amends. Did you know why he hired you? You’re an almost perfect match for him. Not as perfect as the guy you just did, but good enough. Dr. K. really needs you now,” he says. He smiles a cold smile and reaches for the laser scalpel.
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The Incredible, Edible Mr. Glump
“Eat me!”
Alice dared to open one eye. Sunlight slashed through the filthy window and stabbed into her brain. She slammed the eyelid shut, but not before she saw him! “Oh no! You’re back!” Alice threw an ash tray at the apparition. “Go away!” She covered her eyes with hangover shaky hands. She peeked around her fingernails, and the chipped, crimson polish flashed past her vision giving her a sense of vertigo as if she were whirling around in a glass bowl, watching red paint peel from the wall at warp speed. Or, was it the tequila from last night? Whatever made her head spin, she felt a nasty mood coming on with the headache.
“Eat me!” The six-inch apparition squealed again. “Eat me! You won’t be sorry. Please. Do it now. Eat me!”
“Ughh!” She grabbed an empty bottle from the night stand and threw it at him. “Go away!”
“Not till you promise to eat me.” The red, white, and blue striped fellow deftly sidestepped the flying bottle, glanced at it as it rolled across the floor and shook his head sadly. “It’s not hard, I promise. Two bites at most. Chomp-chomp. That’s it.”
Alice rubbed her throbbing head with the back of a once delicate hand, and stared at the ceiling. “Why me?” she moaned.
“Because you were the first person I ran into while I was floating down that gutter. If you hadn’t been lying there, heaven knows where I might have ended up.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll eat you later, but now just go away.”
“Promise?” The apparition’s voice was doubtful.
“Yeah. Promise. Later. Now, GO AWAY! Ouch!” Her own shout rumbled through her brain like a freight train. Moaning, she lay on her back and clamped her head with her hands.
Poof! He disappeared.
A few minutes later, she chanced opening her eyes again, peeked under her hand, then closed them again gratefully. “Gone. Thank God!”
I’ve got to quit the tequila, she thought and rolled on her side away from the window. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her left buttocks where the fresh tattoo had begun to burn. She barely remembered entering the tattoo parlor last night. Everything after that was a blank. She thought she was with someone, but she wasn’t sure. There were those two cowboys at the bar earlier but ... .
Her head pounded a little less. She took a chance and opened her eyes, then she slammed them shut again. The faded, peeling, paisley wallpaper made her stomach churn. “Alice, you’re an idiot,” she mumbled.
Struggling to sit up, she leaned over the bed, rested her elbows on her knees, and held her forehead with both hands. “A drink,” she mumbled. “Must be one here somewhere.” Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and her own voice rasped in her ears.
A smaller voice squeaked behind her. “You stashed one under the bed before you passed out.”
Alice jumped at the sound. “Why are you back? Quit sneaking up on me, you ... you—figment!” She knelt and felt around on the floor under the bed.
“Not figment. How many times do I have to tell you? I am a Mrpagalump. Now, will you eat me? You promised.” His voice was as indignant as a voice coming from a six-inch tall man can be.
“Oh God! This is so stupid. My hallucination not only talks, it begs to be eaten. I’ve really got to go back to AA. Ah, there it is.” She withdrew a bottle from under the bed. Holding it up as if it were a trophy, she nodded satisfaction. “A good half bottle left. That’ll do.”
Lifting the bottle to her lips, she glanced down at the six-inch man at her feet. “You still here? Why?”
“You said you would eat me later. Is it later?”
She wrapped her lips firmly around the bottle’s
bookmark
The Incredible, Edible Mr. Glump
“Eat me!”
Alice dared to open one eye. Sunlight slashed through the filthy window and stabbed into her brain. She slammed the eyelid shut, but not before she saw him! “Oh no! You’re back!” Alice threw an ash tray at the apparition. “Go away!” She covered her eyes with hangover shaky hands. She peeked around her fingernails, and the chipped, crimson polish flashed past her vision giving her a sense of vertigo as if she were whirling around in a glass bowl, watching red paint peel from the wall at warp speed. Or, was it the tequila from last night? Whatever made her head spin, she felt a nasty mood coming on with the headache.
“Eat me!” The six-inch apparition squealed again. “Eat me! You won’t be sorry. Please. Do it now. Eat me!”
“Ughh!” She grabbed an empty bottle from the night stand and threw it at him. “Go away!”
“Not till you promise to eat me.” The red, white, and blue striped fellow deftly sidestepped the flying bottle, glanced at it as it rolled across the floor and shook his head sadly. “It’s not hard, I promise. Two bites at most. Chomp-chomp. That’s it.”
Alice rubbed her throbbing head with the back of a once delicate hand, and stared at the ceiling. “Why me?” she moaned.
“Because you were the first person I ran into while I was floating down that gutter. If you hadn’t been lying there, heaven knows where I might have ended up.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll eat you later, but now just go away.”
“Promise?” The apparition’s voice was doubtful.
“Yeah. Promise. Later. Now, GO AWAY! Ouch!” Her own shout rumbled through her brain like a freight train. Moaning, she lay on her back and clamped her head with her hands.
Poof! He disappeared.
A few minutes later, she chanced opening her eyes again, peeked under her hand, then closed them again gratefully. “Gone. Thank God!”
I’ve got to quit the tequila, she thought and rolled on her side away from the window. Absentmindedly, she rubbed her left buttocks where the fresh tattoo had begun to burn. She barely remembered entering the tattoo parlor last night. Everything after that was a blank. She thought she was with someone, but she wasn’t sure. There were those two cowboys at the bar earlier but ... .
Her head pounded a little less. She took a chance and opened her eyes, then she slammed them shut again. The faded, peeling, paisley wallpaper made her stomach churn. “Alice, you’re an idiot,” she mumbled.
Struggling to sit up, she leaned over the bed, rested her elbows on her knees, and held her forehead with both hands. “A drink,” she mumbled. “Must be one here somewhere.” Her mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton balls, and her own voice rasped in her ears.
A smaller voice squeaked behind her. “You stashed one under the bed before you passed out.”
Alice jumped at the sound. “Why are you back? Quit sneaking up on me, you ... you—figment!” She knelt and felt around on the floor under the bed.
“Not figment. How many times do I have to tell you? I am a Mrpagalump. Now, will you eat me? You promised.” His voice was as indignant as a voice coming from a six-inch tall man can be.
“Oh God! This is so stupid. My hallucination not only talks, it begs to be eaten. I’ve really got to go back to AA. Ah, there it is.” She withdrew a bottle from under the bed. Holding it up as if it were a trophy, she nodded satisfaction. “A good half bottle left. That’ll do.”
Lifting the bottle to her lips, she glanced down at the six-inch man at her feet. “You still here? Why?”
“You said you would eat me later. Is it later?”
She wrapped her lips firmly around the bottle’s
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