anything and I’ll answer truthfully.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes.”
Shawna’s fingers stilled on the napkin. “Did you love her?”
“The way I felt about her paled in comparison to the way I felt about you.”
“Answer the question. Were you in love with her when you slept with me?”
“It’s a terrible thing to say, but no, I didn’t love her. I’d had my doubts before, but being with you made me realize that I didn’t love her. I’d gone to Chicago to make a decision about my life and my relationship with Holly, and you helped me make it.” He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. “What else?”
“You said you broke up, but . . . did you ever sleep with her again?”
“Shawna . . .”
“You said I could ask you anything.”
“Anything but that.”
“Your response is my answer, but I want to hear you say it.”
His eyes looked steadily into hers. “Yes.”
She’d goaded him, yet now that he’d told her, the words tore at her insides. “Of course you did. You have quite the libido.”
“It’s not what you think. It only happened after I thought I’d never see you again, and I—”
“Thank goodness you didn’t get our names mixed up.”
“Shawna, listen to me.”
“After I saw you with her, I kept telling myself it was a nightmare.” She started to shake, could feel her control slipping away.
“Shawna.”
“I didn’t want to believe it had happened.”
“I was young and stupid. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle the situation with both of you there.”
“You never even called.”
“I should have, right away, but I didn’t know what to say, and I thought you hated me. I didn’t think you’d accept a call from me.”
“ I waited .” The pain-filled words fell between them like a bomb, shutting down the back and forth. Her eyes dodged his. She hadn’t meant to admit that. It came out and she wished she could take it back.
He reached across the table, but she pulled back before he could touch her, placing both hands in her lap. She couldn’t stand it if he touched her. His touch wouldn’t offer comfort—it would simply cause more pain in her emotional state.
His fingers curled into a fist on the tabletop. “I went to the hotel as soon as I could, but you had already left.”
She looked across the table at him. “I never received a single message or a text from you.”
He shook his head. “I gave up too easily.” He leaned forward. “I’m sorry. I left The Haven Hotel and I wandered for a while. I couldn’t face Holly or my brother. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d screwed up everything. I never touched her in Chicago because that was our place. You and me. Holly and I argued, and I—”
“I’d rather not know the details, thank you.” She still couldn’t look at him. She had no right to feel envious. She had been the other woman, but for two nights he’d been hers, and the fact that he’d wound up back in Holly’s arms opened a fresh wound.
“You should have never approached me that day on the street and make—” She’d almost admitted it. She’d almost said aloud what she’d hardly been able to say even to herself: make me fall for you, make me need you .
“I know I shouldn’t have approached you, but to be honest, I didn’t expect things to move so fast. Once we had dinner, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t not spend time with you. Can you understand that at all? Can you comprehend a little bit of what I felt?”
She could. She understood it well because she’d been driven by the same desire to be with him. She didn’t want to feel that way again because she didn’t know herself when she was with him. It scared her.
Time to go. She started putting on her sweater.
“What are you doing?” Ryan asked in an alarmed voice.
“I’m leaving. I did what you asked. I had dinner with you.”
“We haven’t finished talking.”
“There’s nothing else to
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Yes.”
Shawna’s fingers stilled on the napkin. “Did you love her?”
“The way I felt about her paled in comparison to the way I felt about you.”
“Answer the question. Were you in love with her when you slept with me?”
“It’s a terrible thing to say, but no, I didn’t love her. I’d had my doubts before, but being with you made me realize that I didn’t love her. I’d gone to Chicago to make a decision about my life and my relationship with Holly, and you helped me make it.” He took a deep breath, as if bracing himself. “What else?”
“You said you broke up, but . . . did you ever sleep with her again?”
“Shawna . . .”
“You said I could ask you anything.”
“Anything but that.”
“Your response is my answer, but I want to hear you say it.”
His eyes looked steadily into hers. “Yes.”
She’d goaded him, yet now that he’d told her, the words tore at her insides. “Of course you did. You have quite the libido.”
“It’s not what you think. It only happened after I thought I’d never see you again, and I—”
“Thank goodness you didn’t get our names mixed up.”
“Shawna, listen to me.”
“After I saw you with her, I kept telling myself it was a nightmare.” She started to shake, could feel her control slipping away.
“Shawna.”
“I didn’t want to believe it had happened.”
“I was young and stupid. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know how to handle the situation with both of you there.”
“You never even called.”
“I should have, right away, but I didn’t know what to say, and I thought you hated me. I didn’t think you’d accept a call from me.”
“ I waited .” The pain-filled words fell between them like a bomb, shutting down the back and forth. Her eyes dodged his. She hadn’t meant to admit that. It came out and she wished she could take it back.
He reached across the table, but she pulled back before he could touch her, placing both hands in her lap. She couldn’t stand it if he touched her. His touch wouldn’t offer comfort—it would simply cause more pain in her emotional state.
His fingers curled into a fist on the tabletop. “I went to the hotel as soon as I could, but you had already left.”
She looked across the table at him. “I never received a single message or a text from you.”
He shook his head. “I gave up too easily.” He leaned forward. “I’m sorry. I left The Haven Hotel and I wandered for a while. I couldn’t face Holly or my brother. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d screwed up everything. I never touched her in Chicago because that was our place. You and me. Holly and I argued, and I—”
“I’d rather not know the details, thank you.” She still couldn’t look at him. She had no right to feel envious. She had been the other woman, but for two nights he’d been hers, and the fact that he’d wound up back in Holly’s arms opened a fresh wound.
“You should have never approached me that day on the street and make—” She’d almost admitted it. She’d almost said aloud what she’d hardly been able to say even to herself: make me fall for you, make me need you .
“I know I shouldn’t have approached you, but to be honest, I didn’t expect things to move so fast. Once we had dinner, I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t not spend time with you. Can you understand that at all? Can you comprehend a little bit of what I felt?”
She could. She understood it well because she’d been driven by the same desire to be with him. She didn’t want to feel that way again because she didn’t know herself when she was with him. It scared her.
Time to go. She started putting on her sweater.
“What are you doing?” Ryan asked in an alarmed voice.
“I’m leaving. I did what you asked. I had dinner with you.”
“We haven’t finished talking.”
“There’s nothing else to
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