was there I went to the state fair. So I pay my money to park, and I go through the front gates. And I'm checking things out, sort of getting the lay of the land, trying to figure out where I might want to eat later, when a hundred yards away, I see an elephant.”
“An elephant.”
“Yeah, an elephant. With a saddle. The second I see it, I want to ride it. You have no idea. My mouth dropped open. I literally gasped. I really wanted to ride that elephant. Bad. So I make a beeline for the elephant, but when I get there, there's a huge line.”
“Well that's no big deal.”
“Of course not. Who cares if there's a line. But get this, when I get up to the line, it's all kids.”
“Ooh.”
“Yeah, and not just kids, like...kids, kids. We're talking five year olds, here. Kindergarteners. Every single one. I wasn't even sure if adults were allowed to ride the elephant. So I talked myself out of it. I moved on. I looked at some antique tractors, checked out the farm pavilion...you know, state fair stuff. I didn't play any games, but by the time I went on a few of the carnival rides they had set up, I was about ready to go. I start walking toward the exit, but that's when I realize the elephant is on my way out of the park. I've got another shot! Who cares if most of the people in line are kids? If I want to ride the elephant, I'm gonna ride the elephant.”
“Good for you.”
“I couldn't do it.”
“What?”
“I couldn't do it. I got back to the elephant and it was still all little kids. I totally chickened out. I blew it. That was my one shot, and I blew it. Where am I going to find another elephant to ride?”
“Just go to the state fair again!”
“It was the Arizona state fair. I might never make it out there again.”
“They might have elephants at other fairs. Maybe that one elephant goes to all of them.”
“Yeah, maybe. But I still feel like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I missed it.”
“Man, that's too bad.”
“What can I say? Bucket list.”
I sighed. We rode in silence for a couple miles.
“Hey – you said if I came up with a good one, you'd tell me yours. What was it?”
She looked out the window into the dark.
“I want to have sex in a public place.”
I nodded and gave a little grin.
“Okay.”
She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and grinned back. I switched on the radio and we took turns scanning the stations for songs we recognized. We drove for a while like that without talking. It was nice.
“What do you think happens when you die?”
I hadn't told her about my dad. I wondered if she still would've asked if she had known. It made me realize that we didn't know each other all that well. We'd seen each other a couple times since the party, and we'd been messaging, but still... Either way, I wasn't sure how to answer.
“I don't know. What brought that up?”
“Bucket lists.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“So what do you think?”
“I guess that depends on whether you think people have souls or not.”
“So what do you think?!”
“Do we have to talk about this?”
She seemed a little miffed.
“Fine, you don't have to answer.”
I felt bad for bringing the mood down.
“I don't know what happens when we die. I want to believe there's something more, but there isn't any scientific reason to believe that you're more than just your brain.”
“That's rough.”
“Depressing, right? Maybe there's more. There's so much we don't know about how the brain works, who's to say the part that's you doesn't still exist on some level.”
“Doesn't sound like you're very religious.”
“I was raised religious, I just... What about you? What do you think?”
“I like the idea of reincarnation, but I don't believe in it.”
“What do you believe in?”
“I think good people go to heaven, but I don't believe you sprout wings
“An elephant.”
“Yeah, an elephant. With a saddle. The second I see it, I want to ride it. You have no idea. My mouth dropped open. I literally gasped. I really wanted to ride that elephant. Bad. So I make a beeline for the elephant, but when I get there, there's a huge line.”
“Well that's no big deal.”
“Of course not. Who cares if there's a line. But get this, when I get up to the line, it's all kids.”
“Ooh.”
“Yeah, and not just kids, like...kids, kids. We're talking five year olds, here. Kindergarteners. Every single one. I wasn't even sure if adults were allowed to ride the elephant. So I talked myself out of it. I moved on. I looked at some antique tractors, checked out the farm pavilion...you know, state fair stuff. I didn't play any games, but by the time I went on a few of the carnival rides they had set up, I was about ready to go. I start walking toward the exit, but that's when I realize the elephant is on my way out of the park. I've got another shot! Who cares if most of the people in line are kids? If I want to ride the elephant, I'm gonna ride the elephant.”
“Good for you.”
“I couldn't do it.”
“What?”
“I couldn't do it. I got back to the elephant and it was still all little kids. I totally chickened out. I blew it. That was my one shot, and I blew it. Where am I going to find another elephant to ride?”
“Just go to the state fair again!”
“It was the Arizona state fair. I might never make it out there again.”
“They might have elephants at other fairs. Maybe that one elephant goes to all of them.”
“Yeah, maybe. But I still feel like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I missed it.”
“Man, that's too bad.”
“What can I say? Bucket list.”
I sighed. We rode in silence for a couple miles.
“Hey – you said if I came up with a good one, you'd tell me yours. What was it?”
She looked out the window into the dark.
“I want to have sex in a public place.”
I nodded and gave a little grin.
“Okay.”
She glanced at me out of the corner of her eye and grinned back. I switched on the radio and we took turns scanning the stations for songs we recognized. We drove for a while like that without talking. It was nice.
“What do you think happens when you die?”
I hadn't told her about my dad. I wondered if she still would've asked if she had known. It made me realize that we didn't know each other all that well. We'd seen each other a couple times since the party, and we'd been messaging, but still... Either way, I wasn't sure how to answer.
“I don't know. What brought that up?”
“Bucket lists.”
“Oh. Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”
“So what do you think?”
“I guess that depends on whether you think people have souls or not.”
“So what do you think?!”
“Do we have to talk about this?”
She seemed a little miffed.
“Fine, you don't have to answer.”
I felt bad for bringing the mood down.
“I don't know what happens when we die. I want to believe there's something more, but there isn't any scientific reason to believe that you're more than just your brain.”
“That's rough.”
“Depressing, right? Maybe there's more. There's so much we don't know about how the brain works, who's to say the part that's you doesn't still exist on some level.”
“Doesn't sound like you're very religious.”
“I was raised religious, I just... What about you? What do you think?”
“I like the idea of reincarnation, but I don't believe in it.”
“What do you believe in?”
“I think good people go to heaven, but I don't believe you sprout wings
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