moving as fast as they could. And your little black shoes, they werenât made for runningâwerenât made for escaping.
âThe ribbon in your hair came undone. It looked so cute that morning, but you thought it was probably lost in the brown and gold of the field. You thought he would trample it as he got closer, smashing it into the mud with his desperate stride.
âThen the tree line disappeared as you squinted, running with all your might. The creek was beyond the trees. If you could make it across the creekâ¦just across the creek!
âThatâs when he got close. You leaned forward, because you feared he was grasping for you. But you lost your balance. You fell, and he was on top of you. You could smell him: his acrid breath, the perspiration in his musty clothes. Then you found you had not lost your ribbon after all; it was only tangled in your hair.
âJasper and I drove you away from there, not wanting you to look back at the field. You didnât need to see what was left behind.â I pause and wonder if the girl would cry if she could. She only slept for a day here in the cottage.
Jasper said this was a good place to hide souls while I piece together new bodies for them. Itâs where he hid me. Now this place is the closest thing to feeling like home in the Territory, probably because itâs what I knew first.
When I woke up, I spent a few days listening to Jasper, who came and went at odd hours. The measurement of time became less and less frequent when I found I didnât need to sleep. Itâs only necessary at first to recover from death.
Jasper explained what he could, at least what I could initially digest. Heâd stroke his beard and place his other arm across his substantial belly, recounting his own murder. He also told me about mine, but he never talked about it again unless I asked.
Thatâs why I wonât speak of this girlâs demise anymore. Her murder is now hers and hers alone. What sheâll do with that isnât clear. She has yet to speak let alone react to what Iâve told her. Her mind is still very immature.
If at first she doesnât find her ghost, she might choose to join the Fold and help others find theirs. This is the best I can hope for her if she never finds that fleeting image of herself.
Tonight, itâs just the girl and me, and Iâm restless. Before he left, Jasper said this is just the business weâre in, trying to justify it. That doesnât sit well with me. Thereâs no consolation in what the Fold has asked me to do. Nothing can replace whatâs taken.
Maybe the mental nausea will subside. This girl is my first, and there may be others before I find my ghost, but for now Iâm filled with utter disgust at what I witnessed in the field.
That filthy old manâ¦why did he do it? His motions continue to replay in my mind, and I canât shut them off. Every detail is thereâthe dirt beneath his fingernails, the spittle in the corner of his mouth, the way his face strained and contorted. Iâd vomit if I could.
I thought for sure I could handle it. When Jasper and I first went to seek out a harbingerâthe phantom that told us the girl would dieâI didnât lose my composure. When some of the wanderlings followed us to Graehling Station, their little forms didnât cause me to dwell on the girl. Not until we were in the field did I understand how hard it would be.
Jasper and I looked on and did nothing to stop it. He said we werenât allowed to interfere and looked ready to hold me back once or twice. His burly hands would have met their match that afternoon had I not exercised restraint.
My thoughts return to the girl, and I walk over to kneel beside her. She doesnât shy away, so I hold her hands in mine and say, âIâm so sorry. I wanted to do somethingâ¦to stop him. You didnât deserve this.â
She doesnât respond and looks
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