Read Online The Art of Manliness: Classic Skills and Manners for the Modern Man by Brett Mckay, Kate Mckay - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Brett Mckay, Kate Mckay
Tags: Humor, General, Social Science, Psychology, Reference, gender studies, Men, Etiquette, Men's Studies, Men - Identity, Sex Role, Masculinity, Personal & Practical Guides, Array, Identity
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touchy-feely with one another either; many men would give no thought to draping their arms around their bud, sitting on one another’s lap or even holding hands. It was also quite common for men to share a bed to save money. Men were free to have affectionate friendships with each other without fear of being called a queer because the modern concept of homosexuality and the strict straight/gay dichotomy did not yet exist. It wasn’t until the turn of the twentieth century that psychologists started analyzing homosexuality. When that happened, men in America started to become much more self-conscious about their relationships with their friends and traded the close embraces for a stiff pat on the back. The man hug was born.
Male Friendships in Twentieth-Century America
“The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships.”
—Abraham Lincoln
The man friendship underwent serious transformations during the twentieth century. Men went from lavishing endearing words on each other and holding hands to avoiding too much emotional bonding or any sort of physical affections whatsoever. Fear of being called gay drove much of the transformation. Ministers and politicians decried homosexuality as being incompatible with true manhood.
Figure 2.1 During the twentieth century, the man friendship went from lavishing endearing words on each other and holding hands to avoiding any sort of physical affections whatsoever.
Additionally, the Industrial Revolution and the country’s shift from an agrarian to a market economy affected the dynamics of all social relations. The resulting capitalistic culture, which gravitated to the new ideas of Social Darwinism and believed only the fittest would survive, influenced the way men viewed each other. Instead of being a potential friend, the man next to you became competition. In a dog-eat-dog world, it’s hard to get ahead when the guys you need to snack on are also your bosom buddies.
Increased mobility during the twentieth century also contributed to the decline in male friendships. With more men following their work, it was hard to set down roots and make true friends. Man friendships did not die out of course, but the basis of the relationship shifted from a bond based on deep emotional connections to one centered on common pursuits. As leisure time increased and men moved to the suburbs, they formed their friendships on the golf course, at the neighborhood block party and in the corporate workplace.
The Future of Man Friendships
It’s a shame that our society’s ingrained homophobia prevents men from connecting with each other on a more emotional and physical level. American men are missing out on the benefits of close friendships. Studies reveal that men who have several close friends are generally happier and live longer than men who don’t. And yet research shows that the number of friends and confidantes a man has has been steadily dropping for decades, leading to greater isolation and loneliness.
It’s high time modern men took their place in the glorious history of man friendships. We hope this chapter will help you do just that.
Band of Brothers: Making and Keeping Strong Friendships
When a young man is in high school or college, making friends comes easily and naturally. Yet when his school years conclude, and especially when he gets married and moves, a man begins to find it quite hard to make new friends and maintain the bond with his old pals. At this point in life, cultivating his friendships takes a little more effort and work, but it is infinitely worth it.
Recruiting Your Band of Brothers
Fraternize at work. You spend more time with people at work than you do at home. And there are probably some dudes at work that you get along with swimmingly. Instead of keeping them in the work friend category, convert them into friend friends. Go for some drinks after work. Invite them over to your house to watch the game on Saturday. If you’re married, go
Male Friendships in Twentieth-Century America
“The better part of one’s life consists of his friendships.”
—Abraham Lincoln
The man friendship underwent serious transformations during the twentieth century. Men went from lavishing endearing words on each other and holding hands to avoiding too much emotional bonding or any sort of physical affections whatsoever. Fear of being called gay drove much of the transformation. Ministers and politicians decried homosexuality as being incompatible with true manhood.
Figure 2.1 During the twentieth century, the man friendship went from lavishing endearing words on each other and holding hands to avoiding any sort of physical affections whatsoever.
Additionally, the Industrial Revolution and the country’s shift from an agrarian to a market economy affected the dynamics of all social relations. The resulting capitalistic culture, which gravitated to the new ideas of Social Darwinism and believed only the fittest would survive, influenced the way men viewed each other. Instead of being a potential friend, the man next to you became competition. In a dog-eat-dog world, it’s hard to get ahead when the guys you need to snack on are also your bosom buddies.
Increased mobility during the twentieth century also contributed to the decline in male friendships. With more men following their work, it was hard to set down roots and make true friends. Man friendships did not die out of course, but the basis of the relationship shifted from a bond based on deep emotional connections to one centered on common pursuits. As leisure time increased and men moved to the suburbs, they formed their friendships on the golf course, at the neighborhood block party and in the corporate workplace.
The Future of Man Friendships
It’s a shame that our society’s ingrained homophobia prevents men from connecting with each other on a more emotional and physical level. American men are missing out on the benefits of close friendships. Studies reveal that men who have several close friends are generally happier and live longer than men who don’t. And yet research shows that the number of friends and confidantes a man has has been steadily dropping for decades, leading to greater isolation and loneliness.
It’s high time modern men took their place in the glorious history of man friendships. We hope this chapter will help you do just that.
Band of Brothers: Making and Keeping Strong Friendships
When a young man is in high school or college, making friends comes easily and naturally. Yet when his school years conclude, and especially when he gets married and moves, a man begins to find it quite hard to make new friends and maintain the bond with his old pals. At this point in life, cultivating his friendships takes a little more effort and work, but it is infinitely worth it.
Recruiting Your Band of Brothers
Fraternize at work. You spend more time with people at work than you do at home. And there are probably some dudes at work that you get along with swimmingly. Instead of keeping them in the work friend category, convert them into friend friends. Go for some drinks after work. Invite them over to your house to watch the game on Saturday. If you’re married, go
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