The Burden of Doubt

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Authors: Angela Dracup
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though,’ Laura pointed out gently. ‘She was a doctor, she of all people must have known.’
    ‘Yes,’ Patel agreed.
    Laura shot Swift a glance.
    ‘Would you like us to leave, sir?’ Swift asked the stricken man. ‘We could talk further later.’
    ‘No.’ His voice sounded as if it was struggling through the slush lying on the pavements outside. ‘Let’s do it now. Get it over.’
    ‘What is it you want to tell us?’ Swift asked gently, watching Patel carefully and following his own intuition.
    ‘Moira and I had been wanting children for several years. She became pregnant three years ago and we were overjoyed. She miscarried at twelve weeks. The same thing happened six months later. And then a year after that.’
    ‘Did she have treatment?’ Laura asked.
    ‘Of course. We went to an ex-colleague of mine in Harley Street.’
    ‘And you kept trying – for a baby?’
    ‘Yes.’ Patel removed his head from his fingers and raised it slightly. ‘We had sex at the appropriate times.’
    Laura felt a raw prickle down her spine. It didn’t sound as though the marriage had been too good, certainly not in the bedroom. Her thoughts veered back to the electric excitement of the touch of Saul’s lips on hers – a man about whom she knew virtually nothing. She took in a breath and pulled herself back to the present.
    ‘How advanced was the pregnancy?’ Patel was asking, speaking slowly and carefully as though afraid his voice might let him down at any moment.
    ‘Twelve weeks.’ Laura could see the pain in the man’s eyes, the hopeless misery. She was on the point of reassuring him, offering an explanation on the lines of Moira’s being hesitant or suspicious about sharing the good the news until she was well past thedanger point of a further miscarriage. She reminded herself that she was a detective constable. That what was required was some comment from Patel himself regarding Moira’s reason for secrecy. Patel’s silence grew.
    ‘She was expecting twins, sir,’ Laura said.
    Patel closed his eyes for a few seconds.
    Glancing at Swift Laura noted that he was still waiting patiently for Patel to speak. When the bereaved man turned his head slightly and sank into gloomy retrospection, Swift got to his feet. Quietly and respectfully, the two officers left Patel to his inner torment.
    ‘Poor guy,’ Laura said, as they walked away from the bereaved man’s office and its heavily charged atmosphere of tragedy.
    Swift nodded agreement. ‘And, of course, we’ll need to grill him further about this pregnancy,’ Swift said, ‘and why she kept it from him.’
    ‘Not Patel’s baby?’ Laura suggested.
    ‘Well, that’s the obvious issue to get to grips with.’
    ‘Who might she have confided in?’
    ‘Who would you have confided in?’
    Laura considered. ‘I’m single. She was married. Patel was the obvious one, or the boyfriend.’
    ‘How about your mother?’
    Laura’s eyes went wide with horror. ‘God, no!’
    ‘Let’s go for the boyfriend theory, then. Maybe it was a colleague.’
    Laura grimaced. ‘Sounds a bit like incest. But yes, a line to follow.’ Privately her mind had begun to fill with the whole issue of pregnancy, and the notion that she could be pregnant herself. Dear God! It was now way too late for any thought of the morning after pill. She’d call at a chemist at the first opportunity and get a pregnancy testing kit. How long before the test was valid? A week? Two? She really had no idea. She had never put herself at risk before. Her palms felt clammy with foreboding.
     
    Patel sat motionless at his desk, staring blankly at the door through which the police officers had passed. Thoughts flickeredin his mind like darting insects. Buzzing, angry insects which scratched at his feelings, grazing and wounding him. Gradually his agitation eased as he reached back into his memory allowing images from the last few brittle, difficult weeks to be temporarily replaced by pictures from a more

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