the plate away and pats his stomach then gives me an intense stare, before saying, “I um ... wanted to talk to you. Um ... about last night ... when we ... when I ... kissed you.”
Okay. Good conversation topic. I'd like to talk about that as well. Although I'd rather a re-enactment. Mmmm ... that thought makes my cheeks flush, and my heart rate increases a little. We've managed to keep the conversation away from that until now.
I give him a quick smile. “Okay.”
He doesn't smile back, instead he twists his lips and leans forward.
Uh-oh! This doesn't look good. He looks way too serious.
“I um ... shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have given you the wrong impression.”
Shit. Where is this coming from?
I thought we were past the hating me stage and moving on to the liking me stage.
I suck in a quiet breath. Hold it together JJ.
“Okay,” I say again, because I have no clue what else to say.
Tanning blows out a breath. “I just. Um ... wasn’t thinking straight. I'm really glad I've got to know you again, though. Can we call a truce and be friends?”
Oh great. The friends speech. I can honestly say, I have never given, or received this speech before. I've heard other girls cry about it, and thought they were pathetic. Normally I either dumped the guy, or he left town. End of story. No let's be friends. What the hell?
Now the fake smile appears. There it is. So I haven't lost it. My insides are squirming and I'm screaming in my head, but no one would know. The fake smile hides it all. And this time I'm really hoping it hides my true feelings from Tanning. I should have known better. I shouldn't have let him get to me. I am so stupid.
“Yeah. Friends would be good,” I say and sound so sincere. I should have been an actress.
Tanning leans his elbows on the table and looks at me. I turn my head toward the clock on the wall, like I'm checking the time. I don't want him looking too closely. I can feel a huge lump in my throat and the tears burning the back of my eyes. I dig my nails into the palms of my hands to keep a grip.
“I just think, we'd be better as friends,” he says softly and glances at my stomach.
Oh. Light bulb moment.
Of course. I'm a package deal most guys run a mile from. I thought … no, I hoped, Tanning might be different. Like Cam is. I'm pretty sure he’ll get over Bailey being pregnant, because he loves her and that's the bottom line. Obviously Tanning isn't like that. And I get it. I really do. I mean who wants to take their pregnant girlfriend home to meet their nice conservative parents when the baby isn't his. A guy like Tanning wouldn't want that kind of mess in his nice life.
Now the tears are really threatening. I need to get out of here.
“Shit, look at the time. I have to go. I forgot I've got a salon appointment.” I get up taking the plate and cups, dumping them in the sink.
I give Tanning another smile and it takes all my strength to keep it pasted on my face. “I'll, um catch you later.”
He keeps looking at me, like he doesn't quite believe me, but he doesn't move. I don't wait any longer. I'm going to lose it big time, and there is only one place I can go where no one will follow, or find me. So I rush out of the room and grab my purse on the way down the hall. Once I reach my car I push on the handle with shaking hands and get in. I let out the first sob and the threatening tears start to stream down my face. I continue to put the keys in the ignition and start the beetle, then I slam it into reverse and set off down the drive.
I drive out of town heading for Wicca Woods. That place always calms me. Most people are freaked out by the alleged goings on there. Me. I just find it peaceful. And right now I need some peace. A place to think and process. A place to set my thoughts straight. I turn down the dirt track and pass the bloodied sign. Such a touristy thing, but I like it. I head for Lover's Lane. The place where it's said two lovers
Okay. Good conversation topic. I'd like to talk about that as well. Although I'd rather a re-enactment. Mmmm ... that thought makes my cheeks flush, and my heart rate increases a little. We've managed to keep the conversation away from that until now.
I give him a quick smile. “Okay.”
He doesn't smile back, instead he twists his lips and leans forward.
Uh-oh! This doesn't look good. He looks way too serious.
“I um ... shouldn't have done that. I shouldn't have given you the wrong impression.”
Shit. Where is this coming from?
I thought we were past the hating me stage and moving on to the liking me stage.
I suck in a quiet breath. Hold it together JJ.
“Okay,” I say again, because I have no clue what else to say.
Tanning blows out a breath. “I just. Um ... wasn’t thinking straight. I'm really glad I've got to know you again, though. Can we call a truce and be friends?”
Oh great. The friends speech. I can honestly say, I have never given, or received this speech before. I've heard other girls cry about it, and thought they were pathetic. Normally I either dumped the guy, or he left town. End of story. No let's be friends. What the hell?
Now the fake smile appears. There it is. So I haven't lost it. My insides are squirming and I'm screaming in my head, but no one would know. The fake smile hides it all. And this time I'm really hoping it hides my true feelings from Tanning. I should have known better. I shouldn't have let him get to me. I am so stupid.
“Yeah. Friends would be good,” I say and sound so sincere. I should have been an actress.
Tanning leans his elbows on the table and looks at me. I turn my head toward the clock on the wall, like I'm checking the time. I don't want him looking too closely. I can feel a huge lump in my throat and the tears burning the back of my eyes. I dig my nails into the palms of my hands to keep a grip.
“I just think, we'd be better as friends,” he says softly and glances at my stomach.
Oh. Light bulb moment.
Of course. I'm a package deal most guys run a mile from. I thought … no, I hoped, Tanning might be different. Like Cam is. I'm pretty sure he’ll get over Bailey being pregnant, because he loves her and that's the bottom line. Obviously Tanning isn't like that. And I get it. I really do. I mean who wants to take their pregnant girlfriend home to meet their nice conservative parents when the baby isn't his. A guy like Tanning wouldn't want that kind of mess in his nice life.
Now the tears are really threatening. I need to get out of here.
“Shit, look at the time. I have to go. I forgot I've got a salon appointment.” I get up taking the plate and cups, dumping them in the sink.
I give Tanning another smile and it takes all my strength to keep it pasted on my face. “I'll, um catch you later.”
He keeps looking at me, like he doesn't quite believe me, but he doesn't move. I don't wait any longer. I'm going to lose it big time, and there is only one place I can go where no one will follow, or find me. So I rush out of the room and grab my purse on the way down the hall. Once I reach my car I push on the handle with shaking hands and get in. I let out the first sob and the threatening tears start to stream down my face. I continue to put the keys in the ignition and start the beetle, then I slam it into reverse and set off down the drive.
I drive out of town heading for Wicca Woods. That place always calms me. Most people are freaked out by the alleged goings on there. Me. I just find it peaceful. And right now I need some peace. A place to think and process. A place to set my thoughts straight. I turn down the dirt track and pass the bloodied sign. Such a touristy thing, but I like it. I head for Lover's Lane. The place where it's said two lovers
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