Read Online The Accidental Genie by Dakota Cassidy - Free Book Online
Authors: Dakota Cassidy
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rest . . . Like you’re hormonal times a billion.” She patted his arm again, her eyes reflecting her share of bewilderment.
Her tender, nurturing tone wrought more tears from eyes he would have sworn were all cried out. But taking into account he was utterly sick with jealousy that Jeannie had such perfectly symmetrical, almond-shaped eyes—it made sense.
After looking in that hand mirror the beast kept waving in front of him, Sloan found he sorely lacked in the feminine department. Sorely.
“Don’t,” he heard himself squeak, putting a hand between them. Jesus. What was it with the hand thing? “I can’t bear your pity. I’m a mess.” Again, even as the words escaped his lips, he couldn’t believe they were coming from his mouth.
Marty patted his shoulder and pulled a tissue from the sleeve of her fabulous, long-sleeved maxi dress. Sloan bit the inside of his lip when he summed up Marty with three words that were as foreign to him as how to use a mascara wand.
Maxi dress
and
fabulous
. All in one sentence. Oh, God.
She tilted his chin up and swiped at his tears. “Stop. You’ll ruin your makeup.”
“Loook at me,” he moaned. “I’m hideous. Simply hideous!”
“And fucking whiny,” Nina added, just so there’d be extra tears.
His finger was immediately up in the air again and then, he was waving it in accusatory fashion at Nina. “If I wasn’t sure before, Nina, I am now. You’re not a woman. You couldn’t be, you unfeeling, angry little viper. You’re insensitive and crude and you dress like you just left some Goth party where people cut themselves while they play Halo.”
Nina winked, adjusting her hoodie around her face. “Well, I’ve been telling you for years I’m more man than you’ll ever be. Guess I was fucking right. Now quit adding to the already overweight load of broads on my back and shut up. We have a problem—one we know diddly about. Jeannie can obviously grant wishes. Yours at least, for sure. So the first thing would be to nix the word
wish
totally from your vocabulary. Everybody clear on that shit? No wishing for fucking anything. Though Marty might want to wish her Booty Pop was real so she doesn’t have to wear those two slabs of poufy material over her bag of bulldogs anymore.”
“Nina.” Wanda let out a low warning growl, sending her friend a scowl filled with discontent. “We’re absolutely not going to begin this way again. No more yelling and threatening and in general taking far too much pleasure in someone else’s pain. Now, you will sit. You will sit without uttering another word unless it’s supportive and warm, and you will smile like you just ate someone’s limb clear off while you do it. I will not have you offend another client.”
Jeannie clacked her jeweled slippers together when she glanced at Nina and Wanda. “I’m not offended. I thought it was pretty funny.”
Nina grinned. “I like her. She can stay. At least until some crazy shit’s about to go down and we have to save her life. Then she has to hit the bricks.”
Marty crossed the room and splayed her fingers over Nina’s mouth, placing her other hand on her shoulder as leverage. She cocked Nina’s head back and peered into her friend’s coal black eyes. “I’m going to remind you of your husband’s words after the last disaster you created. If you don’t learn to keep your mouth in check, he’ll hand you over to clan rule himself. Remember those words, Nina? Remember
why
he said those words. You remember Phoebe, don’t you, bulldozer? The sister you turned into a vampire in one angry shove?”
Nina’s chin lifted and her eyes narrowed to black slits in her head, but when Marty slid her fingers down to her chin, her lips pressed tightly together in compressed silence.
Marty rocked Nina’s head up and down, making the long, dark cascade of her hair fall out of her hoodie and tumble over her shoulder. “Why, yes, Marty,” she mimicked her friend. “Yes, I
Her tender, nurturing tone wrought more tears from eyes he would have sworn were all cried out. But taking into account he was utterly sick with jealousy that Jeannie had such perfectly symmetrical, almond-shaped eyes—it made sense.
After looking in that hand mirror the beast kept waving in front of him, Sloan found he sorely lacked in the feminine department. Sorely.
“Don’t,” he heard himself squeak, putting a hand between them. Jesus. What was it with the hand thing? “I can’t bear your pity. I’m a mess.” Again, even as the words escaped his lips, he couldn’t believe they were coming from his mouth.
Marty patted his shoulder and pulled a tissue from the sleeve of her fabulous, long-sleeved maxi dress. Sloan bit the inside of his lip when he summed up Marty with three words that were as foreign to him as how to use a mascara wand.
Maxi dress
and
fabulous
. All in one sentence. Oh, God.
She tilted his chin up and swiped at his tears. “Stop. You’ll ruin your makeup.”
“Loook at me,” he moaned. “I’m hideous. Simply hideous!”
“And fucking whiny,” Nina added, just so there’d be extra tears.
His finger was immediately up in the air again and then, he was waving it in accusatory fashion at Nina. “If I wasn’t sure before, Nina, I am now. You’re not a woman. You couldn’t be, you unfeeling, angry little viper. You’re insensitive and crude and you dress like you just left some Goth party where people cut themselves while they play Halo.”
Nina winked, adjusting her hoodie around her face. “Well, I’ve been telling you for years I’m more man than you’ll ever be. Guess I was fucking right. Now quit adding to the already overweight load of broads on my back and shut up. We have a problem—one we know diddly about. Jeannie can obviously grant wishes. Yours at least, for sure. So the first thing would be to nix the word
wish
totally from your vocabulary. Everybody clear on that shit? No wishing for fucking anything. Though Marty might want to wish her Booty Pop was real so she doesn’t have to wear those two slabs of poufy material over her bag of bulldogs anymore.”
“Nina.” Wanda let out a low warning growl, sending her friend a scowl filled with discontent. “We’re absolutely not going to begin this way again. No more yelling and threatening and in general taking far too much pleasure in someone else’s pain. Now, you will sit. You will sit without uttering another word unless it’s supportive and warm, and you will smile like you just ate someone’s limb clear off while you do it. I will not have you offend another client.”
Jeannie clacked her jeweled slippers together when she glanced at Nina and Wanda. “I’m not offended. I thought it was pretty funny.”
Nina grinned. “I like her. She can stay. At least until some crazy shit’s about to go down and we have to save her life. Then she has to hit the bricks.”
Marty crossed the room and splayed her fingers over Nina’s mouth, placing her other hand on her shoulder as leverage. She cocked Nina’s head back and peered into her friend’s coal black eyes. “I’m going to remind you of your husband’s words after the last disaster you created. If you don’t learn to keep your mouth in check, he’ll hand you over to clan rule himself. Remember those words, Nina? Remember
why
he said those words. You remember Phoebe, don’t you, bulldozer? The sister you turned into a vampire in one angry shove?”
Nina’s chin lifted and her eyes narrowed to black slits in her head, but when Marty slid her fingers down to her chin, her lips pressed tightly together in compressed silence.
Marty rocked Nina’s head up and down, making the long, dark cascade of her hair fall out of her hoodie and tumble over her shoulder. “Why, yes, Marty,” she mimicked her friend. “Yes, I
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