time, knowing a well-placed slug would bring an end to this particular thief’s stealing days.
The thief seemed to sense something. He moved. Damn. Stay with it. No need to lose your cool.
The thief froze in place again, long enough to seal his fate. Wade squeezed the trigger. The loud pop echoed from his side yard and the thief fell stiff.
“That’s an unlawful discharge, Congressman.”
Wade looked up to see his only close neighbor leaning over the fence that separated their properties. His bushy hair was unkempt, as usual.
“That’s why I live in West Springs, Charles. You planning on reporting me?”
“Nah. Glad to see you get him. Pretty sure he’s the one been breaking into my shed and stealing Sheila’s food.”
A dog barked in the background.
“Sounds like Sheila agrees,” Charles said. “You gonna leave him there for the crows?”
“Why? You want him?”
“Think so. Think I’ll skin him. Way things are going, pelts might become valuable currency again.”
“I’ll get him for you.” Wade walked the fence line, picked the dead raccoon up by the tail, and brought it back to his neighbor.
“Thanks. Say, shouldn’t you have better things to be doing then shooting varmints? Like saving the dang world or something?”
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Wade rested the gun barrel on his shoulder. He then noticed Charles staring at the microbrewery logo on his T-shirt.
“This is official office wear now. Your country’s legislators have taken to working in their pajamas. Oh sure, from the shoulders up we all look professional. Can’t tell if anyone has a stitch of clothing on below that. Heard a damned cat meow on yesterday’s session. Me, I cut the top part of an old sports jacket off and drape it over my shoulders. Duct-taped a shirt collar to it with half a tie hanging from it, just for fun.”
“How’s that going?” Charles asked.
“Full of technical difficulties, as I expected.”
“What’s the problem? Connection issues?”
“Yeah. Too many of us. All our pictures are in little squares across the bottom of the screen, arranged by state. You have to keep scrolling if you want to see everyone. Poor New Yorkers have lost half of theirs, and not having luck appointing replacements. Maybe they’ll get a few more by the time we reconvene.”
“So you’re off for a few days, then?”
“Yes, Charles. While the geeks try to fix the system better. A blessing for me. Now I can go check on my special project.”
“Not the dope fields.”
“Yep. Those Black Forest boys are raring to fire up the operation, if you’ll pardon the pun. My committee was all set to tack it on to a railway measure, of all things. Then the apocalypse started. Ruined all their plans. They’re still riding me pretty hard on it, so I need to visit them.”
“Hearing you talk like this makes me glad I didn’t vote for you last time.”
“I could have used that vote.”
“Well, it was only out of neighborly spite, you understand.” Charles spit—in his own yard, thankfully—before continuing. “Forget why you pissed me off. Probably shooting. It was such a landslide the first time, I figured it wouldn’t do no harm. Had I known the last one was going to be so close...”
“Surprised me, too.” Wade shook his head. “That’s why I need to get in bed with a powerful special interest group. And these pot farming folks are suddenly wielding a pretty big crowbar. Lots of money in it.”
“How are they going to grow dope in all them pines?”
“Believe me, they have it all sorted. Land plots have been cleared, tilled, and fenced off. They’re set to go. They think they can produce as high a quality product as the warehouses, with twice the yield per acre. It’s a good location if you think about it, surrounded by trees. And the air force cadets can guard it for them. Got it all worked out with the academy. Now I just need to find a good bill to slip it in on, if we can only get
The thief seemed to sense something. He moved. Damn. Stay with it. No need to lose your cool.
The thief froze in place again, long enough to seal his fate. Wade squeezed the trigger. The loud pop echoed from his side yard and the thief fell stiff.
“That’s an unlawful discharge, Congressman.”
Wade looked up to see his only close neighbor leaning over the fence that separated their properties. His bushy hair was unkempt, as usual.
“That’s why I live in West Springs, Charles. You planning on reporting me?”
“Nah. Glad to see you get him. Pretty sure he’s the one been breaking into my shed and stealing Sheila’s food.”
A dog barked in the background.
“Sounds like Sheila agrees,” Charles said. “You gonna leave him there for the crows?”
“Why? You want him?”
“Think so. Think I’ll skin him. Way things are going, pelts might become valuable currency again.”
“I’ll get him for you.” Wade walked the fence line, picked the dead raccoon up by the tail, and brought it back to his neighbor.
“Thanks. Say, shouldn’t you have better things to be doing then shooting varmints? Like saving the dang world or something?”
“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” Wade rested the gun barrel on his shoulder. He then noticed Charles staring at the microbrewery logo on his T-shirt.
“This is official office wear now. Your country’s legislators have taken to working in their pajamas. Oh sure, from the shoulders up we all look professional. Can’t tell if anyone has a stitch of clothing on below that. Heard a damned cat meow on yesterday’s session. Me, I cut the top part of an old sports jacket off and drape it over my shoulders. Duct-taped a shirt collar to it with half a tie hanging from it, just for fun.”
“How’s that going?” Charles asked.
“Full of technical difficulties, as I expected.”
“What’s the problem? Connection issues?”
“Yeah. Too many of us. All our pictures are in little squares across the bottom of the screen, arranged by state. You have to keep scrolling if you want to see everyone. Poor New Yorkers have lost half of theirs, and not having luck appointing replacements. Maybe they’ll get a few more by the time we reconvene.”
“So you’re off for a few days, then?”
“Yes, Charles. While the geeks try to fix the system better. A blessing for me. Now I can go check on my special project.”
“Not the dope fields.”
“Yep. Those Black Forest boys are raring to fire up the operation, if you’ll pardon the pun. My committee was all set to tack it on to a railway measure, of all things. Then the apocalypse started. Ruined all their plans. They’re still riding me pretty hard on it, so I need to visit them.”
“Hearing you talk like this makes me glad I didn’t vote for you last time.”
“I could have used that vote.”
“Well, it was only out of neighborly spite, you understand.” Charles spit—in his own yard, thankfully—before continuing. “Forget why you pissed me off. Probably shooting. It was such a landslide the first time, I figured it wouldn’t do no harm. Had I known the last one was going to be so close...”
“Surprised me, too.” Wade shook his head. “That’s why I need to get in bed with a powerful special interest group. And these pot farming folks are suddenly wielding a pretty big crowbar. Lots of money in it.”
“How are they going to grow dope in all them pines?”
“Believe me, they have it all sorted. Land plots have been cleared, tilled, and fenced off. They’re set to go. They think they can produce as high a quality product as the warehouses, with twice the yield per acre. It’s a good location if you think about it, surrounded by trees. And the air force cadets can guard it for them. Got it all worked out with the academy. Now I just need to find a good bill to slip it in on, if we can only get
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