Read Online Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life by Rachel Renée Russell - Free Book Online Page A
Authors: Rachel Renée Russell
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because dance squad meant automatic membership in the CCP clique.
Our teacher smiled and said, “Girls, if we were doing the section on contemporary dance, you would have definitely gotten an A+!”
After hearing that, I was pretty sure she was going to give us a good grade on our routine even though we had made it up on the spot and with the wrong music.
Then our teacher stopped smiling.
“The three of you were supposed to be doing classical ballet, but you weren’t even close. The highest grade I can give you is a D. I’m really sorry.”
We were like, OH. NO. SHE. DIDN’T!! Me, Chloe, and Zoey were CRUSHED! (LITERALLY.)
Then I screamed at my teacher, “Are you NUTS?! How in the world can you give us a D? Do you even realize how tricky those dance steps were? It was definitely A LOT harder than it looked! Let mesee YOU try to moonwalk like a zombie, sister!”
But I just said all of that in my head, so no one heard it but me.
And get this! Then our teacher had the nerve to tell us to “hit the showers”! Like, what did showering have to do with classical ballet?! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!
I was a little peeved at Chloe and Zoey, because if they had NOT been wasting time whining about tattoos and National Library Week, we could have made up a decent ballet routine to the correct music and maybe earned at least a C. But NOOOOOO!
Then, at lunch, things went from bad to worse. Chloe and Zoey had a
TOTAL MELTDOWN!
They actually came up with this elaborate scheme to run away from home and live in the secretunderground tunnels beneath the New York City Public Library!
But the crazy part was that they planned to leave this Friday, and then just “hang out” for seven whole months until National Library Week rolled around in April.
They figured that, by arriving early, they’d get in FREE and be FIRST in line for the author “Meet-n-Greet.”
Chloe said residing at the library was going to be an “exhilarating experience,” because they could read all the books they wanted, twenty-four hours a day, without having to check them out or reshelve them.
And Zoey said they were going to live off Diet Pepsi and nachos, which they planned to SWIPE from the library snack bar each night!
I CANNOT believe Chloe and Zoey are actually going to do something so crazy, dangerous, and illegal.
And I plan to do everything within my power to STOP them!
WHY?!
Because Chloe and Zoey are my BEST friends at this school!
And my ONLY friends at this school! But that’s beside the point.
Unfortunately, I only have TWO options:
1. Rat them out to their ’rents and risk losing their friendship forever
OR
2. Figure out a way to get girlfriends some tattoos for National Library Week PDQ (which, BTW, means “pretty darn quick”)!!
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
I hardly got any sleep last night! I kept having horrible nightmares about Chloe and Zoey living in the secret underground tunnels beneath the NYC public library.
In one of my dreams, they were having a dinner party with some of their neighbors.
And in the scariest one, I got married to Brandon Roberts and Chloe and Zoey were bridesmaids. But they brought a few uninvited guests to my wedding!
OUR WEDDING
I actually woke up SCREAMING my head off until I realized it was all just a very bad dream!
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
This morning at breakfast my little sister, Brianna, got on my last nerve.
I was just sitting there, eating my Cinnamon Life, reading the back of the cereal box, and trying to figure out what I was going to do about the Chloe and Zoey situation.
They were planning to leave in less than twenty-four hours.
Brianna was eating Fruity Pebbles and drawing a face on her hand with an ink pen. She said she was naming the face “Miss Penelope” because she was “borned from a pen.”
BRIANNA’S HAND
“Got milk?!”
Even though I was trying to
Our teacher smiled and said, “Girls, if we were doing the section on contemporary dance, you would have definitely gotten an A+!”
After hearing that, I was pretty sure she was going to give us a good grade on our routine even though we had made it up on the spot and with the wrong music.
Then our teacher stopped smiling.
“The three of you were supposed to be doing classical ballet, but you weren’t even close. The highest grade I can give you is a D. I’m really sorry.”
We were like, OH. NO. SHE. DIDN’T!! Me, Chloe, and Zoey were CRUSHED! (LITERALLY.)
Then I screamed at my teacher, “Are you NUTS?! How in the world can you give us a D? Do you even realize how tricky those dance steps were? It was definitely A LOT harder than it looked! Let mesee YOU try to moonwalk like a zombie, sister!”
But I just said all of that in my head, so no one heard it but me.
And get this! Then our teacher had the nerve to tell us to “hit the showers”! Like, what did showering have to do with classical ballet?! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!
I was a little peeved at Chloe and Zoey, because if they had NOT been wasting time whining about tattoos and National Library Week, we could have made up a decent ballet routine to the correct music and maybe earned at least a C. But NOOOOOO!
Then, at lunch, things went from bad to worse. Chloe and Zoey had a
TOTAL MELTDOWN!
They actually came up with this elaborate scheme to run away from home and live in the secretunderground tunnels beneath the New York City Public Library!
But the crazy part was that they planned to leave this Friday, and then just “hang out” for seven whole months until National Library Week rolled around in April.
They figured that, by arriving early, they’d get in FREE and be FIRST in line for the author “Meet-n-Greet.”
Chloe said residing at the library was going to be an “exhilarating experience,” because they could read all the books they wanted, twenty-four hours a day, without having to check them out or reshelve them.
And Zoey said they were going to live off Diet Pepsi and nachos, which they planned to SWIPE from the library snack bar each night!
I CANNOT believe Chloe and Zoey are actually going to do something so crazy, dangerous, and illegal.
And I plan to do everything within my power to STOP them!
WHY?!
Because Chloe and Zoey are my BEST friends at this school!
And my ONLY friends at this school! But that’s beside the point.
Unfortunately, I only have TWO options:
1. Rat them out to their ’rents and risk losing their friendship forever
OR
2. Figure out a way to get girlfriends some tattoos for National Library Week PDQ (which, BTW, means “pretty darn quick”)!!
WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 25
I hardly got any sleep last night! I kept having horrible nightmares about Chloe and Zoey living in the secret underground tunnels beneath the NYC public library.
In one of my dreams, they were having a dinner party with some of their neighbors.
And in the scariest one, I got married to Brandon Roberts and Chloe and Zoey were bridesmaids. But they brought a few uninvited guests to my wedding!
OUR WEDDING
I actually woke up SCREAMING my head off until I realized it was all just a very bad dream!
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 26
This morning at breakfast my little sister, Brianna, got on my last nerve.
I was just sitting there, eating my Cinnamon Life, reading the back of the cereal box, and trying to figure out what I was going to do about the Chloe and Zoey situation.
They were planning to leave in less than twenty-four hours.
Brianna was eating Fruity Pebbles and drawing a face on her hand with an ink pen. She said she was naming the face “Miss Penelope” because she was “borned from a pen.”
BRIANNA’S HAND
“Got milk?!”
Even though I was trying to
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