Read Online The Beastly Beatitudes of Balthazar B by J.P. Donleavy - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: J.P. Donleavy
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because he was gone. Towards the steeple tip of the village church, as it poked sharply into the sinking sun.
And
The bell
Rang once
To say
Goodbye
To
Sixty four.
9
In the empty dormitory Balthazar turned himself upon his face and laid out his arms on the cold pillow of his bed. If only one knew how to die. And go away from this lonely friendless world. Rise by one of Uncle Edouard's balloons attached around the bed. And there floating high in the sky cast down much merde upon this school.
At evening table no glad tidings, nor bold moments. Of catapulting cheese lumps at the grey bearded founder's portrait. Or rolling a drinking glass to get crushed under a servant's foot. Nor at night hear his kind thoughts to comfort one through till dawn. You mustn't worry now. Tomorrow we are having margarine with breakfast and marmite. And I have put much salt in the masters' coffee grindings and they will screw up their faces and find the taste most awfully horrid.
And now to lie tired cold and shivery. To hold hands down between my legs. And knees up to my chin. When Beefy would tap his chest and say, let the magnificent masturbator speak. I am the king of masturbators and have a bent for botty bashing too. And somewhere sometimes another lonely boy would whimper, cry for mommie and in his tears fall to sleep.
This last week before Christmas holidays. To play rugger. Face, knees and elbows deep in the dark thick mud. Bruised and sorry. To drop the ball from slippery hands. Amid the shoves, screams and shouts. Beefy said always be gentlemanly and honest, except with masters, bullies and enemies and defend against them by all means at hand. And do the indecent thing to do, if possible.
Until this cold damp evening after rugger the dormitory windows black with night. Masterdon promenading in his soiled underwear strolling with his grinning big lips past Balthazar's bed.
"Frenchy. You're going to be in for it something shocking. They are clearing the foreigners out of this school. Frenchy. Those with dirty pictures hidden in the walls. Maybe you are not so spunky now your little piggish friend Beefy is gone.'
Balthazar rushed forward and sent a looping fist into Masterdon's eye. The big boy reeled and reached out to grab at Balthazar's hair. Who ducked and ran towards the door. Followed by Masterdon's heavy slippered feet. Down the main stair. To the darkened entrance hall and into a door and down another stairs winding into the vast haunted cellars. Through the blackness into the warm dry air of the boiler room. Followed by Masterdon. Balthazar hugging close running round the boiler. Masterdon behind tripping over a box in the dark. Balthazar rushing out slamming and bolting the metal encased door shut. The heavy breathing of Masterdon the other side. Then his voice.
"I will kill you number fifty seven when I get out of here.' "You may never get out."
"I'll shout for Slouch."
"Do. He will never hear you. He is sniffing bicycle seats."
"You think you're clever fifty seven."
"Yes I do. Watch out, your snakes may turn on you and eat you."
"Shut up that talk."
"If your snakes don't bite you Masterdon, Beefy's adders will. I put them in there yesterday. Two adders."
"Shut up you."
"Adders Masterdon. Adders. They are able to strike in the dark. They can tell where there is warm flesh and strike. They are moving now towards you."
"Shut up, when I get out of here I will kill you just remember that."
"Masterdon. Adders. Masterdon adders."
"Shut up shut up. You'll be sorry.' "You'll be dead of poison from the adders Masterdon."
"You never put an adder in here."
"I did yesterday. Two adders in the white shoe box. And you knocked it over just now."
"Where were they then.'
"They are there Masterdon. Coming near your ankles. It won't be long now before they strike.'
"Let me out of here.'
"No not till you are well bitten."
"Let me out I say."
"Apologise. And vow never to bully again. For I am not joking, there are
And
The bell
Rang once
To say
Goodbye
To
Sixty four.
9
In the empty dormitory Balthazar turned himself upon his face and laid out his arms on the cold pillow of his bed. If only one knew how to die. And go away from this lonely friendless world. Rise by one of Uncle Edouard's balloons attached around the bed. And there floating high in the sky cast down much merde upon this school.
At evening table no glad tidings, nor bold moments. Of catapulting cheese lumps at the grey bearded founder's portrait. Or rolling a drinking glass to get crushed under a servant's foot. Nor at night hear his kind thoughts to comfort one through till dawn. You mustn't worry now. Tomorrow we are having margarine with breakfast and marmite. And I have put much salt in the masters' coffee grindings and they will screw up their faces and find the taste most awfully horrid.
And now to lie tired cold and shivery. To hold hands down between my legs. And knees up to my chin. When Beefy would tap his chest and say, let the magnificent masturbator speak. I am the king of masturbators and have a bent for botty bashing too. And somewhere sometimes another lonely boy would whimper, cry for mommie and in his tears fall to sleep.
This last week before Christmas holidays. To play rugger. Face, knees and elbows deep in the dark thick mud. Bruised and sorry. To drop the ball from slippery hands. Amid the shoves, screams and shouts. Beefy said always be gentlemanly and honest, except with masters, bullies and enemies and defend against them by all means at hand. And do the indecent thing to do, if possible.
Until this cold damp evening after rugger the dormitory windows black with night. Masterdon promenading in his soiled underwear strolling with his grinning big lips past Balthazar's bed.
"Frenchy. You're going to be in for it something shocking. They are clearing the foreigners out of this school. Frenchy. Those with dirty pictures hidden in the walls. Maybe you are not so spunky now your little piggish friend Beefy is gone.'
Balthazar rushed forward and sent a looping fist into Masterdon's eye. The big boy reeled and reached out to grab at Balthazar's hair. Who ducked and ran towards the door. Followed by Masterdon's heavy slippered feet. Down the main stair. To the darkened entrance hall and into a door and down another stairs winding into the vast haunted cellars. Through the blackness into the warm dry air of the boiler room. Followed by Masterdon. Balthazar hugging close running round the boiler. Masterdon behind tripping over a box in the dark. Balthazar rushing out slamming and bolting the metal encased door shut. The heavy breathing of Masterdon the other side. Then his voice.
"I will kill you number fifty seven when I get out of here.' "You may never get out."
"I'll shout for Slouch."
"Do. He will never hear you. He is sniffing bicycle seats."
"You think you're clever fifty seven."
"Yes I do. Watch out, your snakes may turn on you and eat you."
"Shut up that talk."
"If your snakes don't bite you Masterdon, Beefy's adders will. I put them in there yesterday. Two adders."
"Shut up you."
"Adders Masterdon. Adders. They are able to strike in the dark. They can tell where there is warm flesh and strike. They are moving now towards you."
"Shut up, when I get out of here I will kill you just remember that."
"Masterdon. Adders. Masterdon adders."
"Shut up shut up. You'll be sorry.' "You'll be dead of poison from the adders Masterdon."
"You never put an adder in here."
"I did yesterday. Two adders in the white shoe box. And you knocked it over just now."
"Where were they then.'
"They are there Masterdon. Coming near your ankles. It won't be long now before they strike.'
"Let me out of here.'
"No not till you are well bitten."
"Let me out I say."
"Apologise. And vow never to bully again. For I am not joking, there are
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