Read Online The Believers by Zoë Heller - Free Book Online
Authors: Zoë Heller
know who Joel is ," Audrey said after a moment. "They've got a fucking girl taking care of him, for God's sake."
"Not a female , surely?" Rosa said, with a smile. Keeping score of Audrey's antifeminist remarks was a private hobby of hers. She had a fantasy that one day she would compile them in a book and present the volume to her mother as a Christmas gift.
"Don't give me that," Audrey said. "I'm telling you, she's a teenager . She doesn't look as if she's started her periods yet."
"You mustn't worry," Karla said. "I'm sure she knows what she's--"
"Shit, where's my pot?" Audrey interrupted. She patted frantically at her pockets. "Lenny, where did I put that pot you gave me?"
The sides of Lenny's mouth turned down in an expression of complacent cluelessness. "Dunno."
"Can you remember where you had it last?" Karla asked.
Audrey ignored her. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she said, standing up.
Karla got down on her hands and knees, to peer beneath the chairs. "Could you have left it in the bathroom?"
Lenny made a desultory show of looking down the back of the sofa.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Audrey murmured, peering at the floor around her feet. "Where did I put it?"
Rosa watched her brother and sister creep around the room, two wary satellites to Audrey's sun.
"Oh!" Audrey cried suddenly, as she pulled a baggie from one of the side compartments of her pocketbook. "Here it is! Panic over."
"Well done, Mom!" Karla said.
"D'ya wanna go and have a smoke?" Lenny offered. "I'll come outside with you."
Audrey shook her head. "Don't be daft, Lenny. What if they bring your dad up while I'm gone?" She sat back down on the sofa and closed her eyes.
Her children watched her.
"Another thing about that girl doctor," she said presently. "She's got this horrible little mouth on her. It looks just like an arsehole."
Lenny and Karla giggled. Rosa studied the floor with distaste. Her mother was always congratulating herself on her audacious honesty, her willingness to express what everyone else was thinking. But no one, Rosa thought, actually shared Audrey's ugly view of the world. It was not the truth of her observations that made people laugh, but their unfairness, their surreal cruelty.
"You should eat something Mom," Karla said. "I could get you something from the cafeteria."
"God, no." Audrey made a face. "I couldn't keep anything down."
"You'd feel better if you ate," Karla said. "You need to keep your strength up."
Audrey opened her eyes now. "Would you stop going on about food, Karla?"
Karla stared at her hands.
"Actually, Karl," Lenny said after a moment, "I wouldn't mind an Almond Joy or something."
Rosa looked at her brother disapprovingly. "Go get your own Almond Joy, Lenny."
"It's all right," Karla said. "I don't mind."
Lenny shrugged. "If she wants to go..."
"Don't be so lazy," Rosa insisted.
"I really don't mind," Karla repeated.
"For God's sake, let her go, Rosa," Audrey put in sharply.
"Would you get me a coffee, too, while you're down there?" Lenny asked. "Black, two sugars?"
Rosa stood up. "I'll come with you, Karla."
In the elevator, the two sisters smiled awkwardly at each other.
"How's Mike?" Rosa asked.
"He's good." Karla's face took on a defensive expression. "He's coming as soon as he can get away. He's in a very important union meeting this afternoon. They're announcing the state election endorsements tomorrow."
"Oh, yes?" Rosa said politely. Karla always spoke of Mike's job as a union organizer with the reverence of a missionary wife describing her husband's evangelical work in Borneo.
"I see Mom's being her usual charming self," Rosa said after a moment.
"Well, she's under a lot of strain, Rosa."
Rosa sighed. It was hard graft trying to work up any sororal intimacy with Karla. Most siblings--however estranged from one another--could find common cause in being exasperated by their parents. But Karla refused to countenance the mildest criticism of Joel and Audrey. There was something rather
"Not a female , surely?" Rosa said, with a smile. Keeping score of Audrey's antifeminist remarks was a private hobby of hers. She had a fantasy that one day she would compile them in a book and present the volume to her mother as a Christmas gift.
"Don't give me that," Audrey said. "I'm telling you, she's a teenager . She doesn't look as if she's started her periods yet."
"You mustn't worry," Karla said. "I'm sure she knows what she's--"
"Shit, where's my pot?" Audrey interrupted. She patted frantically at her pockets. "Lenny, where did I put that pot you gave me?"
The sides of Lenny's mouth turned down in an expression of complacent cluelessness. "Dunno."
"Can you remember where you had it last?" Karla asked.
Audrey ignored her. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," she said, standing up.
Karla got down on her hands and knees, to peer beneath the chairs. "Could you have left it in the bathroom?"
Lenny made a desultory show of looking down the back of the sofa.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Audrey murmured, peering at the floor around her feet. "Where did I put it?"
Rosa watched her brother and sister creep around the room, two wary satellites to Audrey's sun.
"Oh!" Audrey cried suddenly, as she pulled a baggie from one of the side compartments of her pocketbook. "Here it is! Panic over."
"Well done, Mom!" Karla said.
"D'ya wanna go and have a smoke?" Lenny offered. "I'll come outside with you."
Audrey shook her head. "Don't be daft, Lenny. What if they bring your dad up while I'm gone?" She sat back down on the sofa and closed her eyes.
Her children watched her.
"Another thing about that girl doctor," she said presently. "She's got this horrible little mouth on her. It looks just like an arsehole."
Lenny and Karla giggled. Rosa studied the floor with distaste. Her mother was always congratulating herself on her audacious honesty, her willingness to express what everyone else was thinking. But no one, Rosa thought, actually shared Audrey's ugly view of the world. It was not the truth of her observations that made people laugh, but their unfairness, their surreal cruelty.
"You should eat something Mom," Karla said. "I could get you something from the cafeteria."
"God, no." Audrey made a face. "I couldn't keep anything down."
"You'd feel better if you ate," Karla said. "You need to keep your strength up."
Audrey opened her eyes now. "Would you stop going on about food, Karla?"
Karla stared at her hands.
"Actually, Karl," Lenny said after a moment, "I wouldn't mind an Almond Joy or something."
Rosa looked at her brother disapprovingly. "Go get your own Almond Joy, Lenny."
"It's all right," Karla said. "I don't mind."
Lenny shrugged. "If she wants to go..."
"Don't be so lazy," Rosa insisted.
"I really don't mind," Karla repeated.
"For God's sake, let her go, Rosa," Audrey put in sharply.
"Would you get me a coffee, too, while you're down there?" Lenny asked. "Black, two sugars?"
Rosa stood up. "I'll come with you, Karla."
In the elevator, the two sisters smiled awkwardly at each other.
"How's Mike?" Rosa asked.
"He's good." Karla's face took on a defensive expression. "He's coming as soon as he can get away. He's in a very important union meeting this afternoon. They're announcing the state election endorsements tomorrow."
"Oh, yes?" Rosa said politely. Karla always spoke of Mike's job as a union organizer with the reverence of a missionary wife describing her husband's evangelical work in Borneo.
"I see Mom's being her usual charming self," Rosa said after a moment.
"Well, she's under a lot of strain, Rosa."
Rosa sighed. It was hard graft trying to work up any sororal intimacy with Karla. Most siblings--however estranged from one another--could find common cause in being exasperated by their parents. But Karla refused to countenance the mildest criticism of Joel and Audrey. There was something rather
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