Read Online TALES FROM THE SCRIPT: THE BEHIND-THE-CAMERA ADVENTURES OF A TV COMEDY WRITER by Gene Perret - Free Book Online Page B
Authors: Gene Perret
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Entrance,” passing celebrities in the corridors,
writing on a national television show, and working with veterans who
had written for legends like Jack Benny and George Burns was overwhelming to me. The writers’ meetings were especially intimidating.
i was hesitant to speak up.
Often, we discussed a problem with the script and i’d have an idea,
but was reluctant to verbalize it. Those guys picked on me enough for
my clothes; i didn’t want my ideas ridiculed, too.
The meeting continued with many suggestions offered and rejected.
Then, someone came up with the very idea that i had been
keeping locked securely in my private world. They said something like,
“Why don’t we let Jim nabors play the dummy role and have Frank
Sutton play the ventriloquist?” Everyone in the room shouted huzzahs.
“That’s a great idea. Reverse the roles. Wonderful idea! Brilliant idea!”
i wanted to stand and shout, “i thought of that twenty minutes
ago, but i was too shy to tell you guys.” it was too late for that, though.
All i could do was vow that next time i would speak up sooner, but i
didn’t for a long time.
65
Those first few months were difficult for me, a first time staff
writer. My cockiness kept me going, though. i knew i was funny and
a superb writer. i believed that firmly until i wrote something.
After i handed in my first complete sketch, the producers, Duke
Vincent and Bruce Johnson, called me into their office. i went expecting glorious kudos and a generous raise.
“This sketch needs a major rewrite,” is what i got.
i said, “Really? i think that sketch is very funny.”
“But it needs work,” Duke and Bruce insisted.
i said, “i don’t think i can make it much funnier than that. i
worked hard on it and don’t think it needs a big rewrite.”
The producers were patient with me and very kind. They said,
“Do you really think it’s funny?”
i said, “Yes.”
They asked, “Do you think it’s perfect as is?”
i said, “i think it is.”
They said, “Fine, then let’s read it through.”
“All right,” i agreed. i was sure that once they heard this out loud
they would see the error of their initial judgment.
They each took certain parts to read and assigned me the role of
the star. i was to read the Jim nabors part.
We began.
The first joke got a nice laugh from them.
“That’s a good joke,” Duke said.
i accepted the compliment quietly and modestly because i knew
it was a very good joke.
We read some more and the script drew several more good laughs.
Then we read and we read and we read.
They stopped, and Bruce asked, “Have you noticed anything?”
i said, “Yes.”
Duke said, “What?”
i said, “i haven’t said anything for a very long time.”
Bruce said, “You haven’t spoken for twelve pages.”
Duke said, “Your sketch is very funny, but you have the star of the
show standing on stage ‘catching flies.’”
i then knew the sketch badly needed a major rewrite, so i gathered up the pages and went back to my office.
i learned a lot on that writing staff. Among other things, i learned
that the other writers were nuts. One time, i had lunch with my writing partner at the famous Joe Allen’s restaurant. As we were leaving, a
tourist couple stopped us at the front door and said to my partner, “Sir,
would you take a picture of my wife and me in front of this restaurant?”
Without missing a beat or a step, he said to them, “i would love to,
but i don’t have my camera with me,” and continued walking.
The gentleman stared after him with a look of bewilderment on
his face and, of course, his own instamatic in his hand.
The writers continued to kid me as the naïve newcomer to the
profession, but they also welcomed me to the fraternity. They allowed
me to become a part of their drinking group that met almost daily at
the City Slicker, a bar across the street from the CBS Television City
Studios, and they arranged for me to open up a running bar
writing on a national television show, and working with veterans who
had written for legends like Jack Benny and George Burns was overwhelming to me. The writers’ meetings were especially intimidating.
i was hesitant to speak up.
Often, we discussed a problem with the script and i’d have an idea,
but was reluctant to verbalize it. Those guys picked on me enough for
my clothes; i didn’t want my ideas ridiculed, too.
The meeting continued with many suggestions offered and rejected.
Then, someone came up with the very idea that i had been
keeping locked securely in my private world. They said something like,
“Why don’t we let Jim nabors play the dummy role and have Frank
Sutton play the ventriloquist?” Everyone in the room shouted huzzahs.
“That’s a great idea. Reverse the roles. Wonderful idea! Brilliant idea!”
i wanted to stand and shout, “i thought of that twenty minutes
ago, but i was too shy to tell you guys.” it was too late for that, though.
All i could do was vow that next time i would speak up sooner, but i
didn’t for a long time.
65
Those first few months were difficult for me, a first time staff
writer. My cockiness kept me going, though. i knew i was funny and
a superb writer. i believed that firmly until i wrote something.
After i handed in my first complete sketch, the producers, Duke
Vincent and Bruce Johnson, called me into their office. i went expecting glorious kudos and a generous raise.
“This sketch needs a major rewrite,” is what i got.
i said, “Really? i think that sketch is very funny.”
“But it needs work,” Duke and Bruce insisted.
i said, “i don’t think i can make it much funnier than that. i
worked hard on it and don’t think it needs a big rewrite.”
The producers were patient with me and very kind. They said,
“Do you really think it’s funny?”
i said, “Yes.”
They asked, “Do you think it’s perfect as is?”
i said, “i think it is.”
They said, “Fine, then let’s read it through.”
“All right,” i agreed. i was sure that once they heard this out loud
they would see the error of their initial judgment.
They each took certain parts to read and assigned me the role of
the star. i was to read the Jim nabors part.
We began.
The first joke got a nice laugh from them.
“That’s a good joke,” Duke said.
i accepted the compliment quietly and modestly because i knew
it was a very good joke.
We read some more and the script drew several more good laughs.
Then we read and we read and we read.
They stopped, and Bruce asked, “Have you noticed anything?”
i said, “Yes.”
Duke said, “What?”
i said, “i haven’t said anything for a very long time.”
Bruce said, “You haven’t spoken for twelve pages.”
Duke said, “Your sketch is very funny, but you have the star of the
show standing on stage ‘catching flies.’”
i then knew the sketch badly needed a major rewrite, so i gathered up the pages and went back to my office.
i learned a lot on that writing staff. Among other things, i learned
that the other writers were nuts. One time, i had lunch with my writing partner at the famous Joe Allen’s restaurant. As we were leaving, a
tourist couple stopped us at the front door and said to my partner, “Sir,
would you take a picture of my wife and me in front of this restaurant?”
Without missing a beat or a step, he said to them, “i would love to,
but i don’t have my camera with me,” and continued walking.
The gentleman stared after him with a look of bewilderment on
his face and, of course, his own instamatic in his hand.
The writers continued to kid me as the naïve newcomer to the
profession, but they also welcomed me to the fraternity. They allowed
me to become a part of their drinking group that met almost daily at
the City Slicker, a bar across the street from the CBS Television City
Studios, and they arranged for me to open up a running bar
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