Read Online That One Night (That One Series Book 1) by Josie Wright - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Josie Wright
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mouth, and is happily sucking away on it within the blink of an eye.
“So you don’t breastfeed him?” Ben asks, eyeing me curiously.
Great. I might not be showing my boobs, but now I’m talking about them.
“I do as long as he wants it and doesn’t get teeth. But I don’t really always feel like whipping my boob out in public,” I laugh, and Ben joins me, although I catch his eyes straying to my chest while he does so. My boobs were never on the small side, but since I’ve had Archer, they are quite impressive. Sometimes I wonder how I manage not to fall over.
By the time our food arrives, Archer has finished his bottle and happily drifted off to sleep in Ben’s arms.
“I’ll get the stroller out of the car so he can sleep in it and you can eat,” I suggest, seeing as Ben might not be trained in the one-handed execution of daily tasks that anyone with a baby becomes a master of.
But Ben only shakes his head at me. “No, it’s fine. He can sleep right here.” It seems Ben doesn’t want to let him go and I’m definitely not going to push him to do so.
“How come your parents don’t know I’m the father?” The question surprises me, but then I was in a trance for a moment, watching Ben and Archer together, trying to smother the little hope that maybe we could end up being a happy family. This is reckless, wishful thinking that will only get me hurt. Go away weird, girly emotions.
“I didn’t want to tell them before you knew. You had a right to know first and to be able to decide what role you want to play in our...I mean in Archer’s life. And I knew they would be disappointed that you left—even if you didn’t know about Archer. I just...,” I trail off, not sure myself if there’s more to it than what I just said out loud.
“So you’ve been catching a lot of flak from them because you wanted to protect me and allow me to make my own decision without any pressure?” His eyes shoot up and he looks at me so intently that I squirm in my seat. I realize that all the anger and disappointment has made me blind to the fact that I was protecting him all along. He stirs up emotions in me that I had long buried under resentment and pain. Stupid, little me.
“I don’t know to be honest. I guess. Besides Ben, I was trying to deal with my own emotions; I didn’t need anyone giving commentary or advice on it. I had to get my head straight. I don’t know...it just seemed like the right thing to do.”
“Thanks, Frankie,” he gives me a hesitant smile, “but we should tell them. From what I can tell, they are complete dickheads toward you. Maybe this will help to calm things down.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“You don’t want them to know?” He tilts his head, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
Studying the ketchup bottle in front of me, I’m searching for the right words, but there is just no nice way to say this.
“It’s not that.” I look up at him. “I’m just worried you will disappear again and that would only cause more drama. I would not only be the daughter that sleeps around with her brother’s best friend, but who also makes him run away from his own child.”
“I won’t go away.”
“Promise?”
I want to kick myself for asking that, preferably with steel-capped boots. Maybe then I’d fucking learn. Seriously, I am making him promise? Like this is a sure-fire way to keep someone in your life. Why don’t I just make him cross his heart and hope to die? Oh, I’m so pathetic. I feel suddenly like a stupid teenager. “Forget that I said anything. That was stupid.”
Ben smiles at me, but the smile looks pained.
“I know I hurt you. I understand you don’t trust me. I hope to change that again. And I wish I could promise you to never leave, but there might come a day when it’ll be better for Archer and you to not have me in your life and that is when I will leave, but never because I want to.”
Now I’m more confused than
“So you don’t breastfeed him?” Ben asks, eyeing me curiously.
Great. I might not be showing my boobs, but now I’m talking about them.
“I do as long as he wants it and doesn’t get teeth. But I don’t really always feel like whipping my boob out in public,” I laugh, and Ben joins me, although I catch his eyes straying to my chest while he does so. My boobs were never on the small side, but since I’ve had Archer, they are quite impressive. Sometimes I wonder how I manage not to fall over.
By the time our food arrives, Archer has finished his bottle and happily drifted off to sleep in Ben’s arms.
“I’ll get the stroller out of the car so he can sleep in it and you can eat,” I suggest, seeing as Ben might not be trained in the one-handed execution of daily tasks that anyone with a baby becomes a master of.
But Ben only shakes his head at me. “No, it’s fine. He can sleep right here.” It seems Ben doesn’t want to let him go and I’m definitely not going to push him to do so.
“How come your parents don’t know I’m the father?” The question surprises me, but then I was in a trance for a moment, watching Ben and Archer together, trying to smother the little hope that maybe we could end up being a happy family. This is reckless, wishful thinking that will only get me hurt. Go away weird, girly emotions.
“I didn’t want to tell them before you knew. You had a right to know first and to be able to decide what role you want to play in our...I mean in Archer’s life. And I knew they would be disappointed that you left—even if you didn’t know about Archer. I just...,” I trail off, not sure myself if there’s more to it than what I just said out loud.
“So you’ve been catching a lot of flak from them because you wanted to protect me and allow me to make my own decision without any pressure?” His eyes shoot up and he looks at me so intently that I squirm in my seat. I realize that all the anger and disappointment has made me blind to the fact that I was protecting him all along. He stirs up emotions in me that I had long buried under resentment and pain. Stupid, little me.
“I don’t know to be honest. I guess. Besides Ben, I was trying to deal with my own emotions; I didn’t need anyone giving commentary or advice on it. I had to get my head straight. I don’t know...it just seemed like the right thing to do.”
“Thanks, Frankie,” he gives me a hesitant smile, “but we should tell them. From what I can tell, they are complete dickheads toward you. Maybe this will help to calm things down.”
“I don’t know. I’m not sure it’s a good idea.”
“You don’t want them to know?” He tilts his head, his eyebrows raised in surprise.
Studying the ketchup bottle in front of me, I’m searching for the right words, but there is just no nice way to say this.
“It’s not that.” I look up at him. “I’m just worried you will disappear again and that would only cause more drama. I would not only be the daughter that sleeps around with her brother’s best friend, but who also makes him run away from his own child.”
“I won’t go away.”
“Promise?”
I want to kick myself for asking that, preferably with steel-capped boots. Maybe then I’d fucking learn. Seriously, I am making him promise? Like this is a sure-fire way to keep someone in your life. Why don’t I just make him cross his heart and hope to die? Oh, I’m so pathetic. I feel suddenly like a stupid teenager. “Forget that I said anything. That was stupid.”
Ben smiles at me, but the smile looks pained.
“I know I hurt you. I understand you don’t trust me. I hope to change that again. And I wish I could promise you to never leave, but there might come a day when it’ll be better for Archer and you to not have me in your life and that is when I will leave, but never because I want to.”
Now I’m more confused than
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