Read Online Tales From a Broad by LLC Melange Books - Free Book Online Page A

us.
    “Hello,” I replied, kind of confusedly. The
look on my face must have mirrored what was going on in my
brain.
    “Is something wrong?” she said in a kind
voice. The waitress placed the menu on her table and walked
away.
    “Oh, no. I just think you might be getting me
mixed up with my sister. It happens all the time. She looks exactly
like me—in an older version,” I said, chuckling.
    Jolanda gave me a strange, sideways look. I
tucked my hair behind my ears and started to fidget. I could
actually feel my face flush. “It’s been a rough week. I don’t
usually look this bad.”
    She shook her head quickly as if to erase me.
“ Vaat ? I think I need my coffee. Vat do you mean ... your
sister? I just said Morgen .” She threw up her hands.
    “Right. That’s her name.” I was starting to
lose patience.
    Jolanda drew in a breath. “I’m going to...”
she trailed off pointing to her seat.
    I simply nodded.
    A man walked past us and smiled.
“ Morgen , ladies.”
    “Goademorgen ,” Jolanda answered.
    I closed my eyes in shame.
    “Bonjour , Le Palais ,” said the
voice at the other end of my phone. I perked up, feeling much more
hopeful for Paris. However, first, I just had to get through this
day.
    * * * *
    A visit to the Van Gogh Museum, a tour of
Anne Frank’s house, and one boat cruise later, we stumbled out of a
coffee shop in the red light district. “Pot and coffee—kind of
counterproductive, no?” I grabbed Tess’s arm for support.
    “It works just fine for me, partner!” Tess
sang gleefully. She linked my elbow with hers and swung me around
as if we were doing a square dance. I planted my feet firmly on the
ground and without missing a beat, Tess traded me for a
lamppost.
    “I don’t know how I let you talk me into
this,” I said. “When you asked if I wanted to share a dessert, I
was thinking more along the lines of oh, I don’t know. Maybe a
slice of Dutch apple pie? A piece of almond cake? Not a hash
brownie. If your mother could see us now.”
    “Shh.” Tess held a finger to her lips as she
reverted back to her do-si-do with the lamppost. “I say, what
happens in Amsterdam, stays in Amsterdam.”
    “You got that right,” I agreed. “Isn’t pot
supposed to make everyone laugh and act silly? Figures I’m the one
percent who has the adverse reaction.”
    “Maybe you need a little more help to beat
the blues.” Tess had a glimmer in her eye as she rubbed her hands
together.
    “Um, I don’t think so. The pot did nothing
but help me greet the blues, thank you very much. You know,
you shouldn’t have let me do this,” I scolded.
    “I don’t recall tying your hands behind your
back. Since when am I in charge of you ?”
    Her hand flew to her mouth in horror, and she
gasped, stopping in her tracks. “Oh my God. What if I’m really Aunt
Tess and you’re really my niece, Lucy?”
    I closed my eyes in despair. “We are going
right back to the hostel, I can’t even imagine what your mother
would say if she knew ...”
    “My mother would probably say we should stop
and eat something. I’ve got the munchies and Dutch candy from the
vending machine ain’t gonna cut it!”
    “Fine,” I said sternly, steering her body in
the direction of our hostel. “First food and then we’re going
back.” I looked at my watch. It was eight p.m., which meant that it
was two p.m., in New York, the exact time our ceremony was supposed
to have started. I willed myself not to think about it. Eat and go
to bed. The day would be over soon.
    I sulked my way through the city, and we
ended up at the same diner we ate at this morning. The waitress
came to take our order.
    “I would love some eggs, please.” That’s when
the floodgates opened. I put my head down on the table, banged my
fists, and started to sob. “I just want some friggin’ eggs.”
    “She, um, can’t have kids,” Tess said in an
obnoxiously loud whisper. “Then her fiancée cancelled their
wedding. It would have been