of the Fire Safety Team in the lunchroom after school.
Right away Alice wrote this down on a piece of paper, as if she had so many important engagements that she had to write them all down.
Imogene poked me. “What’s the Fire Safety Team?”
“It’s for the assembly,” I said. “It’s some kids who are going to demonstrate what to do in case of fire.”
Imogene shrugged. “Throw water on it and get out of the way.” Then she squinched up her eyes. “What kids? Who’s on this team?”
I was going to say “I don’t know” or “Who cares”—something so loose that Imogene wouldn’t want to waste her time— but as usual Alice had to blow her own horn.
“I am,” she said. “There’s ten of us plus two alternates in case somebody gets sick at the last minute.”
It’s not unusual for people to get sick at the last minute if they’re mixed up with Herdmans, so that got Imogene’s attention, but it wasn’t enough to hold her attention till Alice said, “We’re going to have T-shirts that say ‘Fire Safety Team, Woodrow Wilson School,’ so we’ll all look alike in the picture.”
I didn’t even bother to say “Shut up, Alice”—it was too late. You could tell that Imogene was already seeing herself in the Fire Safety T-shirt and in the picture, and there was only one thing that you didn’t know for sure—who, besides the two alternates, was going to get sick at the last minute.
Naturally Imogene wasn’t the only Herdman who showed up in the lunchroom after school. They were all there, slouching around ready for action, draped over the tables, scraping gum from underneath the benches, chewing it—and this was old gum, shiny with germs and hard enough to tear your teeth out.
There was at least one kid from every grade on the Fire Safety Team and they all had one eye on the Herdmans, so Mr. Crabtree couldn’t just ignore them, which is probably what he wanted to do.
“School’s over, Ralph,” Mr. Crabtree said, “Imogene, Ollie. Unless you people have some reason to be here, it’s time to go home. We’re just having a meeting.”
“We came to sign up,” Ralph said.
“Sign up for what? This is the Fire Safety Team.”
“Right,” Leroy said. “That. We want to sign up for that.”
“It was on the announcements,” Gladys put in, “about the meeting after school.”
Mr. Crabtree opened his mouth and then he shut it again because there wasn’t anything he could do about this. He had made it a major rule that anybody at the Woodrow Wilson School could sign up for anything they wanted to, no exceptions, and he had made another rule that everybody had to sign up for something whether they wanted to or not. So you had kids who signed up for two or three things, and you had kids who signed up for everything, and you had kids who wouldn’t sign up at all till their teacher or their mother or Mr. Crabtree made them be something. What you didn’t have was Herdmans signing up for anything.
Till now.
My mother said it was a good idea for the Herdmans to be on a Fire Safety Team. “Who needs to know more about fire safety than those kids?” she said. Some people said at least this way you could keep an eye on them during the assembly. My father said it was like inviting a lot of bank robbers to demonstrate how to rob the bank.
Three kids quit the Fire Safety Team right away before anything could happen to them, but their mothers said they ought to get the T-shirts anyway in view of the circumstances.
Mr. Crabtree knew what circumstances they were talking about—Herdmans—so he didn’t even mention that. He just said he didn’t have anything to do with the T-shirts. “That’s up to the PTA,” he said. “The PTA is providing T-shirts for the Fire Safety Team in honor of this special occasion.”
The president of the PTA said they weren’t providing T-shirts for kids who quit the Fire Safety Team. Mrs. Wendleken said they better not be providing T-shirts for the
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