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Authors: Neil Pasricha
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thatâs good. Maybe when your wife nonchalantly blasts one while barbecuing on the balcony, thatâs good.
And maybe itâs especially good when everyone laughs afterward.
Because hey, it just means weâre comfortable being ourselves and relaxed enough to know farting is a natural and normal part of life. Nobody chooses farting as a hobby but itâs part of what makes us human. Tuba scales, silent stink bombs , machine-gun blasts, whatever youâre putting out there, thatâs fine, thatâs fine, thatâs perfectly fine.
Now, weâre not advocating a world of no limits . Thereâs nothing wrong with keeping some personal space either. After all, maybe you do your nose picking in the car, shower behind a curtain at the gym, or burp quietly into a fancy cloth napkin. If so, thatâs cool too.
All weâre saying is that if you get to the point where youâre comfortable farting around each other, it means youâre family, youâre friends, or youâre completely in love .
So just relax and let it out.
AWESOME!
Walking into class and seeing a substitute teacher
Postpone the pop quiz, lose the science lab , ax the algebra lesson.
Nowâs the time when energy bolts blast through brains as everybody revs up for forty-five minutes of whispering, passing notes , and tossing paper airplanes.
AWESOME!
Fully justifying whatever terrible thing youâre eating
Let the grease glisten, mayo drip , and soda fizz.
Here are three ways to make the magic happen:
1. Veggie Validation. My friend Mike is king of this move. âGotta get my greens,â heâll say, while chomping dill pickles on the couch playing video games. âCarrots are good for you,â heâll smirk, while licking thick cream cheese icing off a moist brick of carrot cake. Remember: Anything with vegetables in it fully qualifies as potentially healthy. Now go relax and enjoy a slice of pumpkin pie with a side of onion rings.
2. Dumbbell Defense. On the rare mornings I venture to the gym for a half-dozen sit-ups and some stretching in sweatpants, I always end up eating a tipsy mountain of nachos for dinner later in the day. âNo worries,â Iâll think with cheese-greasy fingers and salsa dripping down my chin. âI totally worked this off already.â
3. Vacation Breakinâ. When you go on holidays itâs fun to free your stomach from the shackles of the kitchen. Slip into shades and shorts and start breaking the rules in the slow lane. Remember: Getting away from it all means putting your feet up and having a third sundae.
Yes, fully justifying whatever terrible thing youâre eating is a beautiful eyes-wide moment of taste-based wonder. Itâs great ditching the guilt once in a while to enjoy a crispyskinned wiener on the sidewalk or a drippy Quarter Pounder after the bars on Friday night.
People, we ainât spinning on this rock too long, so letâs all remember to relax and just enjoy the extra scoop.
AWESOME!
When you get the scissors at that perfect angle where it slices through wrapping paper with no effort from you
Iâm a terrible gift wrapper.
Yes, Iâm the guy who cuts off too much paper, overtapes the ends , and realizes when I think Iâm done that the corner of the present is still visible so Iâve got to add random patches of paper from rogue scraps off the floor.
Iâm a sharp-n-sticky, tape-n-scissors disaster sitting in a hunched-over clump on the family room carpet with squashed bows and twisted ribbons scattered all around me.
Honestly, the only time Iâm on top of my game is when I manage to snip my scissors into the paper at that perfect angle where it just glides across the sheet in one beautiful sweeping slice.
Thatâs when I suddenly ditch my incompetence for a beautifully brief moment of gift-wrapping
AWESOME!
Becoming a regular somewhere
Come on in.
We all know that being a regular doesnât
And maybe itâs especially good when everyone laughs afterward.
Because hey, it just means weâre comfortable being ourselves and relaxed enough to know farting is a natural and normal part of life. Nobody chooses farting as a hobby but itâs part of what makes us human. Tuba scales, silent stink bombs , machine-gun blasts, whatever youâre putting out there, thatâs fine, thatâs fine, thatâs perfectly fine.
Now, weâre not advocating a world of no limits . Thereâs nothing wrong with keeping some personal space either. After all, maybe you do your nose picking in the car, shower behind a curtain at the gym, or burp quietly into a fancy cloth napkin. If so, thatâs cool too.
All weâre saying is that if you get to the point where youâre comfortable farting around each other, it means youâre family, youâre friends, or youâre completely in love .
So just relax and let it out.
AWESOME!
Walking into class and seeing a substitute teacher
Postpone the pop quiz, lose the science lab , ax the algebra lesson.
Nowâs the time when energy bolts blast through brains as everybody revs up for forty-five minutes of whispering, passing notes , and tossing paper airplanes.
AWESOME!
Fully justifying whatever terrible thing youâre eating
Let the grease glisten, mayo drip , and soda fizz.
Here are three ways to make the magic happen:
1. Veggie Validation. My friend Mike is king of this move. âGotta get my greens,â heâll say, while chomping dill pickles on the couch playing video games. âCarrots are good for you,â heâll smirk, while licking thick cream cheese icing off a moist brick of carrot cake. Remember: Anything with vegetables in it fully qualifies as potentially healthy. Now go relax and enjoy a slice of pumpkin pie with a side of onion rings.
2. Dumbbell Defense. On the rare mornings I venture to the gym for a half-dozen sit-ups and some stretching in sweatpants, I always end up eating a tipsy mountain of nachos for dinner later in the day. âNo worries,â Iâll think with cheese-greasy fingers and salsa dripping down my chin. âI totally worked this off already.â
3. Vacation Breakinâ. When you go on holidays itâs fun to free your stomach from the shackles of the kitchen. Slip into shades and shorts and start breaking the rules in the slow lane. Remember: Getting away from it all means putting your feet up and having a third sundae.
Yes, fully justifying whatever terrible thing youâre eating is a beautiful eyes-wide moment of taste-based wonder. Itâs great ditching the guilt once in a while to enjoy a crispyskinned wiener on the sidewalk or a drippy Quarter Pounder after the bars on Friday night.
People, we ainât spinning on this rock too long, so letâs all remember to relax and just enjoy the extra scoop.
AWESOME!
When you get the scissors at that perfect angle where it slices through wrapping paper with no effort from you
Iâm a terrible gift wrapper.
Yes, Iâm the guy who cuts off too much paper, overtapes the ends , and realizes when I think Iâm done that the corner of the present is still visible so Iâve got to add random patches of paper from rogue scraps off the floor.
Iâm a sharp-n-sticky, tape-n-scissors disaster sitting in a hunched-over clump on the family room carpet with squashed bows and twisted ribbons scattered all around me.
Honestly, the only time Iâm on top of my game is when I manage to snip my scissors into the paper at that perfect angle where it just glides across the sheet in one beautiful sweeping slice.
Thatâs when I suddenly ditch my incompetence for a beautifully brief moment of gift-wrapping
AWESOME!
Becoming a regular somewhere
Come on in.
We all know that being a regular doesnât
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