want to have a calling/not-calling thing going on between us.”
“Okay. I won’t say it. But Roo?” He was halfway out the car door, silhouetted by a streetlamp.
“What?”
“You can call me .”
Levels of Boyfriends
1. Friend-Boy. The two of you are just friends.
2. Friend-Boy plus Unwanted Crush. You are just friends, but you can tell he likes you. It is highly annoying.
3. Friend-Boy plus Crush. You have a crush on him, but you’re just friends. Sigh. (Note: You are probably being highly annoying.)
4. Hopeless Crush. You long for him from afar. He doesn’t know you exist.
5. Friend-Boy plus Mutual Attraction. You are just friends, but maybe there is something more in the air.
6. Flirtation. But you are not friends.
7. Scamming Mate. You fool around, but you don’t hang out. Ever.
8. Friends with Benefits. You fool around, and you do hang out, but you are not going out.
9. Boyfriend. You are going out!
10. Serious Boyfriend. You can see a future. The two of you are getting horizontal on a regular basis. You borrow his T-shirts.
—written in my handwriting, with some additions by Kim. Approximate date: September of sophomore year.
w hen I got home from being with Angelo, my parents were asleep in front of the television. I went straight to my room, dug out The Boy Book and read all our old entries. Because I had no one to talk to.
I remembered holing up with Kim, lying on our stomachs on her big double bed, writing and laughing. And the time we brought The Boy Book over to Cricket’s house, and Nora made chocolate chip cookies, and I burned my hand taking them out of the oven, then had to dictate my contributions to the book because my fingers were too sore to hold a pen. And the time Cricket had the weird interaction with Billy Alexander and demanded that I bring the book to school so she could add an entry the next morning. And when Kim left it out on my parents’ coffee table, and my dad was just picking it up to look at it when we came back in the room, and we grabbed it and ran away squealing.
I fell asleep with my face on the page dedicated to Levels of Boyfriends. I drooled a little and smudged the ink. At two a.m., I woke up, brushed my teeth and changed into pajamas, then went back to bed.
So Angelo. He was, at that moment, an SM. Scamming Mate. Possibly to be elevated to Friend with Benefits, possibly to be elevated to Boyfriend. Or possibly not.
It might be too strained, with our parents being friends. Or too weird, with our lives being so different. Hanging out with him had never been easy, the way it was with Jackson (my only real boyfriend, ever). Angelo and I usually watched TV for a bit and then ate dinner while tolerating boring grown-up conversation. I didn’t even know that much about him, besides that he was a summer camp counselor, and liked reality TV, and was an expert in the boob-groping department.
I had been to his house a million times and had never seen his room.
So Noel. What was he?
Because I had to admit, we were flirting. Or at least, I felt something very close to disappointment when he didn’t kiss me and used his asthma puffer instead.
Maybe he was FBMA, Friend-Boy plus Mutual Attraction. Or maybe FBC, Friend-Boy plus Crush. Me with a crush on him. Or maybe just a Friend-Boy.
It didn’t feel like the crushes I’d had before, when I I had radar and could sense where the guy was from across a crowded room. Like when I had that crush on Nora’s brother, Gideon, and I felt like I was always saying the wrong thing when I talked to him, and wondered what to wear every morning in case he suddenly noticed me.
But I did think about Noel a lot. I tried to think of ways to amuse him. And I appreciated the way he walked, like his limbs were put together loosely.
I noticed things in Noel that I didn’t notice about guys who didn’t interest me.
So Jackson. We didn’t include ex-boyfriends on the list of levels. What can I say? We were
“Okay. I won’t say it. But Roo?” He was halfway out the car door, silhouetted by a streetlamp.
“What?”
“You can call me .”
Levels of Boyfriends
1. Friend-Boy. The two of you are just friends.
2. Friend-Boy plus Unwanted Crush. You are just friends, but you can tell he likes you. It is highly annoying.
3. Friend-Boy plus Crush. You have a crush on him, but you’re just friends. Sigh. (Note: You are probably being highly annoying.)
4. Hopeless Crush. You long for him from afar. He doesn’t know you exist.
5. Friend-Boy plus Mutual Attraction. You are just friends, but maybe there is something more in the air.
6. Flirtation. But you are not friends.
7. Scamming Mate. You fool around, but you don’t hang out. Ever.
8. Friends with Benefits. You fool around, and you do hang out, but you are not going out.
9. Boyfriend. You are going out!
10. Serious Boyfriend. You can see a future. The two of you are getting horizontal on a regular basis. You borrow his T-shirts.
—written in my handwriting, with some additions by Kim. Approximate date: September of sophomore year.
w hen I got home from being with Angelo, my parents were asleep in front of the television. I went straight to my room, dug out The Boy Book and read all our old entries. Because I had no one to talk to.
I remembered holing up with Kim, lying on our stomachs on her big double bed, writing and laughing. And the time we brought The Boy Book over to Cricket’s house, and Nora made chocolate chip cookies, and I burned my hand taking them out of the oven, then had to dictate my contributions to the book because my fingers were too sore to hold a pen. And the time Cricket had the weird interaction with Billy Alexander and demanded that I bring the book to school so she could add an entry the next morning. And when Kim left it out on my parents’ coffee table, and my dad was just picking it up to look at it when we came back in the room, and we grabbed it and ran away squealing.
I fell asleep with my face on the page dedicated to Levels of Boyfriends. I drooled a little and smudged the ink. At two a.m., I woke up, brushed my teeth and changed into pajamas, then went back to bed.
So Angelo. He was, at that moment, an SM. Scamming Mate. Possibly to be elevated to Friend with Benefits, possibly to be elevated to Boyfriend. Or possibly not.
It might be too strained, with our parents being friends. Or too weird, with our lives being so different. Hanging out with him had never been easy, the way it was with Jackson (my only real boyfriend, ever). Angelo and I usually watched TV for a bit and then ate dinner while tolerating boring grown-up conversation. I didn’t even know that much about him, besides that he was a summer camp counselor, and liked reality TV, and was an expert in the boob-groping department.
I had been to his house a million times and had never seen his room.
So Noel. What was he?
Because I had to admit, we were flirting. Or at least, I felt something very close to disappointment when he didn’t kiss me and used his asthma puffer instead.
Maybe he was FBMA, Friend-Boy plus Mutual Attraction. Or maybe FBC, Friend-Boy plus Crush. Me with a crush on him. Or maybe just a Friend-Boy.
It didn’t feel like the crushes I’d had before, when I I had radar and could sense where the guy was from across a crowded room. Like when I had that crush on Nora’s brother, Gideon, and I felt like I was always saying the wrong thing when I talked to him, and wondered what to wear every morning in case he suddenly noticed me.
But I did think about Noel a lot. I tried to think of ways to amuse him. And I appreciated the way he walked, like his limbs were put together loosely.
I noticed things in Noel that I didn’t notice about guys who didn’t interest me.
So Jackson. We didn’t include ex-boyfriends on the list of levels. What can I say? We were
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