menu for supper was always to consist of bread, margarine, jam and cold milk. But there were rules about the bread, margarine and jam.
You could have bread and margarine for supper. You could have bread and jam for supper. But you could NOT have bread AND margarine AND jam together for supper. This little rule did not bother me.
After supper, two different nuns took me to the washing area. They told me to fill a bath and I did not know what they meant. They showed me how to turn on a tap. With two inches of water in the bath, I turned off the tap. The nuns laughed at me. Some of the orphan girls heard the laughter and came to see the fun. They began to tease me. It did not feel nice to be teased about being dirty and not knowing how to fill a bath for myself.
One nun took charge. ‘Get out of here the rest of you, and Sister and I will show Celine what we mean by clean,’ she said. Then they filled the bath full of clean warm water. They asked me to take off all my clothes and get in and sit down in the bath.
As I undressed, I laid my pretty suit on a nearby chair, together with my cream shoes and blue socks. On top of these, I laid my precious brown leather handbag, with my name Celine embossed in gold for everyone to see.
When I was in the bath, the two nuns rolled up the sleeves of their habits. They gave me a cleaning all over that I will never forget to this day. Every piece of flesh that was reachable was scrubbed clean. They used some vile foul-smelling potions on my hair and the rest of my body. When the bath was finished, the nuns wrapped me in a huge towel, and partially dried me off.
As I was rushed out the door of the washing area, between the two nuns, I glanced over my shoulder at the chair that held my jealously guarded special possessions: my pink cardigan, my blue skirt, my cream shoes, my blue socks and my beloved leather handbag. These few items represented all that I owned in the entire world.
I was never to see any of them again.
I asked the nuns where they were many times, but my questions were always dismissed lightly. They disappeared into thin air. I had just learned that if you get an unexpected present and you become attached to it, be careful because it may not be yours to keep for ever. It was a lesson that I was to learn many times in life.
When I was dry, I was given a nightdress to put on. I was then shown to what was to be my bed for the months to come. It was in a dormitory where there were about sixteen beds, lined up in two rows. The nuns smiled at me, as they reassured me about staying at the Mount Orphanage and put me to bed. The bedclothes smelled so clean. As I drew up the covers around my neck, I felt comfortable and warm.
I felt safe.
After such a long, stressful, exhausting day, I quickly fell asleep.
Sometime, in the middle of the night, I was woken up with a jolt. I screamed loudly as something hard hit my entire body. I had no idea where I was. I had felt so safe before I went to sleep, so I could not understand what had happened. I had fallen out of the bed. I had never slept in a single bed before!
I was gradually introduced to the other children in the orphanage and I made some friends for the first time, which helped me. I also met the nuns who were responsible for its efficient, disciplined daily routine. I only met the nuns on a need-to-know basis. On the day of my arrival at the orphanage I had almost felt special but on the days following my introduction, I was let know, in no uncertain terms, that I was not in any way special. I was, in fact, only a small cog in what the nuns perceived to be a large and very important wheel. The nuns actually believed that they were providing an essential and valuable service to the Irish public at large. The public face of the nuns showed that they were providing a caring service, for poor unfortunate children, mainly the product of unscrupulous, unmarried mothers.
The other non-public face of the nuns was the reality that
You could have bread and margarine for supper. You could have bread and jam for supper. But you could NOT have bread AND margarine AND jam together for supper. This little rule did not bother me.
After supper, two different nuns took me to the washing area. They told me to fill a bath and I did not know what they meant. They showed me how to turn on a tap. With two inches of water in the bath, I turned off the tap. The nuns laughed at me. Some of the orphan girls heard the laughter and came to see the fun. They began to tease me. It did not feel nice to be teased about being dirty and not knowing how to fill a bath for myself.
One nun took charge. ‘Get out of here the rest of you, and Sister and I will show Celine what we mean by clean,’ she said. Then they filled the bath full of clean warm water. They asked me to take off all my clothes and get in and sit down in the bath.
As I undressed, I laid my pretty suit on a nearby chair, together with my cream shoes and blue socks. On top of these, I laid my precious brown leather handbag, with my name Celine embossed in gold for everyone to see.
When I was in the bath, the two nuns rolled up the sleeves of their habits. They gave me a cleaning all over that I will never forget to this day. Every piece of flesh that was reachable was scrubbed clean. They used some vile foul-smelling potions on my hair and the rest of my body. When the bath was finished, the nuns wrapped me in a huge towel, and partially dried me off.
As I was rushed out the door of the washing area, between the two nuns, I glanced over my shoulder at the chair that held my jealously guarded special possessions: my pink cardigan, my blue skirt, my cream shoes, my blue socks and my beloved leather handbag. These few items represented all that I owned in the entire world.
I was never to see any of them again.
I asked the nuns where they were many times, but my questions were always dismissed lightly. They disappeared into thin air. I had just learned that if you get an unexpected present and you become attached to it, be careful because it may not be yours to keep for ever. It was a lesson that I was to learn many times in life.
When I was dry, I was given a nightdress to put on. I was then shown to what was to be my bed for the months to come. It was in a dormitory where there were about sixteen beds, lined up in two rows. The nuns smiled at me, as they reassured me about staying at the Mount Orphanage and put me to bed. The bedclothes smelled so clean. As I drew up the covers around my neck, I felt comfortable and warm.
I felt safe.
After such a long, stressful, exhausting day, I quickly fell asleep.
Sometime, in the middle of the night, I was woken up with a jolt. I screamed loudly as something hard hit my entire body. I had no idea where I was. I had felt so safe before I went to sleep, so I could not understand what had happened. I had fallen out of the bed. I had never slept in a single bed before!
I was gradually introduced to the other children in the orphanage and I made some friends for the first time, which helped me. I also met the nuns who were responsible for its efficient, disciplined daily routine. I only met the nuns on a need-to-know basis. On the day of my arrival at the orphanage I had almost felt special but on the days following my introduction, I was let know, in no uncertain terms, that I was not in any way special. I was, in fact, only a small cog in what the nuns perceived to be a large and very important wheel. The nuns actually believed that they were providing an essential and valuable service to the Irish public at large. The public face of the nuns showed that they were providing a caring service, for poor unfortunate children, mainly the product of unscrupulous, unmarried mothers.
The other non-public face of the nuns was the reality that
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