Read Online The Care and Feeding of Stray Vampires by Molly Harper - Free Book Online Page A

offered.
    “You mean the kind that senior citizens fall off of, never to get back up?”
    “Um, yes.”
    “I’m willing to risk standing,” he said blandly.
    We had a full bath on the ground floor, which was good, because despite the bottled blood, Cal seemed too pale and shaky to take another flight of stairs. After covering the windows with foil, I made sure he had fresh towels and waited outside the bathroom door while the water warmed up. I heard the shower curtain sling across the rod.
    A few moments passed, and I heard him call, “I don’t suppose you have soap that doesn’t smell like fruit or flowers or some combination thereof?”
    “Sorry, this is a girlie household. You’re lucky there’s not a Disney princess on the label,” I said, glad that there was a door between us to keep him from seeing my snickering. There was a faint grumbling noise while the shower started up.
    Gigi appeared at the end of the hall, her team bag slung over her shoulder. She was chewing her lip, eyeing the bathroom door like there was an army of evil winged monkeys ready to burst through it.
    Gigi had Wizard of Oz issues.
    “All packed?” I asked.
    “Yeah. Sammi Jo said I could stay at her place for a few days. But I’m not sure about this, Iris. I mean, as cute as he is—in a haggard Lord of the Rings sort of way—you barely know this guy.”
    “Do you mean Gollum or Éomer?” I asked. “Because that’s a pretty wide spectrum of haggard.”
    “Don’t try to distract me,” she accused, pointing her finger at me. “And he defies all hot Tolkien stereotypes. He’s all rough-hewn intensity with a pretty mouth—”
    “You came up with that description awfully quick,” I noted. “And what sort of teenager says ‘rough-hewn’?”
    “You shouldn’t leave those romance novels lying around,” she shot back. “I’m a teenage girl. We mentally tag and categorize attractive male specimens within ten seconds of eye contact. And stop with the distractions. I mean, he’s a vampire . You’ve always told me to be super-cautious around them, and now you’ve invited one to stay? I don’t know if it’s a great idea to leave you alone with him.”
    “So you would rather stay, just in case, so he can kill us both?”
    She glared at me. “Iris! I’m serious!”
    “So am I!” I exclaimed. “Look, I’m sure I’ll be fine. But I think it would be a good idea for you to be elsewherefor a while, just until I have some idea how this is going to pan out.”
    “All right, but I want you to write down this guy’s information and e-mail it to me, so I can offer the police some explanation for why my sister needs to be put on a milk carton.”
    “Nice,” I muttered, smacking her arm.
    “Child abuse!” she cried. Suddenly, she frowned and turned on me. “Is this all a very convincing act put on to get me out of the house so you can spend the weekend humping like deranged howler monkeys?”
    My jaw dropped. “No!”
    “Well, it would be clever of you.”
    “I’m not quite that devious,” I said dryly.
    She kissed my cheek. “I’m going. I’ll call you when I get to Sammi Jo’s.”
    “Hey, Geeg?” I called as she moved away. She turned. “Why would the howler monkeys have to be deranged?”
    She grinned. “If you have to ask …”
    “Get out!” I huffed.
    “Call me every day,” she said as she opened the front door. “So I know you’re alive. Love you!”
    “Love you, too!” I called. The door closed, and I sighed, leaning my head back against the wall.
    “We should never have taught her how to talk,” I mused. “I could have picked up sign language pretty easily …”
    I closed my eyes and thought of the Twix bars I had stashed behind the encyclopedias upstairs. It was better than thinking about the fact that Cal was naked on the other side of the door. Cal happened to have a very nicebody … and it had been about three months since Napoleon had “invaded.”
    A thud from inside the bathroom