Read Online The Book of Awesome by Neil Pasricha - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Neil Pasricha
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years ago?
• Stage 4: The Fountain of Youth. After a while, the gray hairs add up and you start buying white wine for the backyard barbecue instead of lollipop-flavored vodka coolers for the all-night rager. You know your way around the store, you smile warmly at the clerk, and suddenly you get asked for your ID when you least expect it.
Oh baby, when it hasn’t happened in years, getting your ID checked can be a full body buzz . You fish out your card excitedly, peeling its faded face and dog-eared corners from your bag, and your eyes twinkle as you take a sip from the fountain of youth.
Sometimes it even happens on your birthday.
AWESOME!
The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk
There’s just something about the smell of rain on a hot sidewalk. It’s sort of like the rain cleans the air—completely hammering all the dirt and grime particles down to the ground and releasing some hot baked-in chemicals from the pavement. It smells best if it hasn’t rained in a while and the sidewalk is scalding hot. Then it sort of sizzles and steams up into a big, hot, intoxicating whiff.
AWESOME!
That friendly nod between strangers out doing the same thing
Gliding down the bike path on a Saturday morning, you whip by somebody peddling in the opposite direction and give each other a nod. For a moment it’s like “Hey, we’re both doing the same thing. Let’s be friends for a second.”
Also applies to seeing someone driving the same car as you, walking their dog past you on Sunday morning, or squeezing the melon beside you in the grocery store.
AWESOME!
Really, really old Tupperware
Found in dusty kitchen cupboards and dishwasher top shelves across this wide, great land, really, really old Tupperware is as handy today as it was twenty, thirty, forty years ago. That famous Tupperware burping seal still holds strong, and you can bet that banana bread will stay moist, those celery sticks crisp, and that leftover lasagna fresh. Yes, all is well in this tight vacuum-sealed Chamber of Taste Preservation .
Really, really old Tupperware is mostly found in three colors: Stovetop Green, Traffic Cone Orange , or The Core Of The Sun Yellow. Optional features include novelty 1950s floral patterns or deep tomato stains from that time someone put chili in there and shoved it in the back of the freezer for two years.
One thing I enjoy doing is thinking about all the different kinds of food a particular piece of Tupperware has Tupperwared shut over the years. Apparently Tupperware has been around since 1946, so we’re talking about the full tastebud time line—from lard burgers, creamed-corn casseroles, and Jell-O salads to hemp brownies, parsley soup, and tofu cookies to pizza pockets, TV dinner leftovers, and astronaut ice cream pellets.
Really, really old Tupperware has been there, sealed that, and lived to tell the tale. It’s a throwback to the simpler life, when things like airtight seals meant something. Something real. Something honest.
Something worth believing in.
AWESOME!
Getting gas just before the price goes up
Here’s how it all goes down.
Well-dressed fat cats sit around a dark, mahogany table in the boardroom of a nondescript high-rise deep in a dense metropolis on the coast of an exotic country. Anonymous and alone, they sip scotch, share pictures of new yachts, and make plans to jack gas prices for the long weekend.
Cuff links clinking on crystal glasses, celebratory cigar smoke filling the room, the gas execs laugh deep belly laughs, high ten each other, and then file into limos to take them back to the airport. And of course, just before they leave, everyone does a shot of high-octane gasoline to keep the memory fresh and the evil juices flowing.
At least that’s how I imagine it.
After all, gas prices seemingly rise whenever you need to fill up for the weekend. It’s a constant game and a constant battle.
But that’s why there’s something fun about watching those prices drip and drop ever so slowly
• Stage 4: The Fountain of Youth. After a while, the gray hairs add up and you start buying white wine for the backyard barbecue instead of lollipop-flavored vodka coolers for the all-night rager. You know your way around the store, you smile warmly at the clerk, and suddenly you get asked for your ID when you least expect it.
Oh baby, when it hasn’t happened in years, getting your ID checked can be a full body buzz . You fish out your card excitedly, peeling its faded face and dog-eared corners from your bag, and your eyes twinkle as you take a sip from the fountain of youth.
Sometimes it even happens on your birthday.
AWESOME!
The smell of rain on a hot sidewalk
There’s just something about the smell of rain on a hot sidewalk. It’s sort of like the rain cleans the air—completely hammering all the dirt and grime particles down to the ground and releasing some hot baked-in chemicals from the pavement. It smells best if it hasn’t rained in a while and the sidewalk is scalding hot. Then it sort of sizzles and steams up into a big, hot, intoxicating whiff.
AWESOME!
That friendly nod between strangers out doing the same thing
Gliding down the bike path on a Saturday morning, you whip by somebody peddling in the opposite direction and give each other a nod. For a moment it’s like “Hey, we’re both doing the same thing. Let’s be friends for a second.”
Also applies to seeing someone driving the same car as you, walking their dog past you on Sunday morning, or squeezing the melon beside you in the grocery store.
AWESOME!
Really, really old Tupperware
Found in dusty kitchen cupboards and dishwasher top shelves across this wide, great land, really, really old Tupperware is as handy today as it was twenty, thirty, forty years ago. That famous Tupperware burping seal still holds strong, and you can bet that banana bread will stay moist, those celery sticks crisp, and that leftover lasagna fresh. Yes, all is well in this tight vacuum-sealed Chamber of Taste Preservation .
Really, really old Tupperware is mostly found in three colors: Stovetop Green, Traffic Cone Orange , or The Core Of The Sun Yellow. Optional features include novelty 1950s floral patterns or deep tomato stains from that time someone put chili in there and shoved it in the back of the freezer for two years.
One thing I enjoy doing is thinking about all the different kinds of food a particular piece of Tupperware has Tupperwared shut over the years. Apparently Tupperware has been around since 1946, so we’re talking about the full tastebud time line—from lard burgers, creamed-corn casseroles, and Jell-O salads to hemp brownies, parsley soup, and tofu cookies to pizza pockets, TV dinner leftovers, and astronaut ice cream pellets.
Really, really old Tupperware has been there, sealed that, and lived to tell the tale. It’s a throwback to the simpler life, when things like airtight seals meant something. Something real. Something honest.
Something worth believing in.
AWESOME!
Getting gas just before the price goes up
Here’s how it all goes down.
Well-dressed fat cats sit around a dark, mahogany table in the boardroom of a nondescript high-rise deep in a dense metropolis on the coast of an exotic country. Anonymous and alone, they sip scotch, share pictures of new yachts, and make plans to jack gas prices for the long weekend.
Cuff links clinking on crystal glasses, celebratory cigar smoke filling the room, the gas execs laugh deep belly laughs, high ten each other, and then file into limos to take them back to the airport. And of course, just before they leave, everyone does a shot of high-octane gasoline to keep the memory fresh and the evil juices flowing.
At least that’s how I imagine it.
After all, gas prices seemingly rise whenever you need to fill up for the weekend. It’s a constant game and a constant battle.
But that’s why there’s something fun about watching those prices drip and drop ever so slowly
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