dining room.
“What did you do today?” Eva asked in her little voice. Esperanza, whom Anna had burdened with a full confession, shot Anna a quick look but said nothing.
Fork in midair, Anna stared. “What did I do?”
Eva raised her eyes. “Yes. What did you do?”
“Don’t ask your mother what she did,” said Esperanza. “It’s none of your business what your mother did.”
Eva looked from one to the other. “Don’t ask her? She’s my mother .”
“That don’t mean nothing,” Esperanza said, and in the silence that fell, for the first time since the big move out West, past and future failed to meet in the present. Separated by a crack lengthening with a low lament down the dinner table, the past stood as a monument to clarity and congruity while the future began to twist and turn darkly upon itself like some shapeless thing come to exact some price. What could Anna say? I feasted on a human body? I sank my hands wrist-deep into a human heart and suffered the same encroachment in return? I traced the outlines of a boy’s dragon with my tongue? I died a thousand deaths so I could come back to life?
“Mom.”
“What?”
“I want to know what you did today.”
Anna looked at Esperanza, whose inspection of the potato was far from over, cleared her lungs, speared her own potato, and said, “I went to the movies.”
“The movies? What did you see?”
“What did I see?”
Eva nodded, her eyes bright.
“I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark .”
“Mom.”
“What?”
“That movie is, like, a hundred years old.”
“It was a retrospective.”
“What’s a retrospective?”
“When they show old things. They’re showing all the Indiana Jones movies.”
Eva’s eyes lit up. “Can I go? I want to go.”
“It was the last one.”
“But that’s the first one.”
“They went backward.”
“Mom.”
“What?”
“You’re lying.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Why would I lie?”
“I don’t know.”
Esperanza put her fork down. “Who’s coming to Sonic?”
“Me!” yelled Eva.
Alone at the dinner table, Anna cradled her forehead with one hand and sat in the pulsating silence of her home, in the whiteness of her empty shell, for a long time before getting up and slowly going to the phone.
“I’ve just lied to Eva for the first time, Mia, a stupid little lie, but a dirty lie nonetheless. After everything the girl’s been through, you’d imagine I’d spare her the indignity, but there you have it. I’m calling because I want your voice mail to record for posterity that I am not going near that boy again. I’m not going to his place, and I’m not having him over. In fact, I’m not having anybody over. Not even you, Mia. If you were to do a Lazarus and come back from the dead or wherever you are, we’d still have to meet for coffee in town.”
And she made good. For days all entreaties went unanswered, access was denied to young and old alike. She switched to herbal tea instead of coffee in the morning, she went to the farmers’ market and purchased a forest of greens that she parceled out to her neighbors the next day. She clipped her toenails and sloughed her feet to avoid further censure from her yoga teacher, who had reluctantly relayed a message from a woman so revolted by Anna’s hooves that she’d quit her practice and left the studio in a rage.
Then Mia called.
“Back from the dead,” said Anna.
“What dead? I was in Brazil.”
“You went to Brazil?”
“You forgot I was going to Brazil?”
“I did. How was Brazil?”
“Full of lovely Brazilians and their lovely children. How’s my angel?”
“Good. She’s running for president of the dog.”
“Tell her she has my vote.”
“I cut my toenails. I sloughed my feet.”
“That should improve your standing for a while.”
Anna smiled. They’d started down the ashtanga yoga path together, Mia progressing smoothly to the end of the first series, Anna cursing her way from injury to injury until
“What did you do today?” Eva asked in her little voice. Esperanza, whom Anna had burdened with a full confession, shot Anna a quick look but said nothing.
Fork in midair, Anna stared. “What did I do?”
Eva raised her eyes. “Yes. What did you do?”
“Don’t ask your mother what she did,” said Esperanza. “It’s none of your business what your mother did.”
Eva looked from one to the other. “Don’t ask her? She’s my mother .”
“That don’t mean nothing,” Esperanza said, and in the silence that fell, for the first time since the big move out West, past and future failed to meet in the present. Separated by a crack lengthening with a low lament down the dinner table, the past stood as a monument to clarity and congruity while the future began to twist and turn darkly upon itself like some shapeless thing come to exact some price. What could Anna say? I feasted on a human body? I sank my hands wrist-deep into a human heart and suffered the same encroachment in return? I traced the outlines of a boy’s dragon with my tongue? I died a thousand deaths so I could come back to life?
“Mom.”
“What?”
“I want to know what you did today.”
Anna looked at Esperanza, whose inspection of the potato was far from over, cleared her lungs, speared her own potato, and said, “I went to the movies.”
“The movies? What did you see?”
“What did I see?”
Eva nodded, her eyes bright.
“I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark .”
“Mom.”
“What?”
“That movie is, like, a hundred years old.”
“It was a retrospective.”
“What’s a retrospective?”
“When they show old things. They’re showing all the Indiana Jones movies.”
Eva’s eyes lit up. “Can I go? I want to go.”
“It was the last one.”
“But that’s the first one.”
“They went backward.”
“Mom.”
“What?”
“You’re lying.”
“Me?”
“Yes.”
“Why would I lie?”
“I don’t know.”
Esperanza put her fork down. “Who’s coming to Sonic?”
“Me!” yelled Eva.
Alone at the dinner table, Anna cradled her forehead with one hand and sat in the pulsating silence of her home, in the whiteness of her empty shell, for a long time before getting up and slowly going to the phone.
“I’ve just lied to Eva for the first time, Mia, a stupid little lie, but a dirty lie nonetheless. After everything the girl’s been through, you’d imagine I’d spare her the indignity, but there you have it. I’m calling because I want your voice mail to record for posterity that I am not going near that boy again. I’m not going to his place, and I’m not having him over. In fact, I’m not having anybody over. Not even you, Mia. If you were to do a Lazarus and come back from the dead or wherever you are, we’d still have to meet for coffee in town.”
And she made good. For days all entreaties went unanswered, access was denied to young and old alike. She switched to herbal tea instead of coffee in the morning, she went to the farmers’ market and purchased a forest of greens that she parceled out to her neighbors the next day. She clipped her toenails and sloughed her feet to avoid further censure from her yoga teacher, who had reluctantly relayed a message from a woman so revolted by Anna’s hooves that she’d quit her practice and left the studio in a rage.
Then Mia called.
“Back from the dead,” said Anna.
“What dead? I was in Brazil.”
“You went to Brazil?”
“You forgot I was going to Brazil?”
“I did. How was Brazil?”
“Full of lovely Brazilians and their lovely children. How’s my angel?”
“Good. She’s running for president of the dog.”
“Tell her she has my vote.”
“I cut my toenails. I sloughed my feet.”
“That should improve your standing for a while.”
Anna smiled. They’d started down the ashtanga yoga path together, Mia progressing smoothly to the end of the first series, Anna cursing her way from injury to injury until
Similar Books
