to me again. “Don’t worry; you’re not high up at all. It just looks that way from up there. On three, okay?”
I winced at the ground and nodded.
She counted me off. “One… two… three.”
I slid forward and Cammie gripped my arms, helping me stick the landing and then propping me up when I accidentally stumbled forward into her. My hat bumped hers, indirectly yanking at my hair. “Ow!”
“Shh—don’t scare him,” she retorted, rubbing at a spot on her head and fixing both of our hats. When I’d finally gotten myself together, she gestured to the clearing. “Anyway, here we are. Not much, I know, but I haven’t brought many people here so you should feel special.”
“Did everyone you’ve shown it to get to see it on the first day?” I asked, raising an eyebrow smugly.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s the second day, technically, and no. But it’s different; you’re living with me. If you ever need a place to think or be alone, I know it can get kind of crazy back there, so this is where I come. Sometimes alone at night to watch the stars.”
“That sounds dangerous,” I said.
“There’s no one here; we live in the middle of nowhere,” she pointed out. “And Aerosmith would notice if something was up, anyway. C’mon.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me to center of the clearing, where she sat down and tilted her head up toward the sky. I took a seat beside her.
“Why are you showing me this?”
She was quiet for a moment, and pulled up a few blades of grass with one hand. At last, she shrugged, avoiding my eyes. “I guess… things just get a little rough around here sometimes. I like coming here to get away and I thought you might like it too.” She shrugged again. “As for why I brought you here so soon… I know we seem like a stereotype. Our family. But when I was twelve, I slept in a bed a few feet away from a fourteen-year-old cocaine addict, you know? What we do isn’t easy.”
She looked at me, finally, and I stared back. I hadn’t considered that at all since learning I’d be coming here. David mentioned he’d been doing this for ten years. Cammie would’ve been seven years old, and Scott, ten.
“I still remember the first time we had a girl. I was nine, and she was thirteen. Dad didn’t give me any responsibility to watch out for her or anything, but that didn’t change how I felt when she told me she was just going to the bathroom and then relapsed and cut herself. The people that come here have issues, and I know that. And I know that you’re not just here for attendance. But God, those kids hated us. It took weeks for them to even have real conversations. You’re different. You’re out here with me on the first day.”
“I’m sorry I’m spineless,” I murmured, humbled by her story. “I meant to be more of a pain in the ass.”
“I don’t think it’s spineless. I think you just have more going on than we can see. Because we knew that that girl had a cocaine addiction, and we knew that the other one self-harmed. Or at least my dad knew, but I could tell the other kids had stuff going on, you know? But you seem perfectly normal to me. Maybe just a little disgruntled, but frankly, you’re kind of entitled to it.”
“Finally someone admits it.” I sighed with relief.
She forced a smile before continuing, “I know about the attendance thing, but I also know that can’t be the only reason you’re here. I don’t know what your other issues are, and I guess I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, or if it’s scarier. But what I do know is that you’re out here, helping – even if I have to use that term very loosely for the time being – and that can’t be a bad thing. So I hope that while you are here, we can be friends. And this clearing is my olive branch to you.”
She offered me another smile; this one was sincere. “I hope you decide to make an effort while you’re here, Lauren. ”
Chapter Four
I
I winced at the ground and nodded.
She counted me off. “One… two… three.”
I slid forward and Cammie gripped my arms, helping me stick the landing and then propping me up when I accidentally stumbled forward into her. My hat bumped hers, indirectly yanking at my hair. “Ow!”
“Shh—don’t scare him,” she retorted, rubbing at a spot on her head and fixing both of our hats. When I’d finally gotten myself together, she gestured to the clearing. “Anyway, here we are. Not much, I know, but I haven’t brought many people here so you should feel special.”
“Did everyone you’ve shown it to get to see it on the first day?” I asked, raising an eyebrow smugly.
She rolled her eyes. “It’s the second day, technically, and no. But it’s different; you’re living with me. If you ever need a place to think or be alone, I know it can get kind of crazy back there, so this is where I come. Sometimes alone at night to watch the stars.”
“That sounds dangerous,” I said.
“There’s no one here; we live in the middle of nowhere,” she pointed out. “And Aerosmith would notice if something was up, anyway. C’mon.” She grabbed my hand and tugged me to center of the clearing, where she sat down and tilted her head up toward the sky. I took a seat beside her.
“Why are you showing me this?”
She was quiet for a moment, and pulled up a few blades of grass with one hand. At last, she shrugged, avoiding my eyes. “I guess… things just get a little rough around here sometimes. I like coming here to get away and I thought you might like it too.” She shrugged again. “As for why I brought you here so soon… I know we seem like a stereotype. Our family. But when I was twelve, I slept in a bed a few feet away from a fourteen-year-old cocaine addict, you know? What we do isn’t easy.”
She looked at me, finally, and I stared back. I hadn’t considered that at all since learning I’d be coming here. David mentioned he’d been doing this for ten years. Cammie would’ve been seven years old, and Scott, ten.
“I still remember the first time we had a girl. I was nine, and she was thirteen. Dad didn’t give me any responsibility to watch out for her or anything, but that didn’t change how I felt when she told me she was just going to the bathroom and then relapsed and cut herself. The people that come here have issues, and I know that. And I know that you’re not just here for attendance. But God, those kids hated us. It took weeks for them to even have real conversations. You’re different. You’re out here with me on the first day.”
“I’m sorry I’m spineless,” I murmured, humbled by her story. “I meant to be more of a pain in the ass.”
“I don’t think it’s spineless. I think you just have more going on than we can see. Because we knew that that girl had a cocaine addiction, and we knew that the other one self-harmed. Or at least my dad knew, but I could tell the other kids had stuff going on, you know? But you seem perfectly normal to me. Maybe just a little disgruntled, but frankly, you’re kind of entitled to it.”
“Finally someone admits it.” I sighed with relief.
She forced a smile before continuing, “I know about the attendance thing, but I also know that can’t be the only reason you’re here. I don’t know what your other issues are, and I guess I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not, or if it’s scarier. But what I do know is that you’re out here, helping – even if I have to use that term very loosely for the time being – and that can’t be a bad thing. So I hope that while you are here, we can be friends. And this clearing is my olive branch to you.”
She offered me another smile; this one was sincere. “I hope you decide to make an effort while you’re here, Lauren. ”
Chapter Four
I
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