arriving at Machu Picchu to see the sun rise over the top of it,’ says the man whose name I think is Doug.
‘Yeah, except I really wish I hadn’t drunk so much the night before when I went. I felt as sick as a dog on thatlast stretch of the trail,’ says Ben.
‘Is that the Inca trail?’ asks Sian.
‘Yeah,’ both men reply, nodding sagely as if they’re thousands of miles away back in Peru.
‘I think that’s definitely out for Abi – she hates camping.’
‘Yet you’ve got Glastonbury on the list,’ says Laura, her face wrinkling in confusion.
‘I, er . . .’ All eyes are on me and I begin to stutter. ‘I’m sure I could glampat Glastonbury.’
‘That spoils the fun of it. Trying to find a toilet with the least amount of shit around the side, and having to hear the people in the tent next to yours talking absolute bollocks when you’re trying to sleep is all part of the experience,’ says Doug.
I’m sure the colour must be draining from my face. I hate Portaloos at the best of times, but the thought of using them at amusic festival . . . I’m starting to wonder if I’ve taken on this challenge too lightly. The only thing giving me hope is that my sister goes to Glastonbury, so maybe I’ve got festival-goer genes in me somewhere.
‘You could add clubbing in Ibiza,’ says Sian. ‘That’s something that everyone should do once.’
‘Or trekking in the Himalayas,’ says Tammy, as if she’s competing with Sian.
‘How aboutgoing to see the Northern Lights?’ suggests Giles.
‘Oh, learning to dive,’ adds Doug.
My head’s turning back and forth trying to keep up with the suggestions. I keep trying to get a word in edgeways to protest but the suggestions keep coming.
‘Skydiving over Christ the Redeemer in Rio,’ says Giles.
‘Or climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge,’ says Laura.
‘What about learning to do burlesque dancing?’says Sian, lifting an eyebrow seductively.
The image of me wearing nipple tassels and parading around in my pants flashes through my mind. Whilst I’m sure that would be right up Joseph’s street, I can’t see how I could put that on Facebook without having most people unfriend me for scarring their eyes.
Poor Joseph, his list is taking a bit of a beating. There was me thinking he was all ActionMan, but the others have made the tasks sound more like a Ken doll day out.
‘I think I’ll just stick to what I’ve got, for now,’ I say. ‘I mean, I want it to be achievable as I want to tick off the items as quickly as I can.’
The quicker I can do the list, the quicker I’ll have Joseph back and the less likely he’ll have been snapped up by someone else.
‘If I was doing one of those lists, I’dstart with a bungee jump off the Tees Transporter Bridge,’ says Doug.
‘Oh, I’d be so up for that,’ says Tammy, nodding her head.
‘I’d want to go in one of those planes that simulates zero gravity,’ says Giles.
I’m relieved that Joseph isn’t as adventurous as either of them or I’d be waving goodbye to him once and for all.
I let everyone get lost in their thoughts about what they’d put on theirown bucket lists. The more they think about theirs, the less they’re thinking about mine.
‘Well, Abi, here’s to you. Good luck with your list,’ says Giles, raising his pint.
‘To Abi’s list,’ seconds Sian, raising her Coke.
The rest of the table join in and they all chink my glass before we drink the toast.
I feel a sense of elation that I’ve passed the first test: convincing Sian that thelist was my idea. Now all I need to do is actually start ticking things off, and soon.
Images of the list’s contents flash through my mind like a film montage and I’m wondering what I’ve let myself in for. The lasting image is of me dangling from the Spinnaker Tower, and the flesh on my arms starts to get goosebumps. Now that I’ve told everyone, I can’t back out. I’m doing this list, and gettingJoseph back –
‘Yeah, except I really wish I hadn’t drunk so much the night before when I went. I felt as sick as a dog on thatlast stretch of the trail,’ says Ben.
‘Is that the Inca trail?’ asks Sian.
‘Yeah,’ both men reply, nodding sagely as if they’re thousands of miles away back in Peru.
‘I think that’s definitely out for Abi – she hates camping.’
‘Yet you’ve got Glastonbury on the list,’ says Laura, her face wrinkling in confusion.
‘I, er . . .’ All eyes are on me and I begin to stutter. ‘I’m sure I could glampat Glastonbury.’
‘That spoils the fun of it. Trying to find a toilet with the least amount of shit around the side, and having to hear the people in the tent next to yours talking absolute bollocks when you’re trying to sleep is all part of the experience,’ says Doug.
I’m sure the colour must be draining from my face. I hate Portaloos at the best of times, but the thought of using them at amusic festival . . . I’m starting to wonder if I’ve taken on this challenge too lightly. The only thing giving me hope is that my sister goes to Glastonbury, so maybe I’ve got festival-goer genes in me somewhere.
‘You could add clubbing in Ibiza,’ says Sian. ‘That’s something that everyone should do once.’
‘Or trekking in the Himalayas,’ says Tammy, as if she’s competing with Sian.
‘How aboutgoing to see the Northern Lights?’ suggests Giles.
‘Oh, learning to dive,’ adds Doug.
My head’s turning back and forth trying to keep up with the suggestions. I keep trying to get a word in edgeways to protest but the suggestions keep coming.
‘Skydiving over Christ the Redeemer in Rio,’ says Giles.
‘Or climbing the Sydney Harbour Bridge,’ says Laura.
‘What about learning to do burlesque dancing?’says Sian, lifting an eyebrow seductively.
The image of me wearing nipple tassels and parading around in my pants flashes through my mind. Whilst I’m sure that would be right up Joseph’s street, I can’t see how I could put that on Facebook without having most people unfriend me for scarring their eyes.
Poor Joseph, his list is taking a bit of a beating. There was me thinking he was all ActionMan, but the others have made the tasks sound more like a Ken doll day out.
‘I think I’ll just stick to what I’ve got, for now,’ I say. ‘I mean, I want it to be achievable as I want to tick off the items as quickly as I can.’
The quicker I can do the list, the quicker I’ll have Joseph back and the less likely he’ll have been snapped up by someone else.
‘If I was doing one of those lists, I’dstart with a bungee jump off the Tees Transporter Bridge,’ says Doug.
‘Oh, I’d be so up for that,’ says Tammy, nodding her head.
‘I’d want to go in one of those planes that simulates zero gravity,’ says Giles.
I’m relieved that Joseph isn’t as adventurous as either of them or I’d be waving goodbye to him once and for all.
I let everyone get lost in their thoughts about what they’d put on theirown bucket lists. The more they think about theirs, the less they’re thinking about mine.
‘Well, Abi, here’s to you. Good luck with your list,’ says Giles, raising his pint.
‘To Abi’s list,’ seconds Sian, raising her Coke.
The rest of the table join in and they all chink my glass before we drink the toast.
I feel a sense of elation that I’ve passed the first test: convincing Sian that thelist was my idea. Now all I need to do is actually start ticking things off, and soon.
Images of the list’s contents flash through my mind like a film montage and I’m wondering what I’ve let myself in for. The lasting image is of me dangling from the Spinnaker Tower, and the flesh on my arms starts to get goosebumps. Now that I’ve told everyone, I can’t back out. I’m doing this list, and gettingJoseph back –
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