anything if you’re hauled
down to the station.”
“We need a way to intimidate Alexander without getting ourselves into trouble,” Holly tells me as we clamber out of the patrol car.
“We need Porter.” I miss our third head.
“No we don’t.” Holly almost sounds like she means it. “You’re the one with the Sherlock brain. Use it.”
I try to think, but a loud, rhythmic smashing sound on the other side of the street keeps breaking my concentration. “
Tim Berners Lee!
What is that noise?”
“It’s Ma Slater.” Holly giggles. “She’s frying-panning the big tree in her yard.”
“If the tree falls, it’ll crush her house. That woman’s as mad as an armadillo,” I say. “She scares me.”
“She scares everyone.” Holly says. “Oooh . . .”
A metaphorical light bulb appears in the air between us. As one, we march across the road. PC Eric rolls down the car window and calls after us. “Remember. Nothing stupid?”
Okay, this plan definitely comes under ‘stupid’, but it has to be worth a try. We reach the Slaters’ front yard and I look across at Holly. She looks back at me. Ma Slater
spots us while we’re trying to glare each other into speaking first.
“Want some of this?” She waves the frying pan at us.
“Er, no thank you. We just wanted to let you know how Joe’s doing.”
“You seen my boy?” She rests the frying pan against the tree.
I nod, keeping my eyes on the pan. “We know who’s been making him do all these crazy things – a boy called Alexander West.”
“West?” she screeches. “I know his mother – stuck-up old bat. Thinks her toilets smell of roses. Wait till I tell her what I think of that son of hers.” She seizes
the pan and storms down the road, taking a few practice swings at lampposts.
Holly and I jog along behind her.
“We’ve created a monster,” I murmur.
“Nah. She was already a monster,” Holly says. “We’ve just given the monster a mission!”
Ma Slater stops abruptly outside a smart semi-detached house with perfectly pruned trees and a pathway lined with
“Great,” I stop to tell him. “I managed to . . .”
PC Eric covers his ears. “I don’t think I want to hear what you managed to do. Just keep moving. Your sister seems keen to leave and I can’t say I blame her.”
Smokin’ Joe waggles his tongue at Holly. Ugh. Double Ugh. He only stops when Aggressive Policeman slaps a hand on his collar.
“Gotcha, scumbag.”
“Come on, girls,” PC Eric says. “I’ll take you home.”
14
No Nee Nah
“Can we put the siren on?”
“No.”
“Oh go on, PC Eric. Just for a minute? Pleeeeease?”
“Can I save time by explaining that ‘no’ means ‘no’. ‘No’ does not mean ‘if you beg and whine and whinge and wail I’ll make it a
yes’.”
“But—”
“But nothing.” PC Eric checks his mirror and indicates left. “One more word about sirens and you can get out and walk – making all the siren noises you like.”
“No siren,” Holly murmurs sorrowfully.
“No siren,” PC Eric agrees. His words are hard but his eyes are smiling, so I risk another question.
“What will happen to Smokin’ Joe now?”
“I’ve entered his iPod into evidence,” PC Eric replies, changing gear to turn the corner. “So, I imagine they’ll speak to Alexander West and decide how to proceed
after that.”
“Remarkable Student Alexander is a snake,” I say. “You should have seen what he was like in the museum. The police believed everything he said.”
“We need to get to him first,” Holly says.
“I didn’t hear that.” PC Eric puts his foot on the brake as we reach our road.
“We need to scare him into telling us the truth.”
“Definitely didn’t hear that.”
“Dad’s chainsaw’s still in the garage,” Holly adds.
“I’ve suddenly gone completely deaf.” PC Eric pulls into the kerb. “Just don’t do anything stupid. You won’t be able to solve anything if you’re hauled
down to the station.”
“We need a way to intimidate Alexander without getting ourselves into trouble,” Holly tells me as we clamber out of the patrol car.
“We need Porter.” I miss our third head.
“No we don’t.” Holly almost sounds like she means it. “You’re the one with the Sherlock brain. Use it.”
I try to think, but a loud, rhythmic smashing sound on the other side of the street keeps breaking my concentration. “
Tim Berners Lee!
What is that noise?”
“It’s Ma Slater.” Holly giggles. “She’s frying-panning the big tree in her yard.”
“If the tree falls, it’ll crush her house. That woman’s as mad as an armadillo,” I say. “She scares me.”
“She scares everyone.” Holly says. “Oooh . . .”
A metaphorical light bulb appears in the air between us. As one, we march across the road. PC Eric rolls down the car window and calls after us. “Remember. Nothing stupid?”
Okay, this plan definitely comes under ‘stupid’, but it has to be worth a try. We reach the Slaters’ front yard and I look across at Holly. She looks back at me. Ma Slater
spots us while we’re trying to glare each other into speaking first.
“Want some of this?” She waves the frying pan at us.
“Er, no thank you. We just wanted to let you know how Joe’s doing.”
“You seen my boy?” She rests the frying pan against the tree.
I nod, keeping my eyes on the pan. “We know who’s been making him do all these crazy things – a boy called Alexander West.”
“West?” she screeches. “I know his mother – stuck-up old bat. Thinks her toilets smell of roses. Wait till I tell her what I think of that son of hers.” She seizes
the pan and storms down the road, taking a few practice swings at lampposts.
Holly and I jog along behind her.
“We’ve created a monster,” I murmur.
“Nah. She was already a monster,” Holly says. “We’ve just given the monster a mission!”
Ma Slater stops abruptly outside a smart semi-detached house with perfectly pruned trees and a pathway lined with
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