Read Online Tears of a Tiger by Sharon M. Draper - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Sharon M. Draper
Ads: Link
feel anythinâ anymore, and everythinâ would be cool again. I think I even leaned over, really ready to join those bullet-things down below.
âSo what happened then?
âKeisha grabbed my jacket and screamed at me, âAndy Jackson! Get your stupid butt away from that railing! Are you crazy?â Itâs like I sorta came to then, and I looked at her as if she was from another planet. I guess I was the one actinâ spacey, but she just told me to take her home. By the time we got to her house, it had started to snow, and we were both breathinâ normally again.
âDid she say anything else?
âNo. I just looked at her, and I said, like real soft and easyââThanks.â Then I kissed her real lightly on the lips and went home. We never mentioned it again. And nothinâ like that ever happened again.
âWhy did you say you felt like you should be down there with the cars? Did you feel like you wanted to die?
âDie?â¦Yeahâ¦. Noâ¦. I donât know. Why you talkinâ âbout dyinâ?
âHave you ever thought about being dead, Andy?
âI used to. Right after the accident I wanted to be dead. I wanted it to be me that was dead instead of Rob. I wanted the hurtinâ to go away.
âWhat about now? Do you ever think about death?
âTo tell you the truth, man, I think about it all the time.
âDoes that frighten you?
âYeah, sometimes. It seems like beinâ dead is the only way Iâll ever feel alive again. Does that make sense?
âSure it does, Andy. Youâre hurting and you canât find an escape from the pain and youâre frightened because the only way out seems to be something you canât even verbalize. Am I right?
âYeah, man. Youâre the first person that will even talk about death to me. People are scared of it, and nobody, not even my friends and family, wants to talk about it. Itâs kinda a relief to bring it out finally.
âThereâs nothing wrong with thinking about or talking about death, Andy. And itâs normal for your thoughts to center on this subject. After all, the death of a friend is a traumatic experience in itself.
âSo I ainât crazy?
âNot even a little bit.
âSuppose itâs more than just thinkinâ about death in general. Suppose I told you I sometimes think about killinâ myself.
âIâd say Iâm not surprised. Sometimes itâs part of the guilt and grieving processâto consider suicide as an alternative to the pain. But the answer is life, Andy, not death. So then Iâd tell you about the other alternatives to help eliminate the pain.
âLike what?
âLike talking to Robâs parents. Like writing a letter to Rob. Like talking to other kids who might consider drinking and driving. Do you think you could handle any of those?
âYeah, probably. Maybe. I donât really know.
âAnd then Iâd ask you to promise me that if you got so depressed that you didnât think you could handle the situation, youâd call me before you did anything to harm yourself. Could you promise that?
âYeah, Iâd call you. But I ainât stupid, man. I might think about it, I might even threaten it, but I ainât hardly gonna kill myself. I ainât got the nerve.
âThatâs good. Do you feel a little better now that weâve verbalized some things that you were unsure of or unwilling to talk about?
âYeah, I do.
âDo you think if you wrote a letter to Rob, or to his parents, it would help eliminate some of the pain?
âI donât know. I never thought about it.
âWhy donât you try to write one of those letters and bring it next time that you come, okay?
âDag! Now I got homework from my shrink! I canât win.
âYes, you can, Andy. Youâre a winner all the way.
âYou really think so?
âI know so. You remember nowâyou
âSo what happened then?
âKeisha grabbed my jacket and screamed at me, âAndy Jackson! Get your stupid butt away from that railing! Are you crazy?â Itâs like I sorta came to then, and I looked at her as if she was from another planet. I guess I was the one actinâ spacey, but she just told me to take her home. By the time we got to her house, it had started to snow, and we were both breathinâ normally again.
âDid she say anything else?
âNo. I just looked at her, and I said, like real soft and easyââThanks.â Then I kissed her real lightly on the lips and went home. We never mentioned it again. And nothinâ like that ever happened again.
âWhy did you say you felt like you should be down there with the cars? Did you feel like you wanted to die?
âDie?â¦Yeahâ¦. Noâ¦. I donât know. Why you talkinâ âbout dyinâ?
âHave you ever thought about being dead, Andy?
âI used to. Right after the accident I wanted to be dead. I wanted it to be me that was dead instead of Rob. I wanted the hurtinâ to go away.
âWhat about now? Do you ever think about death?
âTo tell you the truth, man, I think about it all the time.
âDoes that frighten you?
âYeah, sometimes. It seems like beinâ dead is the only way Iâll ever feel alive again. Does that make sense?
âSure it does, Andy. Youâre hurting and you canât find an escape from the pain and youâre frightened because the only way out seems to be something you canât even verbalize. Am I right?
âYeah, man. Youâre the first person that will even talk about death to me. People are scared of it, and nobody, not even my friends and family, wants to talk about it. Itâs kinda a relief to bring it out finally.
âThereâs nothing wrong with thinking about or talking about death, Andy. And itâs normal for your thoughts to center on this subject. After all, the death of a friend is a traumatic experience in itself.
âSo I ainât crazy?
âNot even a little bit.
âSuppose itâs more than just thinkinâ about death in general. Suppose I told you I sometimes think about killinâ myself.
âIâd say Iâm not surprised. Sometimes itâs part of the guilt and grieving processâto consider suicide as an alternative to the pain. But the answer is life, Andy, not death. So then Iâd tell you about the other alternatives to help eliminate the pain.
âLike what?
âLike talking to Robâs parents. Like writing a letter to Rob. Like talking to other kids who might consider drinking and driving. Do you think you could handle any of those?
âYeah, probably. Maybe. I donât really know.
âAnd then Iâd ask you to promise me that if you got so depressed that you didnât think you could handle the situation, youâd call me before you did anything to harm yourself. Could you promise that?
âYeah, Iâd call you. But I ainât stupid, man. I might think about it, I might even threaten it, but I ainât hardly gonna kill myself. I ainât got the nerve.
âThatâs good. Do you feel a little better now that weâve verbalized some things that you were unsure of or unwilling to talk about?
âYeah, I do.
âDo you think if you wrote a letter to Rob, or to his parents, it would help eliminate some of the pain?
âI donât know. I never thought about it.
âWhy donât you try to write one of those letters and bring it next time that you come, okay?
âDag! Now I got homework from my shrink! I canât win.
âYes, you can, Andy. Youâre a winner all the way.
âYou really think so?
âI know so. You remember nowâyou
Similar Books
