of guy. I can’t bring
myself to ask. I lift my beer to my lips and wait.
“I’ve thought a lot about you, Jase.” He
sniffs and then rubs his nose. “I can’t stop thinking about you, to
be honest.”
“What do you mean?”
He shakes his head and runs his huge hands
through his blond hair. “I don’t quite understand it… you know,
what’s going on in my head. But I figure I’ve got to be thinking
about you so much because I need to know how you’re doing. I must
need to know you’re okay, or something. Right?”
I nod. What he just said makes sense,
although it isn’t how I handled my stress. I’d simply
blocked him out of my mind along with every other reminder of the
spring shootings. “If you want to know how I am, honestly, I’ve
seen better days.”
“I had a feeling about that….”
“It’s hard for me living at home. It’s like
I’ve got one foot stuck in a rut. My mom doesn’t want me to go back
to Batcheldor at all because of what happened, and part of me wants
to stay at home and attend the school in my town. But another part
of me knows that if I don’t go back to Batcheldor College, I’m
going to find myself stuck in a rut so deep I can’t get out.”
“Well….” Liam brushes his beard with his
hand, evidently deep in thought. “Well, let’s see if we can’t get
you out of that rut this weekend. ‘Kay?”
His words are upbeat, but he’s not smiling.
And I’m confused. Liam confuses me. “Why are you doing all this for
me?”
“We’ll talk about that later this weekend, I
promise. But right now, how about if we just try to find some
comedy on TV and suck down some brews and kick back?”
Despite being mildly curious about Liam’s
reasons for looking out for me so attentively, I’m more relieved to
be experiencing this reprieve from my own emotional torment.
Something about Liam’s mere presence has me breathing easier, and I
like it. “Sure. Sounds like a plan to me.”
We drink all night. And most people would
think that a lot of talking would accompany all that drinking but
no, we quietly watch stand-up comedy and then an old black and
white war movie, and then we find an 80’s Big Hair Band Countdown
to the Top Rock Ballad, which pretty much gets us to sunrise.
“Wanna go to the bedrooms and crash?” Liam
asks, when the sun starts to peek in the window. “I’ll take one of
the bunk beds and you can have the room with the double bed.”
“Why can’t we just stay here and sleep?” I’m
drunk, but not too drunk to know that tomorrow I can blame my
suggestion to sleep together on having indulged in too much booze.
My typical cop-out.
We’re still fully dressed, shoes and all,
sitting on either end of this lumpy floral beast of a sofa that’s
probably older than both of us put together. Upon my suggestion, he
slides down on its outside edge and pats the spot between him and
the back of the couch. “Join me, won’t you?”
I scramble up beside him and wedge my newly
skinny body between Liam and the couch. He sighs and I remember the
sound so well that it makes me smile. “You always sigh….”
“I sigh when I want something I just can’t
have.” He sighs again. I’m too drunk to wonder about his remark.
Well, almost too drunk.
I face the high back of the couch, and I
wish so much I could turn around and push my face against the
softness of Liam’s T-shirt but in doing that I’d be going to a
place where I wasn’t invited. It would be almost like asking for a
kiss, at a minimum, and since neither one of us is gay that would
be too weird. So I cross my arms in front of my chest and enjoy the
feeling of being spooned by a person with whom I feel safe. I,
however, find it difficult to talk myself out of being aroused,
which gives me another reason to be thankful that I’m not pushed up
against him, face to face. My not so little secret would surely
then be revealed. And true to form, I blame my stiff dick on my
drunken state.
I lie there
myself to ask. I lift my beer to my lips and wait.
“I’ve thought a lot about you, Jase.” He
sniffs and then rubs his nose. “I can’t stop thinking about you, to
be honest.”
“What do you mean?”
He shakes his head and runs his huge hands
through his blond hair. “I don’t quite understand it… you know,
what’s going on in my head. But I figure I’ve got to be thinking
about you so much because I need to know how you’re doing. I must
need to know you’re okay, or something. Right?”
I nod. What he just said makes sense,
although it isn’t how I handled my stress. I’d simply
blocked him out of my mind along with every other reminder of the
spring shootings. “If you want to know how I am, honestly, I’ve
seen better days.”
“I had a feeling about that….”
“It’s hard for me living at home. It’s like
I’ve got one foot stuck in a rut. My mom doesn’t want me to go back
to Batcheldor at all because of what happened, and part of me wants
to stay at home and attend the school in my town. But another part
of me knows that if I don’t go back to Batcheldor College, I’m
going to find myself stuck in a rut so deep I can’t get out.”
“Well….” Liam brushes his beard with his
hand, evidently deep in thought. “Well, let’s see if we can’t get
you out of that rut this weekend. ‘Kay?”
His words are upbeat, but he’s not smiling.
And I’m confused. Liam confuses me. “Why are you doing all this for
me?”
“We’ll talk about that later this weekend, I
promise. But right now, how about if we just try to find some
comedy on TV and suck down some brews and kick back?”
Despite being mildly curious about Liam’s
reasons for looking out for me so attentively, I’m more relieved to
be experiencing this reprieve from my own emotional torment.
Something about Liam’s mere presence has me breathing easier, and I
like it. “Sure. Sounds like a plan to me.”
We drink all night. And most people would
think that a lot of talking would accompany all that drinking but
no, we quietly watch stand-up comedy and then an old black and
white war movie, and then we find an 80’s Big Hair Band Countdown
to the Top Rock Ballad, which pretty much gets us to sunrise.
“Wanna go to the bedrooms and crash?” Liam
asks, when the sun starts to peek in the window. “I’ll take one of
the bunk beds and you can have the room with the double bed.”
“Why can’t we just stay here and sleep?” I’m
drunk, but not too drunk to know that tomorrow I can blame my
suggestion to sleep together on having indulged in too much booze.
My typical cop-out.
We’re still fully dressed, shoes and all,
sitting on either end of this lumpy floral beast of a sofa that’s
probably older than both of us put together. Upon my suggestion, he
slides down on its outside edge and pats the spot between him and
the back of the couch. “Join me, won’t you?”
I scramble up beside him and wedge my newly
skinny body between Liam and the couch. He sighs and I remember the
sound so well that it makes me smile. “You always sigh….”
“I sigh when I want something I just can’t
have.” He sighs again. I’m too drunk to wonder about his remark.
Well, almost too drunk.
I face the high back of the couch, and I
wish so much I could turn around and push my face against the
softness of Liam’s T-shirt but in doing that I’d be going to a
place where I wasn’t invited. It would be almost like asking for a
kiss, at a minimum, and since neither one of us is gay that would
be too weird. So I cross my arms in front of my chest and enjoy the
feeling of being spooned by a person with whom I feel safe. I,
however, find it difficult to talk myself out of being aroused,
which gives me another reason to be thankful that I’m not pushed up
against him, face to face. My not so little secret would surely
then be revealed. And true to form, I blame my stiff dick on my
drunken state.
I lie there
Similar Books
