Read Online The Best Rootin' Tootin' Shootin' Gunslinger in the Whole Damned Galaxy by Mike Resnick - Free Book Online

opponent of all liability or responsibility should this contest result in his death. Now, for one million credits, who will be the first to challenge Billybuck Dancer, the fastest gun in the galaxy?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Am I to understand that the Tilarbans will begin with their weapons already drawn?” asked Mr. Ahasuerus, as three members of the audience walked down the aisle into the ring.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “He doesn’t believe in making things easy for himself, does he?" commented Flint, leaning forward in his chair.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Tojo arbitrarily selected one of the three Tilarbans to be the Dancer’s first opponent. The slender Texan watched the orange being as Tojo positioned him some fifty feet away and placed a gun in his hand. “Contestant, are you ready?” said Tojo from his announcer’s platform.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The Tilarban muttered something Flint couldn’t hear, but obviously it was an affirmative.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Billybuck Dancer, are you ready?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The Dancer, arms folded loosely across his chest, looking more asleep than awake, nodded almost imperceptibly.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Then contestant,” said Tojo, “the first move is yours. Let the battle begin!"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The Tilarban eyed the Dancer cautiously, then swiftly began bringing the gun up to where he could aim it. From fifty feet away came a sudden blur of motion, followed by the sharp explosion of a gunshot, and then three things happened almost simultaneously: The Tilarban’s pistol flew across the ring and wound up in the second row of the audience.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The Dancer twirled his own gun and replaced it in its holster.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  And the Tilarban fell heavily to the ground.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “He’s killed him!” cried Mr. Ahasuerus.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “The hell he has!” snapped Flint, starting to clamber down the stairs.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “There was only one shot. It hit the gun!"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Flint raced across the ring and knelt down beside the Tilarban, while the Dancer stood where he was, staring curiously at the alien’s body as it lay sprawled in the sawdust.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  Flint turned him over and placed his ear next to where he assumed the Tilarban’s heart was.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Is he alive?” asked Tojo, who had run over to join him.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Not if he’s supposed to have a heartbeat,” said Flint. “He doesn’t seem to be breathing, either."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Where was he hit?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “He wasn’t!” said Flint, examining the body for a bullet hole and finding none.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Then what happened?"
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I don’t know. But you’d better have Mr. Ahasuerus get the cops here before the audience starts turning mean."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “What about the Dancer?” said the hunchback. “We’d better get him out of here."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I can’t think of a quicker way to start a riot than to look like we’re sneaking him away,” said Flint, still searching fruitlessly for a bullet wound. “After Ahasuerus calls the cops, hunt up Julius Squeezer and get him in here on the double. Maybe he can scare off any heroes who want to kill the Dancer."
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  The crowd, which had been whispering in shock, became louder and uglier, and the Dancer approached Flint.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “All I hit was his gun, Thaddeus,” he said calmly.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “I know,” replied Flint, massaging the Tilarban’s chest and wondering if he even had any lungs.
    Â Â Â Â Â Â  “Got any plans if his friends and relations come on